Anonymous wrote:My wife knows her due to activities but don't see each other much if at all. Also DW doesn't like her thinks she's an arrangant b* (but she really isn't).

Defending her is not a good sign. Trust your wife's judgement. She's sensing something is up. Maybe it's just because you are into her and wife is trying to balance that, but slap yourself in the face for being dumb about this and move on. Yes, there are things you are attracted to about this woman. That's it. Move on.

Enjoy the crush just don’t act on it. Don’t tell your wife. I had a major crush on a soccer Dad; eventually it will fizzle out.

Yes and imagine your kids seeing u eyeing her. Really talk about your wife. And your wife hates her for a reason. Trust your wife.

My wife knows her due to activities but don't see each other much if at all. Also DW doesn't like her thinks she's an arrangant b* (but she really isn't).

Introducing her to you wife might work even better.

Anonymous wrote:I definitely think talking. About / mentioning your wife frequently (and gratuitously) is a very good idea

The guy I have a crush on does this all the time.
What a kill joy.

You can’t enjoy the fantasy of her sucking your duck and riding you like a champ but have self control irl? Sad.

I definitely think talking. About / mentioning your wife frequently (and gratuitously) is a very good idea

Anonymous wrote:Oh Christ. You’re allowed to have a crush or flirt a little, but nothing else. Don’t make a dumb fleeting attraction into some dramatic scenario.

This. I had a boss who was divorced multiple times due to affairs, as an older and wiser person he succinctly put it, “the f*ing you get is not worth the f*ing you get.”

Oh Christ. You’re allowed to have a crush or flirt a little, but nothing else. Don’t make a dumb fleeting attraction into some dramatic scenario.

Imagine your kids lives being devastated, you being forced to move out of your house, and you spending tens of thousands of dollars on lawyers. Is that enough cold water?

Fer chrissake don't tell your wife you have the hots for this woman. Stupid idea.

You're not getting any positive signals or encouragement from this woman, are you? If she's not inviting a move, it is easy not to make one.

Talk about your wife whenever you interact with her.

Go out of your way NOT to interact with her. Sometimes the people we like the most are the ines we have to stay away from. I had a coworker like this. We both were married, both insanely attracted to each other to the point that the chemistry was out of this world... so we would see each other at group events. And that's it. Even when we traveled together, we wouldn't do meals together. Any one else I travel with, I always hang out and eat with. But not him.

And finally... tell your wife. This is the best most certain way to affair proof your marriage. Don't make it into something it isn't. Just be like "hey, I had a weird dream about Larla, and now when I see her it's strange." Trust me, your wife will make sure you dislike Larla after this.

Anonymous wrote:imagine her pooping.

Unless you're into that.

imagine her pooping.

we have kids in the same activities so see each other once a week or so. do not want an affair, but need to 'put the brake on' because i've been thinking about her too much lately. is talking about my wife the way to go? other suggestions?