No, I can’t downsize and stay in the same school district. We bought this house 12 years ago and extensively renovated (like tore it down to the foundation and rebuilt it) just a couple years ago). I’m in N Arlington so I can afford other houses in my neighborhood, but they’re only $100k less for so much more work, whereas this house is maintenance free. If I sell this house I can walk away with a huge chunk of change, but go where?

Op, I hate to chime in on what I'm sure will be an unwelcome chorus, but the expenses you itemize come to $8018/month. And that's before health insurance, car repairs, retirement savings, life insurance, any emergency savings, kids activities, home repairs, and a whole bunch of other things. I can't imagine your take-home will be more than $10,000/month, and even if that includes retirement savings and health insurance, that's just not enough wiggle room. You'll dig yourself into a hole before you start getting those RSUs. Sorry.

I hate to be cold hearted but even with the RSU's you can't handle a mortgage of that size - maybe 50-65% of that size. I'd hate to see you put yourself in a position where you can't make a mortgage payment and the bank starts coming after you. That will be far more stressful on you and your children. Can you downsize in the same school district or even rent for a couple of years until your income grows? This is part of the pain of divorce but it will only get worse if you dig a deep financial hole. Do you have a parent, sibling or good friend who can help you think this through?

You really need to sell the house. I'm sorry.

Op, another vote for sell the house. I know several families in my kids' school that sold their expensive houses and now rent in the same school zone in order to get their expenses down.

Plus, in your situation, it would enable you to start fresh with a new place and new memories, and not have to be constantly reminded of things like "this is where we first brought DC home from the hospital" and "this is where exDH used to play with the kids" and so on.

Sorry you're going thru this. I would unload the house for something a lot cheaper.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation--it's very rough and hard to think straight. There's such a strong feeling to hold onto the familiar for the kids--but I'm with the "sell the house" advisers. Kids are resilient--a new life can quickly become familiar--especially if you are able to stay in their school district, but even if you are not. I would contact a realtor, get their advice and prepare the house to sell in the spring and find a lovely rental that will give you more flexibility financially, less costs to maintain, and also a place to create new memories/life experiences. Having you sane, less stressed, and financially okay will be far more valuable to your children than staying in a house that you can't afford anymore. I know it's a lot of work and a lot to think about after going through hell, but it's the last bit of the marathon and then you will feel much, much better.

I’d sell the house.

I truly don’t see how this will work without you racking up credit card debt for daily expenses. That mortgage is insane on your income. Can you sell the house and downsize, at least for now, into a rental in the kids’ school district?

Anonymous wrote:I never wanted to land here, but here I am. I am the higher earning spouse, so I have the greater ability to keep the house to keep the kids in their neighborhood and school. But, it’s going to stretch me in the next year.

HHI: $215k (my salary and bonus)
Net worth: $355k (my investments and half of the equity that’s left)

Cash flow: everything is kind of decimated post divorce. I used to have no CC debt and a healthy savings account. Not so much now.
Savings account: $5k
CC: $5k in debt in leftover lawyer fees
Student loan: $33k
No car payment
Mortgage: $1,073,000

Monthly expenses:
Mortgage: $5,600
Childcare: $600
Child Support: $478
Bills/Cell Phone: $540
Car/Insurance/Gas: $200
Student Loan: $300
CC Payment: $300

Starting in 2020 I have RSUs vesting that give me big chunks of money that I can pull from but this year is going to be hard. Any hints or tips for getting through this year? Should I stop contributing to my 401k for the year (currently contributing 6% for a 6% match which vests immediately)? This is a brand new divorce- I haven’t started living without my kids half time yet (starts next week), so are my bills going to go down, and I just haven’t realized it yet?

No advice, OP...but just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this. THis part leaped out at me and made me tear up. That must be heartbreaking and I'm sorry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much will the RSU's boost your income? Will they be vesting on an ongoing schedule going forward? Unless they substantially boost your income the mortgage is way too high for your income and I'm not one of the ultra conservative housing people on here.

RSUs will add about $50k per year. I have RSUs vesting every year starting in 2020 with the smallest best being the 2020 units.

Seems like the mortgage is going to be too high even with the RSUs. I think you need to develop a full and complete budget of all of your expenditures and average out the annual expenses (i.e. vacations, home repairs which you did not include in your list) and see what your monthly costs look like.

You could possibly make it work if you are a frugal person. As an example, our HHI is a little less than yours with the RSUs and our mortgage payment is $3,500 per month but we have two children in daycare for total additional costs of $2,400 which you don't have and we still manage to save a good amount of money. This one is all going to depend on how much you spend.

I dont see how this will work.

Anonymous wrote:How much will the RSU's boost your income? Will they be vesting on an ongoing schedule going forward? Unless they substantially boost your income the mortgage is way too high for your income and I'm not one of the ultra conservative housing people on here.

RSUs will add about $50k per year. I have RSUs vesting every year starting in 2020 with the smallest best being the 2020 units.

How much will the RSU's boost your income? Will they be vesting on an ongoing schedule going forward? Unless they substantially boost your income the mortgage is way too high for your income and I'm not one of the ultra conservative housing people on here.

I never wanted to land here, but here I am. I am the higher earning spouse, so I have the greater ability to keep the house to keep the kids in their neighborhood and school. But, it’s going to stretch me in the next year.

HHI: $215k (my salary and bonus)
Net worth: $355k (my investments and half of the equity that’s left)

Cash flow: everything is kind of decimated post divorce. I used to have no CC debt and a healthy savings account. Not so much now.
Savings account: $5k
CC: $5k in debt in leftover lawyer fees
Student loan: $33k
No car payment
Mortgage: $1,073,000

Monthly expenses:
Mortgage: $5,600
Childcare: $600
Child Support: $478
Bills/Cell Phone: $540
Car/Insurance/Gas: $200
Student Loan: $300
CC Payment: $300

Starting in 2020 I have RSUs vesting that give me big chunks of money that I can pull from but this year is going to be hard. Any hints or tips for getting through this year? Should I stop contributing to my 401k for the year (currently contributing 6% for a 6% match which vests immediately)? This is a brand new divorce- I haven’t started living without my kids half time yet (starts next week), so are my bills going to go down, and I just haven’t realized it yet?