OP here. I guess my husband is holding out on me then. We don’t make quite as much but we live in a $700k house that he insists we can’t afford to renovate or pay to have cleaned.

Yes it is possible they did it on their own, especially if they had a home before.

Your husband is correct. They can do it without family money if they aren’t contributing to 529s or saving outside of retirement.

We make around 420k HHI and what kills us is the 529 savings and savings outside of retirement. That alone is at least 4K per month just to be on track for retirement.

Truthfully someone with a SAHM isn’t necessarily that concerned with retirement. Having a spouse stay at home is one of the worst financial decisions you can make. Unless you’re loaded not contributing to a retirement plan for years really hurts.

We bought a 1.3 m house in our early thirties. No family help, just sheer saving. Totally doeble.

Anonymous wrote:He probably makes $350k or so. If they have been saving his bonuses for a down payment or maybe her income before she quit, totally doable.

Especially if they are not big spenders. Do they drive luxury cars? Do they take expensive vacations? Does he have an expensive watch? Does she carry a Celine bag? If no, their house is their priority and it is doable.

We don't even make big law money and could have done it. DH and I both sold homes for six figure profits in our early 30s, and I had done the same a few years earlier in my late 20s. We banked the money, and could have done a 350K down payment That would have been all of our cash, however, so there would have had to be a really compelling reason to do it.

My point is just that there are many routes to what you describe, some of them involve inheritance or family money, some don't.

Definitely possible, especially if they saved a lot before or had equity in a first house.

He probably makes $350k or so. If they have been saving his bonuses for a down payment or maybe her income before she quit, totally doable.

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care?

OP here. We are same age, roughly same income and I don’t get the math without them being very very house poor.

Why do you care?

Why don't you just ask them?

OP here. So are people guessing large downpayment or mammoth mortgage?

Upper 30s? Definitely possible.

eh, this what we did w/o help. I worked before we had kids, and we're older so we had time to save

Friend of mine and her husband just bought a $1.6M house. 3 kids (public school) wife stays home. Husband is a senior associate in Biglaw (but not partner yet.) They are not that old (upper 30’s) and weren’t part of any company IPO’s or anything like that. I say no way they could do this without help. DH says they could if they really stretched.

What day you? They had help or no? (And yes it’s none of my business - not going to ask her, just curious how others read this.)