Predictably, people on here are being snarky about the cool kids.

In my kids’ middle school the cool kids are the athletes and the charismatic “got their shit together” leader types.

Too cliquey and diverse for a single set of cool kids. Kids find their people or overlapping circles and are less aware/concerned about what’s going on in other social groups.

As others have said the cool kids in MS are the ones with minimal structure and more money. They use their parent's status to buy status in HS.

In life, there have been studies showing cool in MS is a bad thing for long term success.

DD accurately calls them the "look at me girls" or the "dark-side kids."



\\hehe

The "popular " kids are the ones who are more socially tuned in so take time on their dress, hair makeup because they understand it is social currency.
The really cool, interesting kids have better things to spend their time on.

Anonymous wrote:At our public middle it's the good looking, confident athletes that are cool.

Most of the cool kids are very nice and friendly. Being a jerk is not cool and misbehaving is really not cool.

Generally the cool kids are sporty, and more or less attractive, but what sets them apart as "cool" is that they have per.issive parents and are much more experimental with things, especially opposite sex relationships and substance use. They often have older siblings and try to emulate what they perceive the high school kids to be. They are not necessarily more "mean" than other kids their ages, but they are more self absorbed and don't notice the other kids, which makes others feel on the outside. This increases their cool factor, and makes their real or perceived snubs feel much more painful.

I have noticed that their parents like to talk about how outgoing and well liked they are, but often they aren't really liked, just emulated and feared.

At our public middle it's the good looking, confident athletes that are cool.

Most of the cool kids are very nice and friendly. Being a jerk is not cool and misbehaving is really not cool.

In my school it seems to be the kids with confidence. I’ve taught all types who would be considered “cool” or popular by middle and high school standards. Sometimes they are athletes but they are just as likely to be musicians or self proclaimed tech nerds. They are confident in who they are at the moment. It’s hard and awkward to be a teen so confidence or at least appearing confident does not come easy to most.

In our FCPS middle:

The rich kids whose parents let them do whatever they want. They’re in the regular, non-advanced classes, and are looking for trouble early on.

DD is in high school now, but in her middle school it was the better-looking super nice, super smart kids who dressed well.

Public charter school in San Francisco.

You told your kid the good looking kids are popular do he can work it out in his brain that hes not popular, ergo. Not good looking?

Wow

I asked my kid and he said that doesn’t really exist in his public middle. Maybe it’s a socioeconomic thing.

In my experience, things are a bit less cliquey today than when we were kids.

That said, confident athletes always give off that "cool" vibe, so that may be what he's perceiving. I hope your son finds his crew and has a good experience.

Some things don’t change much. I’d say the “cool” kids are mostly those who have a natural confidence, are attractive and/or good athletes.

DS just moved to public school after spending most of his elementary years in private. He has a new friend who has mentioned the "cool," popular kids picking on him. DS has no idea who he's talking about as he's not used to a school with so many cliques. As I haven't been in MS for decades I told him that in my MS they were the sporty, good-looking kids and it made us both curious about what is considered cool these days. Please no meanness. He came from a very small school and is socially kind of clueless.