Anonymous wrote:
No. The most hovering I do is to remind re: a grade needed because a particular class is a prerequisite to another. I happen to know a lot about their majors and the progression of their classes, from my own research. Occasionally I have offered a kernel of advice that has saved them from expensive mistakes. I don't check grades. I don't know their gpa, mid-year, end of year, or final. I do know that they are progressing in their major and are on track for graduating.


Let your kid live

I said I DO NOT ask for grades. DO NOT know grades, in college never have.
Maybe improve your reading comprehension.

Both tend to tell us their test scores as we go along. They tell us there grades at the end of the semester. I don’t ever check. I trust them.

No. I don’t ask, ever.

He tells me without my prompting.

I ended up paying for college myself for this very reason. It was a heck of a lot of work and I worked two jobs all the way through the school year plus full time in the summers just to keep my head above water. Yet I would do it all the same again as it relieved so much pressure from not having my parents breathing down my neck, wanting my grades, knowing they had these expectations looming over my head.

The stress of working and financial burden was still more liberating and a lighter emotional load than my parents expectations and pressure and hovering.

Anonymous wrote:No. The most hovering I do is to remind re: a grade needed because a particular class is a prerequisite to another. I happen to know a lot about their majors and the progression of their classes, from my own research. Occasionally I have offered a kernel of advice that has saved them from expensive mistakes. I don't check grades. I don't know their gpa, mid-year, end of year, or final. I do know that they are progressing in their major and are on track for graduating.

Let your kid live.

No. The most hovering I do is to remind re: a grade needed because a particular class is a prerequisite to another. I happen to know a lot about their majors and the progression of their classes, from my own research. Occasionally I have offered a kernel of advice that has saved them from expensive mistakes. I don't check grades. I don't know their gpa, mid-year, end of year, or final. I do know that they are progressing in their major and are on track for graduating.

I don't intend to talk about it at all, unless he brings it up.

We had a talk a bit ago about how it was going, and I have enough information not to worry. He sounds good.

If for some out of character reason he is lying, I get the grade report at the end of the semester and will know then.

He's been keeping us in the loop. I don't demand to see his grades or anything because he has been communicating with us from day one.

I didn’t ask. DC was a good and motivated student and shared his grades pretty regularly (end of semester, midterm grades didn’t make much difference) but we didn’t ask. Graduated with a 3.8, which was high for his school, so demanding grades seemed unnecessary.

I’m paying the way, so no, I don’t ask to see their grades, I require they show me how they’re doing.

If DS was paying his own way, that would be different. To me, it’s an investment that I keep tabs on.

Wait for the semester. Actually, I wait for DC to tell me, and that’s when she does.

Midterm grades usually represent less than 1/2 the work reflected in the final and are never computed by the prof. So not reliable/meaningful.

Have you been having any conversation about how classes are going? I think it is important with freshman at least to be checking in and giving some guidance if they need it. If your kid already has a couple of successful semesters, I wouldn't ask unless they wanted to share.

I've been hands off about grades.

Haven't you had conversations with them about how they are feeling about school, classes, workload until now? I would think if this is the first conversation, it will seem like you care more about the grades than how your child is handling the transition and the material.

Or do you wait for end of the semester over December holiday break?