Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Great advice. Very helpful suggestions on the photos. For the profile. What are you looking for? It seems listing interest is over done. How much detail? Kids? Ages? What makes you swipe right? The photos? The profile?

And a comment on the age topic. I think 40 is my very low end and top is 53. The one thing that is making me hesitant approaching women is my apparent horrible judge of age. I have talked to some 50 year olds that look 40 or younger and 40 year olds that appear closer to 50. Any advice on that?

My advice on that, as a 50 year old divorced woman who is constantly pegged as approx. 10 years younger .... ask yourself why you care at all whether the woman is 40, 44, or 51. I'm serious. What difference do those ages make to you (assuming her appearance, demeanor and basic demographic details meet your threshold.)? Do you want to have more babies? Are you hoping to retire simultaneously with your next partner? Etc.

How do women not understand this? It's about sex. 35 year old sex is better than 55 year old sex

I would think about upping your age range. I'm in my 40s, I would happily date a man in his 50s but not if his profile says he is only looking for younger women.

Anonymous wrote:Despite what you read here, women expect a man of your age to have his finances in order. Take a picture wearing your most expensive outfit and be sure to include and fancy jewelry you might own. If you are well endowed, wear tight pants to show that off. Leaving your shirt unbuttoned so we can see if you have nice chest hair is also a plus. If you own a nice car or especially a boat then we need to know that too.
Basically seel yourself on why I should pick you over the 100s of options out there

Ignore this op.

Anonymous wrote:OP. Great advice. Very helpful suggestions on the photos. For the profile. What are you looking for? It seems listing interest is over done. How much detail? Kids? Ages? What makes you swipe right? The photos? The profile?

And a comment on the age topic. I think 40 is my very low end and top is 53. The one thing that is making me hesitant approaching women is my apparent horrible judge of age. I have talked to some 50 year olds that look 40 or younger and 40 year olds that appear closer to 50. Any advice on that?

My advice on that, as a 50 year old divorced woman who is constantly pegged as approx. 10 years younger .... ask yourself why you care at all whether the woman is 40, 44, or 51. I'm serious. What difference do those ages make to you (assuming her appearance, demeanor and basic demographic details meet your threshold.)? Do you want to have more babies? Are you hoping to retire simultaneously with your next partner? Etc.

Despite what you read here, women expect a man of your age to have his finances in order. Take a picture wearing your most expensive outfit and be sure to include and fancy jewelry you might own. If you are well endowed, wear tight pants to show that off. Leaving your shirt unbuttoned so we can see if you have nice chest hair is also a plus. If you own a nice car or especially a boat then we need to know that too.
Basically seel yourself on why I should pick you over the 100s of options out there

OP. Great advice. Very helpful suggestions on the photos. For the profile. What are you looking for? It seems listing interest is over done. How much detail? Kids? Ages? What makes you swipe right? The photos? The profile?

And a comment on the age topic. I think 40 is my very low end and top is 53. The one thing that is making me hesitant approaching women is my apparent horrible judge of age. I have talked to some 50 year olds that look 40 or younger and 40 year olds that appear closer to 50. Any advice on that?

Be fit and have a sense of humor!

OP didn’t mention that he wanted a younger woman and everyone sort of went off on that tangent, but as someone who dated a 46 year old when I was 34, I’m pretty attractive and in great shape with a great career, and I was attracted to him because he was fit, relatively handsome, funny, and truth be told kind of a bad boy. Rode a motorcycle, worked undercover as a cop, tattoos, great in bed. Of course it didn’t last longer than a few months so I can’t speak to longevity. But the initial attractive was something you can’t exactly craft, and just have to have.

I’d echo PPs comments about age. For reference, I’m a very fit, married 32 year old woman and I’ve only met two 50 year old men who I’d ever seriously consider dating. Both were seriously fit and seriously rich.

The handful of 35-40 year old women I know who date older men are not particularly attractive (although I’m sure their frumpy boyfriends think they are dating a prize) and are essentially unable to land a successful man their own age. These relationships are a minefield and there’s lots of jealousy towards the first wife, especially if the woman does not have kids. If she does have kids, there are tons of belended family issues. Check out the StepTalk message board for some of the gazillion emotional and logistical issues that these relationships are stuck navigating. I think, longterm, there are also loyalty issues in many of these relationships, especially as the the man starts to age. Additionally, a truly high drive woman is going to have a difficult time slowing down before their time.

So, yeah, I think all these stories about 50 year old men landing hot 35 year olds and having endlessly hot sex that transitions into something long term are rarely true. And in cases where it does happen, I think it speaks more to the desperation of the woman than the desirability of the man.

And yes to accurate profile pics for your online dating profile!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I was divorced and dating in my 40s. Had a positive experience dating (contrary to my expectations about online dating) and though I wasn't aiming for it, ended up meeting someone great and remarried. My tips for a man:

Profile pics -- no selfies, no old photos. Use recent photos, and ask people to take photos of you being happy and doing something you like

Age -- I saw so many guys in their 50s who truly believed that because they were active they were the equivalent of a man in their 30s. So they wanted to date younger women. Often a 50 year old guy would have an age range for women of 25-50. More power to you if you can pull that off but I can say as an active woman who's fit and all that--those guys just seemed out of touch with reality. Go date women your own age who are similarly situated--who look and feel younger than their age. Also the optics of it, why have an age range only younger than you, or 20 years younger and maybe 1 year older. Like your own age is the absolutely oldest you'd ever date.

+1 to this. I'd pass on any man who had that wide of an age range.

On a site where people can see your age range, set it higher than you but just ignore the older ones.

Anonymous wrote:Half his age plus seven years should be the floor, not that OP asked about age.

Don't limit yourself to the internet, the old fashioned way still works. Go to church, volunteer, socialize and meet people.

A 51 year old man dating a 32 year old woman is only realistic if he has a ton of money to spend and is looking to become a father again. With that being said, you should:

-Have a couple of outfits ready for a potential date night
-Be comfortable with wearing condoms
-Have a coffee spot and a couple of dinner restaurants in mind
-Make arrangements for someone to keep your kids, if needed

Also, if you are seriously ready to date, you will need to ask her out even if it is for a quick coffee. None of this constant chatting.

Personally, I think older divorced guys that are online are just testing the waters and experimenting with dating. When they get a little experience behind them, they are able to seek out more personal ways to meet women. I used it when I started dating again but I found the whole process tiring . . . it like riding a tricycle.

Half his age plus seven years should be the floor, not that OP asked about age.

Don't limit yourself to the internet, the old fashioned way still works. Go to church, volunteer, socialize and meet people.

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I was divorced and dating in my 40s. Had a positive experience dating (contrary to my expectations about online dating) and though I wasn't aiming for it, ended up meeting someone great and remarried. My tips for a man:

Profile pics -- no selfies, no old photos. Use recent photos, and ask people to take photos of you being happy and doing something you like

Age -- I saw so many guys in their 50s who truly believed that because they were active they were the equivalent of a man in their 30s. So they wanted to date younger women. Often a 50 year old guy would have an age range for women of 25-50. More power to you if you can pull that off but I can say as an active woman who's fit and all that--those guys just seemed out of touch with reality. Go date women your own age who are similarly situated--who look and feel younger than their age. Also the optics of it, why have an age range only younger than you, or 20 years younger and maybe 1 year older. Like your own age is the absolutely oldest you'd ever date.

These are very good tips. Here are a few more:
Don't over promise and underdeliver. Be honest.
If you're out of shape, get in shape but not to an extreme.

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I was divorced and dating in my 40s. Had a positive experience dating (contrary to my expectations about online dating) and though I wasn't aiming for it, ended up meeting someone great and remarried. My tips for a man:

Profile pics -- no selfies, no old photos. Use recent photos, and ask people to take photos of you being happy and doing something you like

Age -- I saw so many guys in their 50s who truly believed that because they were active they were the equivalent of a man in their 30s. So they wanted to date younger women. Often a 50 year old guy would have an age range for women of 25-50. More power to you if you can pull that off but I can say as an active woman who's fit and all that--those guys just seemed out of touch with reality. Go date women your own age who are similarly situated--who look and feel younger than their age. Also the optics of it, why have an age range only younger than you, or 20 years younger and maybe 1 year older. Like your own age is the absolutely oldest you'd ever date.

+1 to this. I'd pass on any man who had that wide of an age range.

Woman here. I was divorced and dating in my 40s. Had a positive experience dating (contrary to my expectations about online dating) and though I wasn't aiming for it, ended up meeting someone great and remarried. My tips for a man:

Profile pics -- no selfies, no old photos. Use recent photos, and ask people to take photos of you being happy and doing something you like

Age -- I saw so many guys in their 50s who truly believed that because they were active they were the equivalent of a man in their 30s. So they wanted to date younger women. Often a 50 year old guy would have an age range for women of 25-50. More power to you if you can pull that off but I can say as an active woman who's fit and all that--those guys just seemed out of touch with reality. Go date women your own age who are similarly situated--who look and feel younger than their age. Also the optics of it, why have an age range only younger than you, or 20 years younger and maybe 1 year older. Like your own age is the absolutely oldest you'd ever date.

Would like to get a women’s perspective. Recently entered the dating world after about 20 years. Have used several dating sites with not much luck. What advice would you give?