PP here - I meant "I have read that younger women are choosing..." (Not "you get women choosing.."

Anonymous wrote:5th grade. My daughter brought it up. She didn’t need it, but everyone else was wearing one. Even if she hadn’t asked I would have offered before middle school (changing for gym class).

That is what I did. I was completely flat chested but I had a few friends that were wearing them. My mom was like...oh...ok... and off we went to Sterns!

Anonymous wrote:I have read that you get women are choosing to go bra-less. If my HS girl didn't want to wear one, I wouldn't make her.

Doesn’t it promote sagging though? The women I knew who went braless in HS and college are so shapeless now.

I guess I wonder, does the development of breasts buds = time for a bra? Or do people wait until they develop more? I will open the lines of communication but wondered when, at what point in development, girls generally started wearing them.

I have read that you get women are choosing to go bra-less. If my HS girl didn't want to wear one, I wouldn't make her.

sports bras and cami

The gym teacher mentioned it in 4th grade because DD was the first to develop breast buds and the other girls were whispering in the changing room. DD was oblivious. I didn’t realize they changed openly or that the other girls were completely flat.

I've been working on getting my DD to wear a bra for FOUR years! Literally. Now that she's going into HS, I'm back to pushing the issue again.

Not saying you should push it in 5th grade, OP. Just pointing out that some girls need a push. I remember seeing a certain clique of girls get bras in 5th. I asked for it in 6th grade to fit in. If your DD is socially conscious (which can be a good thing!), she will probably want to do it when she sees others. If she's like my DD and couldn't give a hoot about socially fitting in (and has always had sensory issues with tight fit clothing -- i.e. never wears leggins), then you might need to push.

I'm HOPING she will wear a bra in HS ... but her MO is to just wear a zippered hoodie ALL THE TIME over her tshirt so she has coverage even when it is 100 degrees. And then that creates another problem! Who knew that socializing our children would be so hard?

I bought a bunch and put them in her drawer and then she started wearing them. We have the same book plus all the It’s Not The series, I let her initiate conversations.

Just ask her if she wants to wear one. If not, tell her that she can tell you when she does want to wear one (it may be 3 months from now). But if she needs one, make her. It's sad to see girls who need a bra who don't wear one.

Thanks, everyone. I don't want to force it. I will just make sure the lines of communication are open. I was worried that I was "supposed" to buy her a bra at the initiation of breast development.

Don’t force it. She might not be ready. Ask her if she has any questions, just like you suggested. I agree that Justice has great first bras, when she asks.

5th grade. My daughter brought it up. She didn’t need it, but everyone else was wearing one. Even if she hadn’t asked I would have offered before middle school (changing for gym class).

Go to Justice. You want the oh so soft one. Let her pick out what she likes.

DD is 10.5 and is just starting to develop breast buds. I recently got her "The Care and Keeping of You," Book 1, for younger girls. Should I start by asking her if she has any questions about the book? And/or tell her that I'm here whenever she wants to talk about when she thinks she might need or want a bra?