Will he sit on the toilet wearing the pull up? After a few weeks of that, I then started cutting holes out of the pullup.

Search the archives on this one-- my ADHD child went through this until age 5 and I got a lot of names of folks to talk to-- I can't recall all off hand. Most did phone consults. For us, it's unclear if it was anxiety or what, we wound up use suppositories for a few days and it worked. Was far from pleasant or ideal, but when everyone was offering timed sits and behavior charts that didn't work we tried it.

Anonymous wrote:Thank you, PP. Was your friend's child (who needed the headphones) autistic? What kind of therapist did they use? That is exactly what I'm trying to find - a person who can actually help us figure out exactly what aspect of the bathroom/toilet that is bothersome and to find a way to work around that. I really want to do this before he starts 1st grade next month!

Yes, she is autistic. They were at a SN school, so she had a lot of support. It was awful b/c withholding caused many painful UTIs. Locally you could try ivymount. They have in home behavioral services. You could also try little leaves in ss.

Try Squatty potty, one of my kids was like that round 3, no SN though for that one, but when his teacher suggested Squatty potty, I got it right away and it helped him go. Although at 7, going number two is not his favorite thing, I think there is some kind of fear associated with it, so I always need to remind him to go until this day!

Take him to the store and see if he will pick a new toilet seat. Is your toilet too high? Maybe swap it out for a lower one? Bribery - favorite place to eat, go, toy, stay up late...

Thank you, PP. Was your friend's child (who needed the headphones) autistic? What kind of therapist did they use? That is exactly what I'm trying to find - a person who can actually help us figure out exactly what aspect of the bathroom/toilet that is bothersome and to find a way to work around that. I really want to do this before he starts 1st grade next month!

Well it sounds like the specialists are telling you what you already know. You need to find someone who can help you develop a plan.

I don't have a specific recommendation but a friend of mine whose child refused to use the toilet, the therapist they worked with figured out that it was the noise that bothered her. Eventually she successfully could use any toilet while wearing headphones. They don't live locally but I'm sure you could find a local therapist.

At this point building up comfortability with the toilet. Standing in the bathroom for 30 seconds. Building up to sitting on the toilet clothes on, etc. maybe pooping in his pull up in the bathroom eventually on the toilet.

Headphones might help if he doesn't like the sound of poop falling in. Also he might be constipated and it just hurts more to sit. A squatty potty might help. Also plenty of water and fiber in the diet.

He doesn't like to even sit on the potty closed with all his clothes on - kind of an aversion to toilets in general. He never even would sit on the little plastic ones on the ground. He always wanted a diaper on and generally refused to poop in the bathroom. Now he is too big for the little potties. He will go in his room to poop after we help him put on a pull up. The reason we are not forcing him to sit on the toilet and giving him a pull up is that it is too traumatic for him and he will withhold his stool which he did in the past when we tried potty-training him when he was 2yo and then again at age 3-4yo. He ended up very constipated and required medical treatment for the constipation. We keep trying and have consulted multiple specialists - most attribute it to his autism and say its not that uncommon in children with ASD. No one has given us a good plan to get him to use a toilet for pooping. We are glad that he poops every day now, and we don't want to go back down the route of stool withholding, but he is way too old to not be sitting on the toilet!

No clue if this would work, but..

Try covering the toilet seat with pull up material. Maybe adult diapers or puppy training weewee pads.
See if he will use the potty then. If he does, let him keep going for a long time...weeks? 2 months?
When he's comfortable and used to that, put a teeny hole in the middle. No bigger than a pencil. Let that go for a good long time too. Eventually, start to make slightly bigger holes.

I can only think of 3 reasons he would avoid the potty.. the flush noise, fear of falling in or the water splashing on him.

If it's not the flush noise, maybe its the fear of falling in.
You might also try a "will it flush? Is it smaller than my butt?" Demonstration. Maybe get a a few cheap playground balls that are smaller than his butt but not small enough to flush down and show him that he cant fit down the pipe.

Im sure you have already tried having him sit with his pants on or with the seat down just to get used to it?

Will he poop on a portable potty? The small ones for toddlers?

We told him he can have the ipad only when he sits on the potty so right now he has no ipad time, but he doesn't care enough to sit on the potty. We have the soft toilet insert on the seat and a rest for his feet (the squatty potty) so as to make it as comfy as possible...still he won't sit.

Can you limit ipad/tablet use to sitting on the toilet? Or, after a poop. Different kind of toilet seat - the padded ones are more comfortable?

6yo boy with ASD has been out of diapers since age 4. He knows when he has to pee and poop and pees in toilet, but he insists on pull up to poop. If pull ups are refused, he will just hold it in and gets terribly constipated. He can not be convinced to sit on toilet, and there is no way to force him to do this. We have tried every bribe/reward system, etc. Any suggestions? He wears underwear and never has accidents even while sleeping. He is verbal, but he will not give any reason as to why he will not sit on toilet. He just says he cannot and cries. He becomes anxious and upset when we have tried an ABA-type approach so that too has backfired.