Anonymous wrote:Thank you everyone for your replies, I feel much better.

To the PP who said DD should have called me—yes, my first reaction when she got home was « why didn’t you text me? » But this weekend her grade was assigned a 24-hour technology-free challenge for homework. So she had left her phone at home and in the moment didn’t think to ask to borrow a phone. Timing!

As suggested, I will give it through tomorrow.

Next time she can have her phone off but she needs to take it for safety - this exact reason. There is a difference from carrying a phone for safety and actually using it. I can get why she didn't if it was something she had never experienced.

OP, what do you expect the school to do here? Sure, if part of Larla’s expulsion included her not being allowed to set foot on school grounds the school could talk to her parents about that, but that’s pretty much it. Anything Larla might do to your daughter outside of school has nothing to do with your daughter’s school anymore and they have no jurisdiction over it. Same goes if her mom were to file a lawsuit. Unfortunately I think you have to expect that part of the message you get back will probably be that your daughter should stay out of the situation, that if she encounters Larla at another event she should find a responsible adult and discreetly ask them to deal with it, and then not gossip about it further with other students because that can be interpreted as provoking/bullying.

Thank you everyone for your replies, I feel much better.

To the PP who said DD should have called me—yes, my first reaction when she got home was « why didn’t you text me? » But this weekend her grade was assigned a 24-hour technology-free challenge for homework. So she had left her phone at home and in the moment didn’t think to ask to borrow a phone. Timing!

As suggested, I will give it through tomorrow.

I think the most you could possibly expect over the weekend would be an acknowledgement of receipt of your email, but nothing substantive. The principal will need to look into the matter to discern the full facts and figure out what, if any, role the school can have in addressing your concerns (after all, Larla’s no longer a student at the school). All of that requires talking to people, which is harder to do on a weekend.

Anonymous wrote:If you really are a teacher you know that a principal is never going to confirm that another student was expelled. Or disclose any discipline information.

This. As a teacher even I'm not allowed to know what my students have done/what their punishment is. As a parent in this case, all the principal can say is, "I'm sorry your daughter was upset, we do all we can to maintain the safety of our students, I cannot discuss other kids with you."

And I would expect that would come on a school day. I'm not sure what you think he should do on a holiday for you.

If you really are a teacher you know that a principal is never going to confirm that another student was expelled. Or disclose any discipline information.

I would not expect a weekend reply. I’d expect it by noon on the first day back. I’d be calling towards the end of the first day back if I hadn’t received an email.

I wouldn’t expect a response after hours or on the weekends. But I would also not assume that the principal is not taking action in the interim. I would imagine you would receive a response tomorrow.

I would not expect a response over a weekend/holiday.

If she was at an event, she should have talked to staff at the event. Or, call you to come get her (call the school in the morning and next time call the non-emergency police number).

No, if you are that worried, you call the non-emergency police number as well. I don't expect teachers or the principal to respond after hours (but our principal never responds). Our teacher sometimes responds after hours. None of it is important so I'd rather her be with her kids/husband.

The principal may want to consult with someone at a higher level before responding, which would likely require interaction during actual business hours.

Thank you, PP, my subject line was
Concern about student safety / interaction at [x event] 

I would not expect a response over the weekend or on holidays, but the Principal MUST respond tomorrow by the end of the day. I hope you expressed the urgency in the title, just in case they're the type of people to triage by title.

Turning to DCUM for a gut check.

I wrote to my middle schooler’s principal on Saturday night about a safety concern and haven’t received a response. Today was a holiday in our district, but I have always thought of administrators as “on call” on weekends to at least triage calls and emails. What type of response would you hope for/expect in this situation?

On Saturday evening my DD attended an event at her middle school and saw a girl, Larla, walking around who was expelled in September for sending texts to two students threatening to kill them. She also threatened to have her boyfriend rape people. So DD was concerned to see Larla at the school event. DD started explaining her concern to a high school helper she was standing with (high schooler could tell my DD was upset but wasn’t familiar with Larla or her threats).

As DD and high schooler were talking, a woman DD didn’t know came up to them, very upset, with “I’d advise you not to talk about my daughter that way”, followed by something unintelligible, followed by talk of suing the girls. My DD walked away, shaken, cried a little bit in a side room, and when she came back out both Larla and her mother were gone. But she came home from the event petrified that she’ll be on Larla’s shit list and worried about the mother.

That night, I wrote an email to the principal in which I detailed what happened that evening, expressed my daughter’s fear, and asked for him to contact me as I hoped to speak by phone or in person about ensuring my DD felt safe at school.

(Incidentally, I did learn why Larla was at this event—Larla has a sibling at the middle school, who was attending the event, and Larla came in with the mother to pick up sibling. None of the students knew they were related until then.)

As of this evening I’ve received no acknowledgment of my email, and am both surprised and disappointed as I was hoping to at least send DD in tomorrow with some reassurance that Dr. Principal is aware and he and I will talk tomorrow. Today was a federal holiday and school was not in session—would you have expected a principal to address this issue when school was not in session?

My bias here is that I’m a teacher and I answer urgent parent emails on the weekend—and my principals (since about 2002 at least) have always read email on the weekend. But if I’m being unreasonable, DCUM, let me have it!