Twin mom here. The fact that you are so glib about the risks of twins is a huge red flag to me. If waiting to have a third concerns you because of all the energy it will take, you are not prepared for two at once. Also, I have met several triplet moms who “only” had two embryos transferred. You are naive. You need to educate yourself and not make this about what sounds temporarily convenient. You know what wasn’t convenient and conducive to having more energy? My two months of hospital bed rest, followed by my babies having a 3 month NICU stay (while I had a toddler at home).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because twin pregnancy is risky. Because caring for twin infants is grueling. Because parenting twins is hard. Really hard. We have twins, including one with relatively minor special needs and it is rough and they’re in upper elementary school. We got through it because you do what you must, but I really think that unless you’ve already had an infant you can’t really fathom how unrelenting twins can be.

I already have an almost-one-year old. I am concerned that it will be even more grueling caring for 3 at 45.

You are wrong. Twin infants is exponentially harder than close singletons.

-mom of 4, including 2 twins.

When I did IVF is 2016, Shady Grove made us watch these learning modules. A consistent theme of those modules was the risks associated with multiples.
In other words, I doubt that any doctor at Shady Grove would cultivate a twin pregnancy on purpose (although as others mentioned, if you are older they may put in more than one embryo to increase your chances of getting pregnant)

Most people I know personally who had twins (or were supposed to have had twins) had complications, some very serious. Everything from bed rest for a long time, one nearly dying at birth (and requiring early surgeries), one being still born, loss of both very late in 2nd trimester. Yes, there are plenty of people who have twins without issue, but the risks go way up. I kinda wanted twins, but couldn't bring myself to ask b/c of the risks involved. Better to do the most I could to have a healthy child, and minimizing the risks of multiples was part of that.

If you're older, REs will transfer multiple embryos since the likelihood that more than one will take is lower, but if have PGS tested or are young, they may not. There are ethical guidelines that they follow. I know at one RE, those are part of the paperwork I got early on outlining what the process will be like.

Disagree with the posters above. I have twins, currently in 7th grade, and it's been an amazing experience even when they were babies. Every family is different but it's been great for us. We did IVF at Shady Grove with Dr. Widra (obviously, a long time ago). Maybe look into him and see if he'd be willing to help given your specific case.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twin mom here - stop it. You don't want twins.

May I ask why? If I am lucky enough to get pregnant now, 9 months later, wait a year, and get pregnant at THAT point again, I will be 45 when the second one is born. I would rather avoid that. I think 43 is old enough. And yes I would like two.

Twins are incredibly challenging OP. You don’t want to deliberately put yourself in a position of being so overwhelmed that you can’t even enjoy it. I had no idea how hard it would be.

Anonymous wrote:Because twin pregnancy is risky. Because caring for twin infants is grueling. Because parenting twins is hard. Really hard. We have twins, including one with relatively minor special needs and it is rough and they’re in upper elementary school. We got through it because you do what you must, but I really think that unless you’ve already had an infant you can’t really fathom how unrelenting twins can be.

I already have an almost-one-year old. I am concerned that it will be even more grueling caring for 3 at 45.

Because twin pregnancy is risky. Because caring for twin infants is grueling. Because parenting twins is hard. Really hard. We have twins, including one with relatively minor special needs and it is rough and they’re in upper elementary school. We got through it because you do what you must, but I really think that unless you’ve already had an infant you can’t really fathom how unrelenting twins can be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twin mom here - stop it. You don't want twins.

May I ask why? If I am lucky enough to get pregnant now, 9 months later, wait a year, and get pregnant at THAT point again, I will be 45 when the second one is born. I would rather avoid that. I think 43 is old enough. And yes I would like two.

Do some research on the risks of multiple pregnancies. Singleton pregnancies are risky enough. You don't want to intentionally increase those risks.

Anonymous wrote:Twin mom here - stop it. You don't want twins.

May I ask why? If I am lucky enough to get pregnant now, 9 months later, wait a year, and get pregnant at THAT point again, I will be 45 when the second one is born. I would rather avoid that. I think 43 is old enough. And yes I would like two.

Twin mom here - stop it. You don't want twins.

Put back more than one embryo? Maybe depending on lots of factors. Go in with the intention of having multiples? A reputable doctor shouldn't be on board with that and presently the trend is very much single embryo transfers. Twins are more dangerous, you don't want them. I get some people have the idea of a two for one baby or that they're so cute, but no you'r upping your risk of complications.

If you mean are there doctors who will put back more than one embryo, yes. But the goal, I would imagine in all cases, isn’t to have multiples.

You don't want twins.

Are there any IVF doctors who are willing to do twins?