Have gf take your place on the trip and your friend can reimburse you for any expense like change of tickets to her, etc. both your friend and his new gf sound lame.

ugh this sucks. I am sorry you are in this situation OP. I wouldn't want to go on this trip anymore, but, assuming you already put money into it. Is it possible to cancel on your end (given $$ invested)?

Feels like there is no good solution unless you think you can be comfortable with gf coming.


Personally, I think trip should go on as planned (without gf) but it was unclear if your friend was still willing to go without her understanding she would be upset.

I'd either cancel, or bring another friend or family member with me.

Anonymous wrote:No way should you say yes. This is a GUYS' trip not a 3rd wheel trip. She sounds like a controlling, insecure nutcase - she's "not comfortable" with her brand new boyfriend fulfilling a commitment he made before he even knew her? I would respond with something like, "Dude, are you f*%*^ crazy? I'm sure she is a lovely woman and I look forward to spending time with the two of you at some point, but there is no way I'm going on this trip as a 3rd wheel." Don't feel guilty - just help him see the absolute absurdity of his ask. If she is this controlling after only 3 dates, God help this guy if he marries her. Your friendship will be toast.

And I can't believe people above are telling you that you should let her come.

It’s not a guys trip. OP is female.

Cancel the trip. If the gf comes, you will be the third wheel and not have a good time. Who needs that on vacation.

No way should you say yes. This is a GUYS' trip not a 3rd wheel trip. She sounds like a controlling, insecure nutcase - she's "not comfortable" with her brand new boyfriend fulfilling a commitment he made before he even knew her? I would respond with something like, "Dude, are you f*%*^ crazy? I'm sure she is a lovely woman and I look forward to spending time with the two of you at some point, but there is no way I'm going on this trip as a 3rd wheel." Don't feel guilty - just help him see the absolute absurdity of his ask. If she is this controlling after only 3 dates, God help this guy if he marries her. Your friendship will be toast.

And I can't believe people above are telling you that you should let her come.

I'd go and plan to be alone on the trip. If he and his new GF go at the same time, you can perhaps plan to meet them for dinner one night and see if you want to spend more time.

I wouldn't let this stop me from going, but as much as he has a right to change the dynamics of it, so do you. You would be the third wheel to a new and fresh relationship in a location that I will assume can be made romantic - no thanks. Even if I weren't attracted, I still wouldn't want to be that person.

Go - have fun and enjoy. Just plan to be solo for most of it.

I would cancel the trip.

Anonymous wrote:Can you bring along another friend, too? That would keep you from feeling like a third wheel if the situation gets weird.

At that point it’s better to plan a trip with the other friend.

Traveling with one other person is great. It’s easy to negotiate where to eat, what to do, etc. Traveling with four people, 2 of which don’t know each other sucks. Just cancel and plan another trip with a more reliable friend.

Can you bring along another friend, too? That would keep you from feeling like a third wheel if the situation gets weird.

I think you should go. No, it's not the trip you imagined or planned but he's a good friend and either this person will stay important (so you want to defuse any potential tension/jealousies) or she won't be important, but your good friend will remember your willingness to help him out. I think this falls in sh*t you do for your friends.

It's not his fault; you planned the trip right around when he met his new gf and he didn't know how things would turn out with her. I don't think it's fair to blame him for "the situation" he put you in. It could have happened to either one of you.

I would just go on the trip and try to have a good time. Plan some solo activities because they will probably want some couple time. They've only met up in person three times, so in all reality, their relationship probably won't last. Who someone is in real life vs. the front they put forward via text are completely different. One day you two will probably laugh over the situation.

What a drag! Is there any way you can bow out and have the gf take the trip instead? I agree with you that you will be the third wheel if the gf comes along.

threesome

I need some advice on how to handle a situation with my best guy friend. Guy friend and I work together and have become really good friends over the last 4 years. We've both been single (him more than I) a decent amount of that time, but our friendship has never gotten even remotely close to being any thing other than friendship. I love him, but the thought is completely revolting to me.

Guy friend and I have traveled quite a bit because, well, we both wanted to and needed travel buddies. We sometimes go with another friend of ours. In June, we decided to plan an international trip in September. We both have been very excited. However, guy friend did not tell me until last week that he met a girl and started a long-distance relationship with her sometime in late spring. From what I understand it was mostly a texting thing for a few months, but they now have seen each other in person about three times and he is head over heels.

Yesterday, guy friend says that new GF isn't super comfortable with our trip plans. He then asks me if its OK if he invites her to come with us.

I don't know what to do. I fully understand the awkwardness of the timing of how this has all worked out, but I had no idea about this girl till last week. I've never met her. I've paid a lot of money for a trip and I'm not sure I want to go with someone that I will maybe meet once before spending a week with. I don't want to be sudden third wheel on a couple's trip. I'm upset he's put me in this position, I was so excited for this trip. I feel like I'm going to be the a-hole if I say no, even though he told me it was totally fine for me to say no. But I feel like this trip is not going to be at all what I planned if she comes.

Does anyone have any good advice on how to handle this one? I've asked him to not say anything to her yet because I need time to think about it and am feeling a bit uncomfortable about the situation he's put me in, and I think that made him upset.