My mom didn’t allow me to go to parties where parents weren’t home. Most of my friends parents felt the same


We went to several. This revelation is not ground breaking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh? My takeaway was that parents should teach their sons not to rape women.

Of course, they absolutely should. But since they apparently are not, then girls need to stay safe. People ought to teach their kids not to be muggers, as well. But that doesn't stop me from teaching my daughters not to walk city streets alone at night.

Or, as a parent monitor what your kid is doing, make sure there is appropriate supervision at parties and be available to them if they want to leave early, etc. This isn't about walking alone at night. This is about what is happening at unsupervised or supervised parties. None of this is anything new and been going on for generations so I don't know why people are acting surprised.

Having led a very sheltered childhood, I don't understand why parents would NOT want to be discreetly present at a teens' party.

Anonymous wrote:Huh? My takeaway was that parents should teach their sons not to rape women.

Of course, they absolutely should. But since they apparently are not, then girls need to stay safe. People ought to teach their kids not to be muggers, as well. But that doesn't stop me from teaching my daughters not to walk city streets alone at night.

Anonymous wrote:Huh? My takeaway was that parents should teach their sons not to rape women.

That is your solution. Sounds like a parenting cop-out.

Huh? My takeaway was that parents should teach their sons not to rape women.

Benn thinking about this too with my middle school daughter who is already liking boys. How am I going to be able to keep her safe while she is young and until she has it enough together to recognize when situations are going bad? I was a church kid and that kept me away from lots of this stuff.

We are at a public school and this looks familiar (in terms of the drinking/drugs/wild parties).

It may also suggest that the moneyed should be careful about the veneer of innocence that wealth creates. Most likely, the private school scene hasn't changed all that much.

The parents are just as bad. You need to know the parents and know what they condone. Bc parents being present doesn't mean a thing.

Anonymous wrote:Can't say you're wrong, OP. Nothing good ever happened at parties I attended where parents weren't around. Not saying we were angels when they WERE around but at least it didn't turn into a wild rager, we all had to try and be sneaky (which I'm sure we weren't anywhere near as good at as we thought).

That said, I think it's just as dangerous to attend the parties hosted by the "cool parents" who are so desperate to be liked that they let the kids go hogwild. For example: https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2018/opinions/arlington-texas/?utm_term=.31b4c0b721d4

Yep.

The "cool parent" homes are the ones to be avoided.

But if you look at the Holton yearbook excerpt from the same era before it was scrubbed from the internet, a lot of parents were home for those wild drinking parties.

Anonymous wrote:Can't say you're wrong, OP. Nothing good ever happened at parties I attended where parents weren't around. Not saying we were angels when they WERE around but at least it didn't turn into a wild rager, we all had to try and be sneaky (which I'm sure we weren't anywhere near as good at as we thought).

That said, I think it's just as dangerous to attend the parties hosted by the "cool parents" who are so desperate to be liked that they let the kids go hogwild. For example: https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2018/opinions/arlington-texas/?utm_term=.31b4c0b721d4

I read this the other day. Heartbreaking and so disturbing. I hope it is a wake up call to parents and communities. So much was wrong -- the party mom covering her own butt, the kids bot wanting their friend's rep ruined, the male dominated system not proceeding despite conclusive examination and test results, the community not wanting their party world to be rocked. It's just so wrong.

This article + all the recent Kavanaugh stuff makes me think too about HS party scene. My kid is only a freshman and not a partier, but it is important for kids to be aware. Ignorance makes girls even more vulnerable.

Can't say you're wrong, OP. Nothing good ever happened at parties I attended where parents weren't around. Not saying we were angels when they WERE around but at least it didn't turn into a wild rager, we all had to try and be sneaky (which I'm sure we weren't anywhere near as good at as we thought).

That said, I think it's just as dangerous to attend the parties hosted by the "cool parents" who are so desperate to be liked that they let the kids go hogwild. For example: https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2018/opinions/arlington-texas/?utm_term=.31b4c0b721d4

I hate that my kids are exposed to that whole circus, but I think my daughter now better understands why I ask the details and parent supervision of parties she wants to go to!

Whatever you believe about Kavanaugh's guilt, the descriptions of drinking, partying, etc. don't sound all that different from what I hear about today at high school parties. Lots of drinking and some drugs. And either parental absence or else parents hiding up in their bedroom with all manner of chaos going on downstairs.