Try doing while she's in the bath with really wet hair and tons of conditioner, start from the bottom. Use the wet detangling brush.If you have a really big matted clump, try cutting just some strands and seeing if you can brush it out.
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(I have cut out mats before).

Anonymous wrote:I don't have advice but just want you to know that whenever i see a child with knotted hair i think, "now theres a parent who respects their child's limits, knows which battles are worth fighting and is probably spending their time doing the fun, enriching things that shape a child, rather than putting on a show for the neighbors. " it really makes me smile a little.

Seeing a child with mats in her hair doesn't make me smile.

Use lots of detangling spray, lots of conditioner. Use a detangling brush. Cut out the mats, if necessary.

Also, you could try the Aussie 3 minute miracle. You will still likely have to cut her hair, but it really is helpful at preventing future tangles.

Anonymous wrote:Can special needs parents who have dealt with this issue weigh in with some tips?

This is beyond tangles. I have a 10 year old and I don’t want to cut her hair short or so anything else to stigmatize her further but the fights to brush and detangle her hair are horrendous. Detangling spray is barely helpful and no cry brushes are a joke.

If you don’t have a child with special needs, please spare me the judgments about hygiene, rules, and all the rest.

OP, a pixie cut is going to be way less stigmatizing than matted hair in a 10 year old girl. MY DS is 10 and has a nervous habit of twirling the hair on the top of his head when it gets long enough to do so. He stiffens his whole body and toe walks when he does this. At age 5 no one cared. At 10 we keep it short even though his hair looks "better" a little longer.

You could try detangling spray. Work from the bottom in very small sections. Use a comb with wide teeth. When you hit a tangle, hold the hair above the tangle spot so that you don’t pull her hair while you comb.

Will she let you braid it overnight?

My daughter also has relatively thin, straight hair that is prone to knots - and big tears when I try to brush it. Our solution has been that while she is in the bath/shower, she puts conditioner in and then uses a no tangle brush - then rinses and again brushes before she gets out of the shower. Then, ideally, I use the hair dryer on her but as she hates it, I just try to let it dry before bed.

PP- also recommend he went brush. I have a small water spray bottle with a few drops of conditioner and use that when I comb

Are you able to come after a bath/shower with conditioner? I keep hair braided for sleep and swim and that helps keep the knots down. Also frequent trims help here.

A thick leave in conditioner and use the Wet brush to get the knots out with the conditioner in and hair still wet. Hold the hair above the mat so it doesn’t tug on the scalp.

I cut my DDs into a bob. I know you said you didn’t want to cut it but that’s what I did.

Anonymous wrote:I don't have advice but just want you to know that whenever i see a child with knotted hair i think, "now theres a parent who respects their child's limits, knows which battles are worth fighting and is probably spending their time doing the fun, enriching things that shape a child, rather than putting on a show for the neighbors. " it really makes me smile a little.

Thanks

Relatively thin, straight hair. Very averse to brushing.

I don't have advice but just want you to know that whenever i see a child with knotted hair i think, "now theres a parent who respects their child's limits, knows which battles are worth fighting and is probably spending their time doing the fun, enriching things that shape a child, rather than putting on a show for the neighbors. " it really makes me smile a little.

What kind of hair does she have - thin, really thick?

Can special needs parents who have dealt with this issue weigh in with some tips?

This is beyond tangles. I have a 10 year old and I don’t want to cut her hair short or so anything else to stigmatize her further but the fights to brush and detangle her hair are horrendous. Detangling spray is barely helpful and no cry brushes are a joke.

If you don’t have a child with special needs, please spare me the judgments about hygiene, rules, and all the rest.