Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks everyone for your candid replies. Looking back was i guess a few weeks ago when he requested to follow me on Instagram (i'm a private account) and low and behold everything i post is liked.

So there's no other scenario right? I've got a dog for a boss posing as a nice guy that is going to look for something in return for my promotion?

The risk seems so high (as stated several times by PP's) - this just makes no sense to me. And of course his DW is a very well read and accomplished woman in her field so I just don't get it.

What has happened is that it's made me look at my DH in another way - I'm seeing all of his flaws - I don't like thinking this way but i'm comparing. I'm being 100% honest because this is all just making me nuts. We're launching a huge project so I'm working crazy hours (w him of course) so I feel like my common sense roadmap is upside down.

Yes because you are looking for a reason to cheat.
So you know you have a dog of a boss who will screw you and most likely dump you when the sex gets boring.
And in the meatime maybe your husband will have found his own playmate.

He can't make her do anything.

I say ride it out for as long as you can, take the VP role and remain chatty. That's what I'd do, executive level promotions are all politics any way.

You do you girl!

Since he's your boss, you need to have a strategy to build in distance slowly and imperceptibly to make him believe he has lost interest.

Regarding comparing, that's natural. But you're comparing your boss at his best to your husband at his worst which isn't a fair comparison.

You might need a new job.

OP here - thanks everyone for your candid replies. Looking back was i guess a few weeks ago when he requested to follow me on Instagram (i'm a private account) and low and behold everything i post is liked.

So there's no other scenario right? I've got a dog for a boss posing as a nice guy that is going to look for something in return for my promotion?

The risk seems so high (as stated several times by PP's) - this just makes no sense to me. And of course his DW is a very well read and accomplished woman in her field so I just don't get it.

What has happened is that it's made me look at my DH in another way - I'm seeing all of his flaws - I don't like thinking this way but i'm comparing. I'm being 100% honest because this is all just making me nuts. We're launching a huge project so I'm working crazy hours (w him of course) so I feel like my common sense roadmap is upside down.

Here's my trick: tell him about how some guy tried to hit on you and how wildly inappropriate you found it, since you're happily married and all. Whenever he gets too close, even metaphorically, pull out some comment about how you and DH are planning something romantic together.

As PP said - nothing to gain and everything to lose. And I mean everything.

Chatty texts, weekend end check-ins and wanting to be alone with you are all red flags. Right now you are as guilty as him. He will assume that a quick promo to VP requires something in return. Don't be surprised if others in the office are seeing things. You need to stop responding to his chatty texts and don't answer his weekend calls. And don't spend time alone with him unless you are in an office with the door open. His behavior is bordering on harassment, your behavior is just stupid.

Read "Not Just Friends " by Shirley Glass. You are on a slippery slope.

In 6 mo you've been promoted to VP?

Anonymous wrote:You've already crossed a line with the texts.

Your promotion to VP? Be honest. Do you think this was based solely on your work performance?

The guy must realize that he could lose his job/rep if he does sleep with you. So perhaps he is just getting off on the possibility.

Actually - OP here, I have been working my ass off because I honestly love what we're building. That's why i just started noticing - I was head down working hard then the tone shifted recently to more playful and now it's all i'm thinking about.

You've already crossed a line with the texts.

Your promotion to VP? Be honest. Do you think this was based solely on your work performance?

The guy must realize that he could lose his job/rep if he does sleep with you. So perhaps he is just getting off on the possibility.

This is a bad idea for both of you.

I read your first sentence and already assumed you were sleeping with him, so I’d say you better find a way to squash this is you want to stay married.

Don’t blow your life up because your flirty boss is trying to get in your pants. You have everything to lose, and very little to gain.

Keep it professional, and limit your time with him outside the office.

I recently started a new high level exec position under a dynamic leader that is pleasantly an excellent and inspiring boss as well as a great person to be around. We’re both early 40’s married w young kids and have a lot in commom interest wise (music, sense of humor etc). I’ve been at this position about 6 months but recently have felt a shift in our relationship - or maybe i’m crazy and imagining it but I am picking up on some levels of chemistry/tension. Lots of texts at all hours (always work related but end up being “chatty”) and weekend check-ins or excuses to join me in cars or at meetings he doesn’t necessarily have to attend. It’s starting to do my head in because I feel like maybe I have feelings too if this is what is happening but I know i’m not the most attractive (i’m ok but do have a 2 year old and have just recently started getting myself back in shape) woman in the office so I am boomeranging from being 100% sure i’m getting vibes to then thinking i’m an idiot.

He just let me know yesterday that i’m being promoted to VP and that he wants us to work more closely on big projects and that i have a lot of future at the company.

I really like working here and and also love my husband very much. I never, ever even considered cheating (or have even looked twice at any other man) in the 7 years we’ve been together so I feel like I’ve been side swipped by all of this the past month or so. What the hell is going on? I keep telling myself to snap out of it and just be happy i’m at a job i love (for once!) and concentrate on my husband and toddler.

Any advice would be helpful. Thanks!