Uh, of course.

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter if the person is a stay at home wife? I feel like I need to tell her. No it’s no me or my husband nor will it effect me in any way. I just feel so bad for this person and her husband is a dirtbag for doing this.

Why would a SAHM deserve to know more than a WOHM? Seems like all women deserve a loyal spouse, regardless of where they work.

But recently I had to fend off a man married to a SAHM. I felt so bad for her, like she really has nothing but him and their kids, so she must trust him so much. Made me sick to my stomach. So I get it, but still. No wives are more equal to other wives.

Of course.

yes!

I would tell. I would set up new gmail and email wife.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter if the person is a stay at home wife? I feel like I need to tell her. No it’s no me or my husband nor will it effect me in any way. I just feel so bad for this person and her husband is a dirtbag for doing this.

I know two WOHMs who got cheated on and subsequently divorced. I also know one SAHM and one WOHM who also cheated on their spouses and got divorced. What does it prove? Nothing. You should not feel compelled to tell the SAHW, unless you and your husband want to start a GOFUNDME in her name. Because no one needs your attitude.

Whoa, what? What attitude? Op here by the way. I just don’t want to ruin her life. Maybe it won’t ruin it. I was just thinking as well that maybe what you don’t know won’t hurt you? She seems happy and is raising the kids and I am not sure I want to drop the hammer on her. No attitude coming from me, I am genuinely concerned what is the right thing to do for her.

Yes. I would want to know right away.

Yes, I’d want to know That I need to get tested for STDs.

Other than that, I realize that upon finding out I’d have to consider what to do with the information. So, you learn your spouse had a one night fling. I would be upset but the only action I’d take is get tested. If I find out about a years long affair, and that he loves her, then what? I’d want to know but knowing means imploding my whole life. I think if you want to know you have to be ready to do something with it. If I find out husband has been in a relationship with someone say like Charles and Camilla I don’t think all the marital therapy in the world would do squat.

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter if the person is a stay at home wife? I feel like I need to tell her. No it’s no me or my husband nor will it effect me in any way. I just feel so bad for this person and her husband is a dirtbag for doing this.

I know two WOHMs who got cheated on and subsequently divorced. I also know one SAHM and one WOHM who also cheated on their spouses and got divorced. What does it prove? Nothing. You should not feel compelled to tell the SAHW, unless you and your husband want to start a GOFUNDME in her name. Because no one needs your attitude.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I wish it had not gone on for 12 months before I found out. I would like to get tested for STD's earlier, separate while child was younger, and get moved on with my life quicker.

I think the STD part would be worrisome.

I know a woman (married) who had an affair with a married man. Unbeknownst to her, he was sleeping with someone else, too (other than his wife). He gave my friend an STD. I'm guessing he gave that STD to his wife, too. That's a lifelong disease to deal with.

If it was a one time thing during a difficult period in a marriage, I *might* be willing to forgive it or not even wan to know, but otherwise, yes, I'd want to know.

Absolutely! I'd hate to be the last one to know.

Yes. I wish it had not gone on for 12 months before I found out. I would like to get tested for STD's earlier, separate while child was younger, and get moved on with my life quicker.

Yes, I absolutely would. Marriage would be over and I'd want to make an exit plan.

Does it matter if the person is a stay at home wife? I feel like I need to tell her. No it’s no me or my husband nor will it effect me in any way. I just feel so bad for this person and her husband is a dirtbag for doing this.

Truthfully? Would you want someone to tell you?