Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you cannot afford private K so I don't know what you think your options are. Homeschool?

OP here and I don’t think we have many options. In hindsight, maybe I would have kept DD at her preschool for half-day K, but I know she’s ready for the full day, maybe just not a full day of this. And frankly it would have just been putting off the inevitable - we were going to end up at this school anyway. I don’t feel like she’s too young, I just feel like she’s getting lost in the chaos.

We also looked in to a smaller Catholic school we could afford. The dilemma is that we’re not super on board with the religious component of that type of education, which is kind of a major thing.

I guess my question is - is this normal? I expected growing pains but this just feels so off to me. Parents in the nieghborgood LOVE this school. Does it just take more timE? My only context is lunch and DD’s uncharacteristic sadness when it comes to school these days.

Some parents just have more go-with-the flow kids, or are just hard-asses themselves (ie pride themselves on not being helicopters), or don't actually spend any time at the school to know what's going on. Having sort of been in your shoes, give it a few months and you'll probably see your daughter blossom. I wonder if helping foster friendships through playdates might help as well?

In the long run, however, I personally think I would not like a school that huge, and might think about trying to make a move to find a different setting. But again, chances are your DD will adapt, and if other parents like the school, it probably offers a good academic and social setting for the vast majority of kids.

Another thing to realize is that this is PUBLIC school. For better or for worse, you're not paying anyone to nurture your kid. The focus is not on any one kid or family, but rather on the public system of education. There are pluses and minuses to that!

At the end of the day, keep an open mind about your daughter's experience. It may not be what you imagine in your fuzziest most nurturing fantasies, but there could also be advantages, and you'll see her grow in confidence and ability to navigate the system for herself.

OMG what school is this? that's insane.

Our kindergarten had 19-20 kids and TWO teachers full-time teachers.

Anonymous wrote:A few points.

1. Your kid's class should have two adults working in the room. Is there no IA? Additionally, if there are kids with special needs, the SPED teacher should be in the room pushing in for stations, etc.

2. Lunch is nuts. A lot of it is getting the kids to become more self-sufficient. It's a huge leap and going to be difficult until around Thanksgiving. What you are describing is on the crazy side of normal, but K kids need to learn.

3. Teaching your kid to advocate is crazy important. It's only going to get worse.

OP here and this is good advice. There is an IA (I just met her today - she’s wonderful) and DD seems to really like her so I’ll encourage her to reach out to IA if she needs something.

I’ve heard lunch is bonkers and I’m hoping it, and the rest of the chaos (like the bus, etc.) evens out as the year goes on. We’re going to give this a fair shot, but it’s helpful for me to hear what’s within the realm of normal and what’s not.

I’m sad because I had a kid who blossomed at school until now, and I don’t want to wreck a good start or make her hate school. I also don’t want to jump the gun and make any crazy changes too fast.

Thanks again, all.

Anonymous wrote:This was our situation as well. We couldn't move (easily at least) and private wasn't an option. I worked part time and spun my schedule so I could volunteer in her classroom every day from 845 to 1045. I know some schools don't allow this but ours did. I did the background check and paid for it myself. I didn't act like a teacher, knew I wasn't a teacher, and humblely asked her if I could just volunteer for the first few weeks. I did things like staple pages, wipe kids noses, take kids to the nurses office, sanitize and clean tables and toys, helped make charts and visuals, pack book bags, run copies etc. We weren't allowed to grade anything though. I told the teacher I would come as often as she permitted. She was very gracious and let me come everyday. I dropped down to 3 days a week by the end of the year. I know this isn't an option for most people but in my case it worked wonderfully. The teacher is still a great friend and I plan on doing a similar schedule next year when my middle DC goes to K.

OP here and you are a saint. I know there are volunteer opportunities in the classroom and I wonder if I’d change my tune if I had insight into what went on in the classroom. I stay at home (I work nights and weekends) during the day and have a 1 year old. I strap her to my back and hoof it into the lunchroom like some sort of weird, lumbering camel but we make it work. I can’t volunteer with the baby in tow (school rules, my lunch visits are as a “guest”), and 1 year old screams her tiny face off if I try to leave her with anyone, but she may just have to suck it up so I can get some time in the classroom.

Thank you for your input - it was really helpful!

A few points.

1. Your kid's class should have two adults working in the room. Is there no IA? Additionally, if there are kids with special needs, the SPED teacher should be in the room pushing in for stations, etc.

2. Lunch is nuts. A lot of it is getting the kids to become more self-sufficient. It's a huge leap and going to be difficult until around Thanksgiving. What you are describing is on the crazy side of normal, but K kids need to learn.

3. Teaching your kid to advocate is crazy important. It's only going to get worse.

This was our situation as well. We couldn't move (easily at least) and private wasn't an option. I worked part time and spun my schedule so I could volunteer in her classroom every day from 845 to 1045. I know some schools don't allow this but ours did. I did the background check and paid for it myself. I didn't act like a teacher, knew I wasn't a teacher, and humblely asked her if I could just volunteer for the first few weeks. I did things like staple pages, wipe kids noses, take kids to the nurses office, sanitize and clean tables and toys, helped make charts and visuals, pack book bags, run copies etc. We weren't allowed to grade anything though. I told the teacher I would come as often as she permitted. She was very gracious and let me come everyday. I dropped down to 3 days a week by the end of the year. I know this isn't an option for most people but in my case it worked wonderfully. The teacher is still a great friend and I plan on doing a similar schedule next year when my middle DC goes to K.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you cannot afford private K so I don't know what you think your options are. Homeschool?

OP here and I don’t think we have many options. In hindsight, maybe I would have kept DD at her preschool for half-day K, but I know she’s ready for the full day, maybe just not a full day of this. And frankly it would have just been putting off the inevitable - we were going to end up at this school anyway. I don’t feel like she’s too young, I just feel like she’s getting lost in the chaos.

We also looked in to a smaller Catholic school we could afford. The dilemma is that we’re not super on board with the religious component of that type of education, which is kind of a major thing.

I guess my question is - is this normal? I expected growing pains but this just feels so off to me. Parents in the nieghborgood LOVE this school. Does it just take more timE? My only context is lunch and DD’s uncharacteristic sadness when it comes to school these days.

Oh geez, I sympathize! We only have 3 K classes, and lunch and recess were still overwhelming for my young 5. I totally understand the Ryker's comparison. I think a lot of sensitive moms feel like they're institutionalizing their children!

The good news is that kids DO adapt, and can handle a lot. You say she likes some of the activities, so that's good.

Short of moving to get into a smaller school, doesn't sound like you can do much other than try to make home very comfortable and positive.

Are you a SAHM? Could you look into a homeschool coop? I would look at all options. This sounds unacceptable.

Our FCPS ES is smaller, with 3 kindergarten classes. Although I feel like full-day kindergarten is simply too long for 5 year olds, and I think the expectations are developmentally inappropriate, I don't feel like my DC is lost in the shuffle or ignored.

You've described real problems. In your shoes, I would schedule a conference with the teacher to discuss them. She needs to know about it. Indeed, it sounds like you may need to go to the assistant principal as well, to address the concerns in the lunch room.

What about cheaper private options? Or parochial schools?

I don’t know what you do but it sounds chaotic. Could you look into private options?

It sounds like you cannot afford private K so I don't know what you think your options are. Homeschool?

We had similar concerns when our child was 5 and we went to our local open house to check it out. We ended up holding our kid back for one year so he wouldn't be the youngest in K with a late summer birthday. He ended up attending K right after turning 6 and we didn't have a single crying issue (and none so far in 1st grade either).

DD is in the middle of the pack age-wise, tall for her age, confident, bright, snarky to us but great at school. We’re coming off two years at a sweet and nurturing preschool and she’s at a FCPS with 7 Kindergarten classes, 26 kids in her class.

She went from being SO excited about going to K all summer to crying and asking not to have to go to school. She likes a lot of the activities but it’s just soooo chaotic. I go to lunch at least once a week to help because all 7 of those classes are in the cafeteria with a few overworked lunch ladies and what few parents volunteer. I was one of maybe 3 parents total today. It’s just not enough supervision for these tiny people.

Kids are bawling in their seats, crying for their moms. Two kids at our table were sick, one made herself barf to get to leave lunch. I noticed another girl not eating and burying her head. It took me awhile to get to her between helping other kids and when I finally did, she was covered with blood from a nosebleed. She hadn’t said a word and just sat there bleeding.

These kids just seem really under-supervised/nurtured for their ages. DD evidently had a choking fit the other day, threw up in the classroom bathroom, cleaned herself up, and carried on with her day with vomit in her hair and on her clothes and backpack. No one noticed and she said she didn’t want to bother anyone. She lost a tooth in the bathroom last week and was bleeding like a stuck pig (poor kid also dropped the tooth and couldn’t find it). Again, didn’t say anything and no one noticed.

I know I need to get DD to speak up. Her teacher has 26 kids to worry about and doesn’t have the bandwidth to hover, and that’s OK. I’m just not getting a warm fuzzy aboit this place, despite other parents’ glowing reviews. I don’t expect public K to be like our sweet preschool, but this just feels like Ryker’s Island Jr. We are so not in a place to afford a smaller private school but it makes me sick to my stomach to send my kid there every day. She’s five, for goodness sakes. WWYD?