Anonymous wrote:I would be so proud of him for going back! Way to persevere! And, now he knows what to work on for next time.

Yes. I think you are doing a good job of downplaying the tryouts.

I always used to tell my kids it was a bunch of scrimmages--go have fun. I was not one of the many parents leaning over the kid before they went out telling them not to pass, be very aggressive, etc--with tension coming out the top of their heads.

These kids are young. You want them to like to play, not anxious that they are going to upset dad.

At this point maybe the best thing to do is emphasize to your DS that it doesn't matter at all whether he makes a team or not and that the second and third tryouts are basically just two chances to play some extra soccer beyond his rec practices. In other words, these are special, privileged hours when wins and losses aren't on the line and when the only thing that's important is the experience of playing the game, potentially on a nice field with good coaches. All of that may be impossible to convince him of, but I do think it's a good idea to continue with the tryouts, as you said, so that he has a a different experience to dislodge the unhappy first tryout from his brain. At the subsequent tryouts, maybe give him something simple to focus on such as "go hard to the ball whenever it's within 15 feet."

Signed,
Former anxiety-plagued travel soccer player who scored an own goal with his back at a do-or-die tryout 25 years ago (and still played in college, if I'm bragging)

I would be so proud of him for going back! Way to persevere! And, now he knows what to work on for next time.

i am the PP about the 3 tryouts, if he isn't up to par, ask the coach if he will allow a practice player. many people don't think that way but if they want extra players at practice it is a cheap way to get great training. I would not contact the coach to say johnny was anxious didn't play well can he have a redo.

No, I'm not considering doing the bolded at all.

Thanks to everyone for the suggestions.

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Contact the coaches and have your son practice with the team/club age-group outside of the tryout process. It's getting late in the spring season so there may not be many of those opportunities left.

I wouldn't sweat it too much. Many clubs will find a team for your player especially after the first check clears.

I really wish we'd stop saying that. At U9 and U10, the bigger clubs typically have twice as many kids trying out as they have spots available. No checks can change the basic math.

Yes, you could race around to a smaller club. Not sure if it's still the case with the merger, but Great Falls used to be pretty wide-open. Maybe Cugini, FCBescola, PAC, some other smaller club. That may or may not work.

But let's quit telling parents, "oh, anyone can play travel." It's not always true.

No it is pretty much true. Big clubs are not terribly selective, they simply find the suitable placement for the kid. They will continue to add teams as long as a basic level of talent supports another team. Arlington and Loudoun will go up to 6 teams deep if they need to. If the kid can play soccer he will find a travel team.

100 kids. 44 spaces.

At Arlington, with six teams, maybe 120-150 kids for 66 spaces.

Plenty of kids who can play soccer don't make travel teams, at least not at the big clubs. (And plenty of kids who CAN'T play soccer DO make travel teams. Tryouts aren't perfect.)

Arlington had less kids than you put there. They were holding post-tryout sessions. The girls' side even less. Most kids could find a spot and that is just one Club. You can drive anywhere and find a Club willing to take a kid. It's the 'drive' that is the issue.

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Contact the coaches and have your son practice with the team/club age-group outside of the tryout process. It's getting late in the spring season so there may not be many of those opportunities left.

I wouldn't sweat it too much. Many clubs will find a team for your player especially after the first check clears.

I really wish we'd stop saying that. At U9 and U10, the bigger clubs typically have twice as many kids trying out as they have spots available. No checks can change the basic math.

Yes, you could race around to a smaller club. Not sure if it's still the case with the merger, but Great Falls used to be pretty wide-open. Maybe Cugini, FCBescola, PAC, some other smaller club. That may or may not work.

But let's quit telling parents, "oh, anyone can play travel." It's not always true.

At U10--our Big Club--6 teams--actually was sending out emails and fliers after tryouts because they didn't get enough players. We noticed a much lower turnout at many of the tryouts in the area this year.

i am the PP about the 3 tryouts, if he isn't up to par, ask the coach if he will allow a practice player. many people don't think that way but if they want extra players at practice it is a cheap way to get great training. I would not contact the coach to say johnny was anxious didn't play well can he have a redo.

Anonymous wrote:

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Contact the coaches and have your son practice with the team/club age-group outside of the tryout process. It's getting late in the spring season so there may not be many of those opportunities left.

I wouldn't sweat it too much. Many clubs will find a team for your player especially after the first check clears.

I really wish we'd stop saying that. At U9 and U10, the bigger clubs typically have twice as many kids trying out as they have spots available. No checks can change the basic math.

Yes, you could race around to a smaller club. Not sure if it's still the case with the merger, but Great Falls used to be pretty wide-open. Maybe Cugini, FCBescola, PAC, some other smaller club. That may or may not work.

But let's quit telling parents, "oh, anyone can play travel." It's not always true.

No it is pretty much true. Big clubs are not terribly selective, they simply find the suitable placement for the kid. They will continue to add teams as long as a basic level of talent supports another team. Arlington and Loudoun will go up to 6 teams deep if they need to. If the kid can play soccer he will find a travel team.

Not in Montgomery County. There are tons of kids who don't make travel teams, including the big guys like Bethesda.

Don't contact the coach. There is a reason they do 3 tryouts, the first is basically a throw out tryout, anyone can be really good or bad because of nerves, especially at a young age like that. Coaches know that, that is why there are 3. The second one is the real tryout. the 3rd is to put players they think will make it together and see how they play.

A lot of U10 kids, including my own DS, are going through the same anxiety this month.

I would point out that many, many other kids won't make a travel team, and that there are a lot of other competitive teams out there for him to select from. I would commend him on his perseverance!

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Contact the coaches and have your son practice with the team/club age-group outside of the tryout process. It's getting late in the spring season so there may not be many of those opportunities left.

I wouldn't sweat it too much. Many clubs will find a team for your player especially after the first check clears.

I really wish we'd stop saying that. At U9 and U10, the bigger clubs typically have twice as many kids trying out as they have spots available. No checks can change the basic math.

Yes, you could race around to a smaller club. Not sure if it's still the case with the merger, but Great Falls used to be pretty wide-open. Maybe Cugini, FCBescola, PAC, some other smaller club. That may or may not work.

But let's quit telling parents, "oh, anyone can play travel." It's not always true.

No it is pretty much true. Big clubs are not terribly selective, they simply find the suitable placement for the kid. They will continue to add teams as long as a basic level of talent supports another team. Arlington and Loudoun will go up to 6 teams deep if they need to. If the kid can play soccer he will find a travel team.

We went through the same thing at the beginning of May with my U10 boy as well. The first day was an absolute disaster due to stress/anxiety. We did continue with the second and third tryouts and he did do better. He ended up getting an offer for their C team but we opted to go to a smaller club with only one team per age group, which I feel is a better for us as a family (at least for now) and is more likely to give him more attention/development than he would get on a lower-level team at a bigger club. (FWIW, I have no illusions about pro soccer or scholarships for my son, so my basis for selecting which club was right for us is probably very different from that of others on this board.)

In terms of supporting my son, we talked alot about what went right, what went wrong (he admitted he underestimated how difficult it would be) and also how to power through when the going gets tough (he also admitted that he gave up midway through the first day, which I already knew just from his body language). He set himself a goal to try out for the big club again next year with the idea of making at least B team, which I like because if nothing else it gives him something to work toward and cements the concept of continuous improvement. Lastly I pointed out to him even professional soccer players have bad days. He also learned a little humility.

Good luck. It is hard to watch them struggle but they will learn so much from the experience.

Contact the coaches and have your son practice with the team/club age-group outside of the tryout process. It's getting late in the spring season so there may not be many of those opportunities left.

I wouldn't sweat it too much. Many clubs will find a team for your player especially after the first check clears.

Anonymous wrote:My son (rising U10) did the first of three travel soccer tryouts yesterday, and did just terrible. He loves soccer, but has issues with anxiety and just choked, which was really upsetting for him. His performance was about 10 times weaker than his usual performance in a rec game. I pretty much know he will not be offered a spot on any team next year now, which is totally fine - he doesn't belong on travel soccer right now if he can't play under pressure because of anxiety, and he can keep working on these issues and try again next year. DS wants to go through with the other two sessions, and try to do better, which I think makes sense, even though it will probably not result in him making a team this year, because he should follow through with they tryouts since he committed to them. I guess I am just looking for some advice on what I can say or do to support him in this situation.

I would say to him that it's a process and to focus on a tiny bit of improvement every day. He's young so if he improves just a little bit each week by the time he's 16, he would have improved a lot! I would also get him playing more soccer. I'm not an anxiety expert but my son is VERY shy and I feel like he's most comfortable when he's confident. You son will be confidence by having more and more experiences playing soccer. I think attending the final two tryouts is a great start. Again, focus on improving at each one. Due some summer camps/clinics. Try to find some pick up games. Kick the ball around with just you and him. All of these touches will build his confidence and thus reduce his anxiety...I hope at least. Good luck.

My son (rising U10) did the first of three travel soccer tryouts yesterday, and did just terrible. He loves soccer, but has issues with anxiety and just choked, which was really upsetting for him. His performance was about 10 times weaker than his usual performance in a rec game. I pretty much know he will not be offered a spot on any team next year now, which is totally fine - he doesn't belong on travel soccer right now if he can't play under pressure because of anxiety, and he can keep working on these issues and try again next year. DS wants to go through with the other two sessions, and try to do better, which I think makes sense, even though it will probably not result in him making a team this year, because he should follow through with they tryouts since he committed to them. I guess I am just looking for some advice on what I can say or do to support him in this situation.