Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you think your 19 year old can decide for himself if he has time to work and how much?

It sounds like he's going to live at home. Some parents charge adult children rent. I know mine did.

We do not plan to support him financially for all his expenses. We’ve agreed to pay for his tuition and books. He’s living at home. We don’t want him to rely on us for money. He will not be joining any sports. He’s interested in a frat, but we still think he should work if he joins one. We’ve also discussed an internship. If it’s unpaid, then most likely we won’t require him to work. It’s not about him “deciding.” If he does work, well expect him to pay for his phone and car, clothes and other things he may want. I guess it also depends on how much he’ll make.

Wow, if you can afford to help, why wouldn't you? I don't get parents like that. Work or internship summers, school during the school year.

Just make sure he's not a doormat. My niece is accommodating to a fault. Whenever someone called off and her boss asked her to work, she always said yes and went in. It eventually started to cause her grades to slip as she was putting in more time at her job than studying. She had to see a campus counselor and start therapy to learn to say no and stand up for herself.

There's no point in working to pay for things in college if it's going to cause them to get Cs or below, which sometimes aren't accepted by their programs of study.

I echo PPs who say an on-campus job. On-campus jobs will be sensitive to things like final exam periods, and etc. So definitely start him there next year. But overall he'll be fine. Single mothers graduate from school. Saw that one graduated from Harvard Law this week.

Anonymous wrote:Wait and see how his first semester pans out, OP. Don't put more pressure on him.

That’s what we’re doing. I mentioned in my post that we are thinking of requiring him to work his 2nd year forward

Wait and see how his first semester pans out, OP. Don't put more pressure on him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you think your 19 year old can decide for himself if he has time to work and how much?

It sounds like he's going to live at home. Some parents charge adult children rent. I know mine did.

We do not plan to support him financially for all his expenses. We’ve agreed to pay for his tuition and books. He’s living at home. We don’t want him to rely on us for money. He will not be joining any sports. He’s interested in a frat, but we still think he should work if he joins one. We’ve also discussed an internship. If it’s unpaid, then most likely we won’t require him to work. It’s not about him “deciding.” If he does work, well expect him to pay for his phone and car, clothes and other things he may want. I guess it also depends on how much he’ll make.

My son works while he goes to school. We expect him to pay his gas, his portion of the car insurance, his entertainment and his haircuts. Minimum wage doesn't go very far.

Op here. And yes that’s why we won’t require him to pay for big things like his books or even pay us rent. I worked throughout college and I actually would got good grades. I graduated with a 3.8 and only got 2 C’s all four years. I would work about 20-25 hours per week my first 3 years and my last year I worked about 30-35. DH worked full time the last two years and he manages to get all A’s and 3 B’s his undergrad. We just don’t want him to think he can have a free ride from mommy and daddy forever

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you think your 19 year old can decide for himself if he has time to work and how much?

It sounds like he's going to live at home. Some parents charge adult children rent. I know mine did.

We do not plan to support him financially for all his expenses. We’ve agreed to pay for his tuition and books. He’s living at home. We don’t want him to rely on us for money. He will not be joining any sports. He’s interested in a frat, but we still think he should work if he joins one. We’ve also discussed an internship. If it’s unpaid, then most likely we won’t require him to work. It’s not about him “deciding.” If he does work, well expect him to pay for his phone and car, clothes and other things he may want. I guess it also depends on how much he’ll make.

My son works while he goes to school. We expect him to pay his gas, his portion of the car insurance, his entertainment and his haircuts. Minimum wage doesn't go very far.

Well, my oldest is also just starting college this fall, and we have the same thoughts as you--concentrate on school at first but after that consider a job.

I will tell you that I did work while going to college (mid 90's) and it was HARD and it definitely affected my grades negatively. What started as a part time job bagging groceries at the local grocery store turned into a promotion to a different department with more (and more erratic) hours. At that point, my parents were not completely supporting me financially (they paid for tuition and half of my rent, but I needed to pay for books, food, the other half of the rent, and all personal expenses like toothpaste, clothing, etc.) so I needed the money. I was working between 40-48 hours per week and some of these were graveyard shifts. Because of lack of sleep, stress, etc I was constantly tired, sick, and my grades were mostly Bs and Cs with an occasional A.

After about 2 years of that I realized it couldn't continue and I quit the grocery job and got a part time job on campus. I worked as a cashier at the school food court and although the money was terrible (minimum wage for about 20 hours per week) it was a GREAT experience for a college student. My grades improved INCREDIBLY (all A's except one B) and I just felt like I was more a part of the "college experience" than I did when I was working at the grocery store, where most of my co-workers were not college students.
Of course, the downside was the lower pay, which meant I ended up putting a lot of expenses on credit card.

So, given my experience, we plan to encourage our son to get a part time (no more than 20 hours, preferably closer to 15) job ON CAMPUS starting 2nd semester of freshman year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you think your 19 year old can decide for himself if he has time to work and how much?

It sounds like he's going to live at home. Some parents charge adult children rent. I know mine did.

We do not plan to support him financially for all his expenses. We’ve agreed to pay for his tuition and books. He’s living at home. We don’t want him to rely on us for money. He will not be joining any sports. He’s interested in a frat, but we still think he should work if he joins one. We’ve also discussed an internship. If it’s unpaid, then most likely we won’t require him to work. It’s not about him “deciding.” If he does work, well expect him to pay for his phone and car, clothes and other things he may want. I guess it also depends on how much he’ll make.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you think your 19 year old can decide for himself if he has time to work and how much?

It sounds like he's going to live at home. Some parents charge adult children rent. I know mine did.

I did not, but earnings were not an issue. I actually insisted they NOT work during their first year. Both always worked full time each summer.

I'd see how it goes, how he handles the work load, is there enough time for work, if so, how many hours, etc. Time will tell. If he's working on schoolwork/class time for 6 hours a day and playing video games 5 hours a day, then perhaps a job makes sense. Jobs are out there, so no need to decide until you can assess how he does in college.

Don’t you think your 19 year old can decide for himself if he has time to work and how much?

My kids did not, but one was a athlete and the other was heavily involved in an activity. BUT, they both worked non stop in the summer and saved almost all of their money.

My son will be attending a local university in the fall. It’s about a 20-30 min commute depending on traffic. So far he’s registered for 15 units. My husband and I Were discussing whether or not he should work while he’s going to school. So far we’ve agreed that his first year should be solely focused on his studies. However, we would like him to work his 2nd year forward.
Both my husband and I worked while we did our undergrad mainly only bc our parents didn’t want to provide for us financially anymore.
Parents, did your kids work while in college/university? If so, how many hours? Did it affect their grades? We’re thinking that he would be better off working part time if he does work.