Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had really strict parents, not only could I not date, I couldnt have friends over, couldnt visit friends, couldnt get phone calls or make phone calls. Summers were terrible for me. I will definitely not be passing this on to my daughter.

Did you gguys wild when you went to college??

Meant to say...did you go wild when you went to college??

I partied my way right out of college. Then got married.

Anonymous wrote:My mom would have said she was not strict but old fashioned. We didn't have curfews and could pretty much go out when and where we wanted, but I was never allowed to call or initiate contact with a boy. She said boys should chase girls and if a boy really liked a girl he would pursue whether or not she called back. Pre-high school I was not allowed to choose my clothing and had to wear dresses on any day that wasn't a gym day. Thankfully I grew up in a state where gym was every other day. She was very controlling over our appearance and would book haircuts and pre-arrange for what the cut would look like. My kids are too young to be interested in dating, but they can dress and wear their hair how they like (even though personally I hate the way my tween chooses to).

Ha ha, your mom sounds like my mom! I wasn't forced to wear dresses, but I always had to have on "nice" clothes. She would be horrified by the athleisure trend!

Anonymous wrote:My parents were not very strict. My next door neighbors had VERY strict parents. They could almost never go out-
even to school functions. Mother controlled what they ate and drank and when. They were grounded to their yard for the most trivial infractions.

Oldest child had the most freedoms but he also "made" his own freedoms-- climbing out the window many nights, pretending he was working.... He turned out successful and good family life.

The remaining kids? All completely screwed up-- alcoholics, drug addicts, homelessness.... None seem to speak to their parents.

Be careful.

This was my parents theory. We had important things we needed to do (get good grades, be good people with good values, learn to pick good friends, etc.) but we we were also given a lot of trust and freedom as we "earned" those privileges. Got to wander around the city (NY) from a young age, never had a curfew, got to travel alone, and generally make our own choices as was reasonably fit. Basically, we had NOTHING to rebel against! (OR they wanted to make us think that Could have drank, done drugs, partied, had sex, whatever. We were all total by-the-book good students who basically did nothing wrong and were considered uptight/mature til our mid-twenties. The freedom gave us the opportunity to "own" our own decisions, and our loving parents gave us the guidance to make good ones.

My mom would have said she was not strict but old fashioned. We didn't have curfews and could pretty much go out when and where we wanted, but I was never allowed to call or initiate contact with a boy. She said boys should chase girls and if a boy really liked a girl he would pursue whether or not she called back. Pre-high school I was not allowed to choose my clothing and had to wear dresses on any day that wasn't a gym day. Thankfully I grew up in a state where gym was every other day. She was very controlling over our appearance and would book haircuts and pre-arrange for what the cut would look like. My kids are too young to be interested in dating, but they can dress and wear their hair how they like (even though personally I hate the way my tween chooses to).

My parents were not very strict. My next door neighbors had VERY strict parents. They could almost never go out-
even to school functions. Mother controlled what they ate and drank and when. They were grounded to their yard for the most trivial infractions.

Oldest child had the most freedoms but he also "made" his own freedoms-- climbing out the window many nights, pretending he was working.... He turned out successful and good family life.

The remaining kids? All completely screwed up-- alcoholics, drug addicts, homelessness.... None seem to speak to their parents.

Be careful.

Very strict mother dad was not. Too many rules to list. I broke every single one.

Lord! My dad was very strict, but I knew how much he loved me. However, I didn't like him at all when I was a teenager, but now I love and appreciate him.
Now, we get on the phone and can talk about everything and I mean EVERYTHING..lol
-In the house when the street lights came on
-No sleepovers
-No attending parties at people's homes
-No phone calls after 9
-Bedtime was at 10 (even during HS)
-No hanging out in the malls with friends. We went to the mall as a family.
-No dating in HS (totally broke that one). lol
-Many others...

My parents were very hands on; thus, so were my DH and I (our kids are now in college). We kept a lot of those rules,
but we made some adjustments. I can't tell y'all how much I appreciate the way that I was raised.

no sleepovers
no driving friends
always home for dinner (and then can go out later)
no tank tops (sleeves required, even though little cap sleeves were ok)

Well, the only thing I hated was curfew. I was a good kid. I called once and asked to extend my curfew from 11 to midnight because a group of friends and I were watching a movie. Friends my mom knew and liked. She said no because I could get raped being out so late. I was mad because I wasn’t doing anything bad. Yet my younger brother g T to break curfew all the time with no consequences. And he “was” doing bad things.

So, no strict curfew for my kids. Depends on their honestly and good judgment instead.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had really strict parents, not only could I not date, I couldnt have friends over, couldnt visit friends, couldnt get phone calls or make phone calls. Summers were terrible for me. I will definitely not be passing this on to my daughter.

Did you gguys wild when you went to college??

Meant to say...did you go wild when you went to college??

Anonymous wrote:I had really strict parents, not only could I not date, I couldnt have friends over, couldnt visit friends, couldnt get phone calls or make phone calls. Summers were terrible for me. I will definitely not be passing this on to my daughter.

Did you gguys wild when you went to college??

I had really strict parents, not only could I not date, I couldnt have friends over, couldnt visit friends, couldnt get phone calls or make phone calls. Summers were terrible for me. I will definitely not be passing this on to my daughter.

My parents didn't want me to date in HS, and they discouraged a lot of social activities -- no strict rules per se, but I had to ask them every time I wanted to do something with my friends and they'd say stuff like "why do you want to do that? why do you want to go out so much, just stay home. You don't need to go out this week, you went out last week."

I'm sort of with them on the no-dating (at least until upper HS), but I will be more lenient on the going out. If your grades are good (and they better be GOOD), then you may go out, as long as I know where you are, who you are with, and you are back by X time. Hopefully my talks about the dangers of drinking and drugs before then will have made an impact and they will avoid, though I know I cannot control all access to it.

I grew up in a small town so no one could get away with much of anything and your reputation was very important. There wasn't much underage drinking, sex, etc among the "good" or "cool" kids, the kids who did had the bad reputations. We were much more into youth group, sports, etc. It was just the culture of our town at the time (90's/00's). My husband grew up here in the DC area and basically all kids drank, did drugs, and had sex and it terrifies me to think of my kids going down the same path. My bio kids are still in elem school and I'm not naive, but I am starting to think about what the next few years holds.

I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16, which I actually really see as a positive, especially these days. I had a lot of great friendships growing up and feel like I had more of a chance to be a kid than if I got sucked into dating younger than that. As soon as I turned 16 I started dating one of my good friends and pretty immediately ONLY hung out with him and when he left for college when I was a rising senior I had no friends left! I have a 15YO stepDD who is , in my opinion, way too focused on boys, her looks, her social media, and dating. Her mom allowed her to start dating boys 1:1 at 12 or 13. I just don't get it. She recently broke up with her boyfriend of over a year and is so "lonely" because she wasted all that time with him.

Lived on a street where all the parents kept in constant contact.They always got together somehow to discuss parenting related topics.I was one of the luckier kids on the street for a while.my friend was my next door neighbor and his parents didn't let video games into their house at all (Back when a lot Of people had ataris)So when my friend would come over secretly around 8:00 he would fly to the controllers and stay on until nearly midnight.One day he got caught and my parents blamed me for it and things tightened up instantly.By high school my curfew was 9:00 on weekends and my controllers were out of the room the whole school year.Left the day after my 17th birthday..