Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm... Asian here. I brought a male coworker a Chinese pastry the other day because he mentioned how much he loves them and can’t find them anywhere. Neither of us thought anything of it (he’s white).

PP here (White GenXer who won't make plates for coworkers). I'd do that. I have done that (well, not Chinese pastries). I think this isn't the same as preparing a plate for them.

Gen X white woman. Need some clarification on "bring food" I think.

I would never prepare a dish or heat up somebody's lunch (under normal circumstances. The broken leg or two broken wrists scenario is totally reasonable an humane).

I would pick up lunch for somebody if I was going out and happen to walk by Joe or Dan or Ellen and say, hey, I'm going to Manny's, want something?

But preparing a plate for somebody is definitely a thing you do for a loved one. Your children. Your spouse. Your best friend when she is exhausted. Or, yeah, I guess your AP in the office.

Hmmmm... Asian here. I brought a male coworker a Chinese pastry the other day because he mentioned how much he loves them and can’t find them anywhere. Neither of us thought anything of it (he’s white).

Anonymous wrote:Millennial white woman. I would feed anyone. If he were in a time pinch
, I would heat up Satan's lunch.

I'm thinking about it and I definitely fixed lunch for someone who I haven't had an ideal work relationship with, because he was going to be unable to eat. It took me 2 minutes. I'm fairly senior at work. Not remotely sexual. Just keeping the trains running on time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:gen x, white, I feed anyone and everyone. it's not sexual in any way; it's caregiving.

Also gen x white. I'll pick up lunch for a group, but no f'ing way do you do that for just one guy if you are not looking for a little something extra. Random coworkers do not need 'caretaking'.

+1

You are too close to that co-worker if you even think this is a good idea.

Millennial white woman. I would feed anyone. If he were in a time pinch
, I would heat up Satan's lunch.

Can you link to the original thread? What is meant by "bringing food"? Bringing someone a tray with soup and a handmade peanut butter sandwich? Or picking up a large pepperoni for the office at Domino's pizza?

In our office (mixed ethnicities, both genders, all ages) we are big foodies, so we all often bring in leftovers of a cake or large dish we made over the weekend. If I know someone of either gender likes a particular thing (lemon or peanut butter desserts, for example) I might send them an email so they know that the thing they like is available before they make it to the lunchroom/fridge and it's all gone. They do the same. It's totally non-romantic.

Asian female -- I'll feed my man, my family, and any family or friends who've come to my home. In an office setting - no effing way. I don't want to be seen as the office mom/wife making sure all the men have eaten. Not my problem whether they eat or not, even if they are my work friends.

No problems picking up lunch for people if I'm going -- but then that's not just for one guy.

Anonymous wrote:gen x, white, I feed anyone and everyone. it's not sexual in any way; it's caregiving.

Also gen x white. I'll pick up lunch for a group, but no f'ing way do you do that for just one guy if you are not looking for a little something extra. Random coworkers do not need 'caretaking'.

gen x, white, I feed anyone and everyone. it's not sexual in any way; it's caregiving.

Anonymous wrote:Gen X AA female. I would only bring food to my man (DH) or my elders (dad, FIL) with DH served first. I would not bring food to a coworker or friend.

Same except I’m a millennial.

I'm a hispanic man and if a woman brought me food, I thought she would be hitting on me. I find it's just weird to do if it's not your man, minority or not.

Gen X AA female. I would only bring food to my man (DH) or my elders (dad, FIL) with DH served first. I would not bring food to a coworker or friend.

So I was reading the other lunch thread with my coworkers. DCUM is our guilty pleasure during our down time. 2 of the five of us both white said it was no big deal. But the other 3 ( two Hispanic and one African American) said you don’t bring food to a man who is not your man.in every way. Basically it’s marking your territory. I was told to ask any black/Hispanic woman and I’d be told the same. So an informal survey what say you DCUM?