Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone done this? Looking to hear experiences.

Do you mean that you don't want to have any more children, but you're unwilling to destroy the embryos?

A transfer is a transfer - they can implant and then you have a pregnancy on your hands that you don't want to carry.

I would be fine with that. I don't want to go through all the drugs, because I'm also fine with it not succeeding. And I'm looking specifically for people who have experience with compassionate transfer.

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone done this? Looking to hear experiences.

Do you mean that you don't want to have any more children, but you're unwilling to destroy the embryos?

A transfer is a transfer - they can implant and then you have a pregnancy on your hands that you don't want to carry.

Anonymous wrote:No one is prohibited from responding to OP's request for information about compassionate transfers. The other posts were from people who have similar concerns but have considered other options. It's a hard issue for many who have gone through this process.

OP here. Yes, those are hard questions. It sounds like PP is in a really awful place and my heart goes out to her.

These seem to be pretty different topics, though, from a legal and emotional point of view, so PP would probably get more people checking her post if she posted again under a different subject.

No one is prohibited from responding to OP's request for information about compassionate transfers. The other posts were from people who have similar concerns but have considered other options. It's a hard issue for many who have gone through this process.

Anonymous wrote:Just to be clear, OP & the person who posted about the divorce are not the same person. I am sorry to the person who posted about their divorce. You might get more answers if you post under your own topic.

Oh wow. That wasn’t cool. I didn’t understand why the second post from what looked like op contradicted the thread title.

Just to be clear, OP & the person who posted about the divorce are not the same person. I am sorry to the person who posted about their divorce. You might get more answers if you post under your own topic.

Anonymous wrote:I destroyed them myself -- my lab gave me the vials and I'm sure they were dead by the time we got home. I burned candles and cried and poured them into the candle flame. I needed some ritual.

Good luck with your journey. I hate to say it but I think you're right about destroying them. Sounds like your ex wouldn't be much of a father.

Is it common for labs to let you destroy them yourself? Do the local labs (SG, Columbia, etc) let you do that?

I destroyed them myself -- my lab gave me the vials and I'm sure they were dead by the time we got home. I burned candles and cried and poured them into the candle flame. I needed some ritual.

Good luck with your journey. I hate to say it but I think you're right about destroying them. Sounds like your ex wouldn't be much of a father.

Also, are there any other options to deal with a situation where it will be destroyed despite your objection?

I'm in the middle of a very high-conflict divorce from someone who is behaving in a really horrendous manner. I had hoped to get out of this situation with a negotiation that would let me use the embryos independently, but he is not negotiating any aspect of this divorce. Every component of it will be litigated. Whether there are 7 days in a week will be litigated.

I obviously don't see how it is moral to bring another child into this conflict, given what I've seen thus far, but I can't say that now because then he would switch positions and say I want them myself. He does and says anything that he thinks will harm me the most.

I do not want a compassionate transfer but would like to know in advance the day and time they will be destroyed. There are so many of them I think the likelihood that one would have worked is pretty high. Maybe it's morbid or awful, but I would like to know the moment they are destroyed.

I have thought about embryo adoption but I don't think I could live with that either, even if someone would want them despite my medical history. That would be such torture, and not fair to the siblings.

Has anyone done this? Looking to hear experiences.