Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a weird question.
She can study in her own room, or in a library but not necessarily early on Sunday morning.
She sounds like she needs to learn how to manage her time better, maybe? Draw up a studying schedule, do a better job of estimating how long each task lasts, etc...
Is there a counselor she could go to, to get studying tips?

Right. “Mom I totally study in my room, promise I’m not just sleeping in til noon then rolling out of bed to dining at 12:30.”

Where she is has no real bearing on what she's doing. There are lots of people in the library watching Netflix or scrolling through their instagram feed or whatever besides actually studying.

You need to let go

Anonymous wrote:Op, sleeping in on the weekends is a given. I see no reason she should have to get up early on a Sunday to study, if she has the rest of the day/night free.

Well if you also know she did nothing academic Friday nights and all day on Saturdays it becomes very concerning.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never studied in the library at college. But occasionally I would do so class reading there because of the nice smoking lounge and a coffee machine.

We all use the find my family app, so it’s not like she’s just not in one of many libraries (or study spots), she’s barely studying.

O.k. this is creepy. I can't imagine tracking my college kid like that. Your assumptions based on this tracking may not even be accurate. I know that I studied in my dorm and sometimes even outside sitting on the grass. A picnic table on a pretty day was a great place to study.

Why does she need to study in the library? Most stuff is fully online.

Anonymous wrote:What a weird question.
She can study in her own room, or in a library but not necessarily early on Sunday morning.
She sounds like she needs to learn how to manage her time better, maybe? Draw up a studying schedule, do a better job of estimating how long each task lasts, etc...
Is there a counselor she could go to, to get studying tips?

Right. “Mom I totally study in my room, promise I’m not just sleeping in til noon then rolling out of bed to dining at 12:30.”

Op, sleeping in on the weekends is a given. I see no reason she should have to get up early on a Sunday to study, if she has the rest of the day/night free.

Anonymous wrote: DC said she felt behind a couple weeks ago and was startled at the pace — her words. Wouldn’t that mean getting to the library early and often?

OP it might, but it might mean other things instead, or as well. What is your goal? To help her think through a solution to her problem? To badger her into getting her act together? To give her fair warning before you pull funding?

Make your own plan B (what if she gets all Cs this semester? what if she comes home at Thanksgiving and you suspect a drinking problem? etc) before you decide what to say. If she told you she felt behind and was startled at the pace, that is fair game for you to ask her about. But diving into what time she hit the library on a particular Sunday morning is bizarre.

I did better studying in the student union or at a coffee shop. The library was too quiet, I worked better with a little bit of background noise. Common areas of the dorm could be good, too, but usually there were a lot of distractions there (people coming by to say "hi").

Most college kids aren't morning people. They aren't awake enough to study at 8 or 9 in the morning.

Anonymous wrote:I never studied in the library at college. But occasionally I would do so class reading there because of the nice smoking lounge and a coffee machine.

We all use the find my family app, so it’s not like she’s just not in one of many libraries (or study spots), she’s barely studying.

I was always angry that the library didn't open until 9 on Sunday.

Anonymous wrote:We’re breaking our backs for an expensive college and worried DC is being lazy or possibly partying too much. Here’s the issue: DC said she felt behind a couple weeks ago and was startled at the pace — her words. Wouldn’t that mean getting to the library early and often?

We don’t mind her being social but if it comes at expense of not studying Friday night, doing nothing productive Saturday, then ALSO sleeping in Sunday that’s an issue.

You are micromanaging. If she fails, she will face natural consequences. I got less than stellar grades my first year at college because I was putting in high-school level effort for college-level classes. It was a wake up call and I resolved to do better coming into my sophomore year. I never received below an A- for the rest of my time at school.

I never studied in the library at college. But occasionally I would do so class reading there because of the nice smoking lounge and a coffee machine.

What a weird question.
She can study in her own room, or in a library but not necessarily early on Sunday morning.
She sounds like she needs to learn how to manage her time better, maybe? Draw up a studying schedule, do a better job of estimating how long each task lasts, etc...
Is there a counselor she could go to, to get studying tips?

We’re breaking our backs for an expensive college and worried DC is being lazy or possibly partying too much. Here’s the issue: DC said she felt behind a couple weeks ago and was startled at the pace — her words. Wouldn’t that mean getting to the library early and often?

We don’t mind her being social but if it comes at expense of not studying Friday night, doing nothing productive Saturday, then ALSO sleeping in Sunday that’s an issue.