There's a lot of good advice here.

My kids are now 30, 26, and 25 and are productive and happy.

My sense is that you want to treat them as individuals even when they are little, hold them accountable for their behavior, praise them when warranted, and always remember they will learn from observing how your spouse and you interact and treat each other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 daughters who are 40+andI have college aged grandchildren. We emphasized having fun in our family, being open to new ideas and a wide diversity of people and places, and making their own decisions from an early age. We also talked a lot about how education, for its own sake, was a great thing. Our whole family reads a lot. We supported our girls in anything they wanted to try. All three turned out to be kind, caring, economically successful adults and more importantly, great parents. My grand children are thriving. I agree with allowing each kid to be themselves and to allow them to find their own way. You don't have to "teach"values. Your kids absorb these from you like magic.

The is beautiful! Bless your family!

Meant This not The!

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 daughters who are 40+andI have college aged grandchildren. We emphasized having fun in our family, being open to new ideas and a wide diversity of people and places, and making their own decisions from an early age. We also talked a lot about how education, for its own sake, was a great thing. Our whole family reads a lot. We supported our girls in anything they wanted to try. All three turned out to be kind, caring, economically successful adults and more importantly, great parents. My grand children are thriving. I agree with allowing each kid to be themselves and to allow them to find their own way. You don't have to "teach"values. Your kids absorb these from you like magic.

The is beautiful! Bless your family!

I have 3 daughters who are 40+andI have college aged grandchildren. We emphasized having fun in our family, being open to new ideas and a wide diversity of people and places, and making their own decisions from an early age. We also talked a lot about how education, for its own sake, was a great thing. Our whole family reads a lot. We supported our girls in anything they wanted to try. All three turned out to be kind, caring, economically successful adults and more importantly, great parents. My grand children are thriving. I agree with allowing each kid to be themselves and to allow them to find their own way. You don't have to "teach"values. Your kids absorb these from you like magic.

I love this topic. My kids are young teens. Listening ...

We have four adult children and one in high school. I am amazed at the wonderful, kind, successful young adults they have become. I'm not sure what to attribute it to. We are certainly far from perfect parents. If I had to give one piece of parenting advice it would be this - Love the child you have. Unconditionally. Don't try to create the child you think you want. I see this over and over again on dcum and I cringe. Your child is unique. Allow him to walk his own path. Trust that while it may look different from the one you envisioned, he will find his way.

My biggest advice is to back off and let them think/breathe/explore for themselves when they get to college. We have 4 kids, currently 25-35. With my oldest, we were just too involved and way too pushy (in retrospect). She was always the top of her class, super perfectionist high achiever, and - again, in retrospect - terrified of messing up or disappointing us. My husband pushed her to apply to Law school and she did, and it was just not the right call for her. She even had a little panic over that summer and told us she didn't want to go to law school, she wanted to just take some time and try something else and explore what she really wanted to do. What we should've done is listened to her...but she had gotten into a top law school and we were so focused on achievement that we pushed her to "just go and give it a chance." Itwas a mistake. Honestly our younger kids, whom we were less overinvolved with when it came to choosing classes/majors/etc are he ones who are truly happy and well-adjusted. Don't be helicopter parents, and parent the kid you have

I think more interesting would be parents responding who have kids 28yrs+

Make sure you read to your kids from day 1. Talk to them often and have goals. Get them involved in a lot of activities to find different passions. Have and show respect. Make life fun. Work hard. Have manners.

Give kids some "skin in the game" while they are growing up, don't pay for EVERYTHING without zero contribution from them....they have to know the value of a dollar and be wise about income and expenses. Start that EARLY, like elementary school, don't wait until after college when the bank of Mom and Dad is closed to teach them financial literacy. Schools do zilch in this regard the onus is on the PARENTS, do it! A lot of parents are fully funding college so their young adults are not strapped with debt, instill in them how HUGE that is so they appreciate it and don't turn on you and refuse to help YOU when you get older.

Build compassion/humility in them....take them to a soup kitchen, shelter, etc...and volunteer with them, this will free them from the entitlement/all about me syndrome many young adults suffer from.

While sports and music lessons are great, traveling abroad should be in your budget....they need a broader/world view to expand their outlook on life.

If you let them run wild and misbehave as young children it is very difficult to change that behavior once they are older.
As parents you need to set a good example in just about every thing you do. You are their most important TEACHER.

Kids raised to believe they are gifted and entitled to special treatment as a result often don't do nearly as well as expected.

Try to instill a sense of humility and gratitude. Arrogance does not play well in the adult world.

Teens, especially girls, will from 13-18 think their parents are clueless. Then they go off to college and have to stand and survive on their own. Then they graduate and begin to realize that their parents aren't losers.

I’ve a really been really surprised at the success/lack of success of some young adults I know (friends with my kids). I feel like there’s a BIG change 19-21 and kids can really change in unexpected ways

Please teach us what you have observed working when raising children for you and your friends in the long haul and what has not. What parenting styles or parental attributes do best in the long run? Which makes you cringe now knowing what you know?