Anonymous
09/21/2018 08:58
Subject: When do they tell you if they counsel your child out?
Anonymous wrote:Why can’t the family ask the school directly? More importantly, why doesn’t the school address it directly rather than have the family go through this agony of not knowing?
The family cannot ask the school directly because:
1) the school has not made a definitive decision yet
2) the school does not want to invite conflict which can lead to disruptive behavior from the child and/or parent - leading to reputational damage
3) the school must have all their ducks in a row before making the decision because the parents could be litigious - leading to reputational damage
Anonymous
09/21/2018 08:45
Subject: When do they tell you if they counsel your child out?
Why can’t the family ask the school directly? More importantly, why doesn’t the school address it directly rather than have the family go through this agony of not knowing?
Anonymous
09/21/2018 08:24
Subject: Re:When do they tell you if they counsel your child out?
If you feel in your gut this is happening, it makes sense to have 2-pronged approach.
Visit schools that also seem like a good fit (maybe smaller? maybe a shorter commute? maybe an emphasis on an area of strength for your child?).
You could also consider some more educational testing. Could your child be struggling b/c the workload is too challenging? Maybe they can't take notes quickly and having a copy of the powerpoint is all they need to stay afloat in a class with notes, but nobody knew this before.....
If you have already had a meeting, they may not think it is a good fit.
I know some parents who hid info about their kids and then were surprised the school couldn't work around that. Telling ahead of time means they can choose the best teacher for that unique class.
Instead of "are you counseling ___ out" you could ask, "What do you think ___ needs to have and do to succeed here, and can you suggest where we can get the resources to make that happen?
"
Visit schools that also seem like a good fit (maybe smaller? maybe a shorter commute? maybe an emphasis on an area of strength for your child?).
You could also consider some more educational testing. Could your child be struggling b/c the workload is too challenging? Maybe they can't take notes quickly and having a copy of the powerpoint is all they need to stay afloat in a class with notes, but nobody knew this before.....
If you have already had a meeting, they may not think it is a good fit.
I know some parents who hid info about their kids and then were surprised the school couldn't work around that. Telling ahead of time means they can choose the best teacher for that unique class.
Instead of "are you counseling ___ out" you could ask, "What do you think ___ needs to have and do to succeed here, and can you suggest where we can get the resources to make that happen?
"
Anonymous
09/21/2018 07:37
Subject: When do they tell you if they counsel your child out?
This happens at special needs schools too, it's about fit.
Anonymous
09/21/2018 07:20
Subject: Re:When do they tell you if they counsel your child out?
Sounds despicable. Parents with kids at private schools really ought to ask themselves whether they are comfortable with this “Lord of the Flies” dynamic that produces Brett Kavanaughs, George Huguely, and legions of mean girls.
Anonymous
09/21/2018 02:13
Subject: Re:When do they tell you if they counsel your child out?
Anonymous wrote:For families we know who've gone through this, the school doesn't tell you directly until Feb. when contract renewal is delayed. There are usually lots of indications during meetings leading up to that point though. School wants situation to improve as much as parents do. Meetings eventually start to include more direct communication and outline specific things that need to change. More documentation to measure whether situation is improving. Not much else the school can do if family wants their kid to stay. Diagnoses need to be made. New therapies tried. There might be improvement, then the process may start up again. Schools don't ultimately make the decision - they try their best to support the family as they make it.
OP if you think you are getting clues, be direct with the school now and ask whether you should consider applying out. The school can support your DCs application to a better fit school much better now than after a year of failed efforts to fix the situation. If the situation improves, and your child gets in somewhere else then you have a choice to make. Much better to be in that position.
If the school is counseling the student out, then the school IS making the decision. You can argue that the family shouldn't want the kid to be at a school that doesn't want them, but that's beside the point.
Anonymous
09/21/2018 00:28
Subject: When do they tell you if they counsel your child out?
Anonymous wrote:Why do you think he is being counseled out?
Obviously I don’t want details- I mean what has happened to indicate this is the route they are leaning towards?
Anonymous
09/21/2018 00:27
Subject: When do they tell you if they counsel your child out?
Why do you think he is being counseled out?
Anonymous
09/20/2018 23:58
Subject: Re:When do they tell you if they counsel your child out?
For families we know who've gone through this, the school doesn't tell you directly until Feb. when contract renewal is delayed. There are usually lots of indications during meetings leading up to that point though. School wants situation to improve as much as parents do. Meetings eventually start to include more direct communication and outline specific things that need to change. More documentation to measure whether situation is improving. Not much else the school can do if family wants their kid to stay. Diagnoses need to be made. New therapies tried. There might be improvement, then the process may start up again. Schools don't ultimately make the decision - they try their best to support the family as they make it.
OP if you think you are getting clues, be direct with the school now and ask whether you should consider applying out. The school can support your DCs application to a better fit school much better now than after a year of failed efforts to fix the situation. If the situation improves, and your child gets in somewhere else then you have a choice to make. Much better to be in that position.
OP if you think you are getting clues, be direct with the school now and ask whether you should consider applying out. The school can support your DCs application to a better fit school much better now than after a year of failed efforts to fix the situation. If the situation improves, and your child gets in somewhere else then you have a choice to make. Much better to be in that position.
Anonymous
09/20/2018 22:26
Subject: When do they tell you if they counsel your child out?
They usually start with meetings in the Fall. Around December - January, they'll bring up the contract. Sometimes they hold it and if things improve later in the year you can still return.
Anonymous
09/20/2018 22:24
Subject: Re:When do they tell you if they counsel your child out?
Anonymous wrote:if the school isn't a good fit/isn't bringing out the best in your child's behavior/academics, it's probably best to look for another school any way.
+1
Not sure why you'd want your kid to stay there if you were aware that he's not doing well.
Anonymous
09/20/2018 22:22
Subject: When do they tell you if they counsel your child out?
Ncs/st albans, sidwell, gds, maret, Potomac.
If your child is going to be counseled out, my suggestion would be to ask the administration directly. I’m assuming you pay a lot of money to go there, and it isn’t an unreasonable request to ask “where do we stand”? .
If your child is going to be counseled out, my suggestion would be to ask the administration directly. I’m assuming you pay a lot of money to go there, and it isn’t an unreasonable request to ask “where do we stand”? .
Anonymous
09/20/2018 21:54
Subject: Re:When do they tell you if they counsel your child out?
wait please what is a big 5?
Anonymous
09/20/2018 21:41
Subject: Re:When do they tell you if they counsel your child out?
It's only the third week of school, right? You have lots of time to work on behavior/academics and try to turn things around. But if the school isn't a good fit/isn't bringing out the best in your child's behavior/academics, it's probably best to look for another school any way.
Anonymous
09/20/2018 21:39
Subject: When do they tell you if they counsel your child out?
We are at a Big 5 and I feel like we are getting little clues that our DC might be getting counseled out. For those that know about this, do they give you a heads up if that happens? Or should we start applying to other schools as a safety? I am just worried they won’t tell us until applications are past due and then we will be in a bind. Any insight into this is helpful.