Op here. My girlfriend isn’t high maintence. She has never said she needs a ring of X value. She mentioned to her friend that she loves Asscher cut style rings, and when I did some looking, a good quality diamond and carat is expensive. Asscher cut sits lower, so 1.5-2.5 is ideal for that cut, which is expensive. She also like round. I don’t want to get her something she won’t like, but $30+ on a diamond is nuts. For reference, I make $250k and she makes $130k.

“I was planning on spending X. We can either find something you like in that price range or you can come up with the difference. If this doesn’t work for you then maybe we have different outlooks and values when it comes to money. And we might be a good match long term”

And I say this as a woman

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$30-40k is a crazy amount. Don’t ever spend more than $5-10k.

+1

$5k is cheap. I think $10-20k is more reasonable for a good quality diamond.

Dump the girlfriend and find one who doesn’t expect you to waste thousands of dollars while you’re trying to save up for, like, a roof over her head in the future.

OP sounds financially smart, girlfriend not so much. This is just the beginning, OP. Decide if you can put up with this every time.

Try to find the diamond first. That's what DH did, different places for the diamond and for the ring.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$30-40k is a crazy amount. Don’t ever spend more than $5-10k.

+1

This. Most women don't want to wear a ring everyday that is valued over 15k. The rings also resell for a fraction of their purchase cost.

If she insists on a 30-40k ring, think about pawn shops and jewelry resellers. Also, you may want to rethink some things if she insists on such an expensive ring.

If her was looking, maybe next time go with she.

Anonymous wrote:If these women are going to act high maintenance over a ring and making a man spend more than he can afford,
then my advice is to run. Marriage can be very very hard even if you are not married to a demanding diva.

Agree. If she is like this now, it will not change. Homes, cars, vacations, clothing, etc. she will be pushing for the most expensive option every time. Caveat Emptor.

If these women are going to act high maintenance over a ring and making a man spend more than he can afford,
then my advice is to run. Marriage can be very very hard even if you are not married to a demanding diva.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$30-40k is a crazy amount. Don’t ever spend more than $5-10k.

+1

$5k is cheap. I think $10-20k is more reasonable for a good quality diamond.

Anonymous wrote:$30-40k is a crazy amount. Don’t ever spend more than $5-10k.

+1

Anonymous wrote:G/F was initially fixated on a 2 carat ring. As you probably know the price of the stone increases substantially once you get past around 1.5 carats. I had several discussions with her about both the price point and that the size of the stone probably wouldn't look good and she eventually came around. She's very happy with the ring we ended up getting, I think the stone was around 1.5 carats or maybe a little more.

What was the cut and the price?

$30-40k is a crazy amount. Don’t ever spend more than $5-10k.

G/F was initially fixated on a 2 carat ring. As you probably know the price of the stone increases substantially once you get past around 1.5 carats. I had several discussions with her about both the price point and that the size of the stone probably wouldn't look good and she eventually came around. She's very happy with the ring we ended up getting, I think the stone was around 1.5 carats or maybe a little more.

My girlfriend and I have been discussing getting engaged. Her and her best friend ( recently enagaged) were looking at ring magazines. My girlfriend told her about a specific type of ring she hopes to have. It’s her favorite. To find a good quality diamond in that cut is very expensive. I make a good salary, but spending $30-40l on a ring is extravagant. I would rather use that as a down payment for a house. How do I keep her in mind, but go for a cheaper option? Will she be disappointed if it’s not the ring she likes?