boundaries - boundaries - boundaries

My Jewish Family is the same. DH finds it way over the top and strange.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I'm married to an Iranian (though not Persian) guy. His family is not super typical "Iranian" in most ways, but there's a lot of displays of intense emotion, along with a need for "closeness" that can be oppressive.

Genuinely curious what you mean? They are all Persian.

Um no. Perhaps you have heard of Kurds for example? Being Iranian means you live within the borders of Iran. It doesn’t mean you belong to any particular ethnic or cultural group.

My Iranian friends (a married couple with kids) greet my son with endearing enthusiasm. Oh, Larlo! Handsome boy! Let me look at you! Hugs, grabbing his face in their hands, the works. I always thought it was more because they are the only members of their families in the US, and naturally seek out a more family like atmosphere where they can.

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of hair. You'll be vacuuming constantly.

I like you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I'm married to an Iranian (though not Persian) guy. His family is not super typical "Iranian" in most ways, but there's a lot of displays of intense emotion, along with a need for "closeness" that can be oppressive.

Genuinely curious what you mean? They are all Persian.

No, only just over 50% of Iranians are ethnically Persian. Approximately 25% are Turkish/Azeri (although there has been a ton of intermixing), smaller populations of Kurds, Armenians, Assyrians, Arabs, Balouch, etc.

http://iranprimer.usip.org/blog/2013/sep/03/iran-minorities-2-ethnic-diversity

Not sure if this is the case of the poster but some Iranians ethnically define them as not-Persian (for example Turkish minorities etc)

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I'm married to an Iranian (though not Persian) guy. His family is not super typical "Iranian" in most ways, but there's a lot of displays of intense emotion, along with a need for "closeness" that can be oppressive.

Genuinely curious what you mean? They are all Persian.

I am married to the a Persian, I could have written your post. So yes, a lot of it is cultural. When I had a daughter first it was a drama because I was not having a boy. After ‘princess’ was born my mil was always around and very overbearing. Every sneeze of my daughter was a big family drama, every piece of kebab that she refused was a sign that she was starving. I talked with my husband about all this pressure that was driving me crazy, he handled the situation well and put some boundaries to protect our sanity (if it comes from the beloved son mama joon will listen..). So be patient and let your husband take the lead with your inlaws.

Drama.

my american family is the same way. not Persian but love our kids nieces and nephews more than anything or anyone else.

Yes, I'm married to an Iranian (though not Persian) guy. His family is not super typical "Iranian" in most ways, but there's a lot of displays of intense emotion, along with a need for "closeness" that can be oppressive.

There's a lot of hair. You'll be vacuuming constantly.

Persians are VERY family oriented. They probably find it odd and need to get used the fact that they do not see your DD daily or at least weekly.

And they are very dramatic.

I grew up in a heavily Persian area (Los Angeles).

I’m midwestern (reserved in emotions and practical) and married a Persian man. Especially since Dd was born, the over the top (to me) emotional expressions from my inlaws are driving me bonkers. Every time we talk (regularly!) the convo starts with a teary “it’s been sooooo long since we’ve seen you!!” The frequently refer to the day Dd was born as “the single best moment of their lives” and thank her for it. They are always saying things like “nothing is too good for our princess” (referrring to dd) and that she is the smartest / most special / happiest / best tempered / etc etc child ever. I could go on and on.

My husband says this is just Persian culture and they haven’t actually totally lost their minds obsessing over her and thinking she’s perfect. Is this the norm? I try to role with it either way bc what can you do and am more just curious of the tears and over the topness (to me) is the norm in Persian culture.