Anonymous
05/20/2018 11:49
Subject: People who disguise their meanness as "honesty"
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Examples?
"That dress doesn't flatter your figure as well as some other dresses I've seen you in"
"That dress is ugly AF and makes you look so fat"
"Just being honest, but what the he'll did you do to your hair? It looks so bad on you"
"Did you cut your hair? I've never been too find of very short hair, but I bet when it grows out to your chin, it'll frame your face nicely. "
In your second scenario, my thought is why say anything at all? If asked, and you don’t like it, you can say “I don’t really like that cut on you”. But that second sentence - are people really that fragile?? And if they are, they shouldn’t be asking opinions in the first place.
Anonymous
05/20/2018 11:43
Subject: People who disguise their meanness as "honesty"
Anonymous wrote:Sometimes the truth hurts but it is still okay to speak the truth.
Sometimes people are too sensitive and need to be able to handle the truth
Sometimes people say mean spirited things that don't need to be said, truth or not.
And the problems start when the other person doesn’t have the same thresholds.
Anonymous
05/20/2018 11:38
Subject: People who disguise their meanness as "honesty"
Anonymous wrote:Examples?
"That dress doesn't flatter your figure as well as some other dresses I've seen you in"
"That dress is ugly AF and makes you look so fat"
"Just being honest, but what the he'll did you do to your hair? It looks so bad on you"
"Did you cut your hair? I've never been too find of very short hair, but I bet when it grows out to your chin, it'll frame your face nicely. "
Anonymous
05/20/2018 11:35
Subject: People who disguise their meanness as "honesty"
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sometimes the truth hurts but it is still okay to speak the truth.
Sometimes people are too sensitive and need to be able to handle the truth
Sometimes people say mean spirited things that don't need to be said, truth or not.
Yup. I’m not a fan of trying to buffer everything as to make sure no one ever gets their feelings hurt. Sometimes you gotta let it fly. If it is the truth, no need to dance around it.
That being said, stating the truth is one thing. Adding in personal commentary is what usually makes the teller look like an a$$hole.
Those advocating for the truth often confuse the truth with their own opinion.
For certain situations that is totally true.
So what about this scenario:
I ask my husband if my dress makes me look fat. He thinks it does. If he thinks so, he should say yes. Does this make him an asshole? Personally, I think no. What would make him an asshole is if he said “damn straight! You look like that guy who was so big he had to be buried in a piano!!”
Anonymous
05/20/2018 11:32
Subject: People who disguise their meanness as "honesty"
How you say things is every bit as important as what you say. Perhaps moreso.
Anonymous
05/20/2018 11:29
Subject: People who disguise their meanness as "honesty"
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sometimes the truth hurts but it is still okay to speak the truth.
Sometimes people are too sensitive and need to be able to handle the truth
Sometimes people say mean spirited things that don't need to be said, truth or not.
Yup. I’m not a fan of trying to buffer everything as to make sure no one ever gets their feelings hurt. Sometimes you gotta let it fly. If it is the truth, no need to dance around it.
That being said, stating the truth is one thing. Adding in personal commentary is what usually makes the teller look like an a$$hole.
Those advocating for the truth often confuse the truth with their own opinion.
Anonymous
05/20/2018 11:23
Subject: People who disguise their meanness as "honesty"
Anonymous wrote:Sometimes the truth hurts but it is still okay to speak the truth.
Sometimes people are too sensitive and need to be able to handle the truth
Sometimes people say mean spirited things that don't need to be said, truth or not.
Yup. I’m not a fan of trying to buffer everything as to make sure no one ever gets their feelings hurt. Sometimes you gotta let it fly. If it is the truth, no need to dance around it.
That being said, stating the truth is one thing. Adding in personal commentary is what usually makes the teller look like an a$$hole.
Anonymous
05/20/2018 10:48
Subject: People who disguise their meanness as "honesty"
Sometimes the truth hurts but it is still okay to speak the truth.
Sometimes people are too sensitive and need to be able to handle the truth
Sometimes people say mean spirited things that don't need to be said, truth or not.
Sometimes people are too sensitive and need to be able to handle the truth
Sometimes people say mean spirited things that don't need to be said, truth or not.
Anonymous
05/20/2018 10:46
Subject: People who disguise their meanness as "honesty"
Examples?
Anonymous
05/20/2018 10:45
Subject: Re:People who disguise their meanness as "honesty"
They are too lazy to spend five seconds filtering their words or they truly don't care about the people around them. Big ego is usually present.
Anonymous
05/20/2018 10:31
Subject: People who disguise their meanness as "honesty"
I agree. Honesty doesn't always have to be brutal, tactful is an option as well!
Anonymous
05/20/2018 10:20
Subject: People who disguise their meanness as "honesty"
A husband - or wife - laying out all the extramarital affairs in gory detail to the spouse in the name of honesty is not being honest. That's being mean.
Anonymous
05/20/2018 09:42
Subject: People who disguise their meanness as "honesty"
Or Concern Trolling
Anonymous
05/20/2018 09:41
Subject: People who disguise their meanness as "honesty"
I believe this is known as Honesty Trolling.
Anonymous
05/20/2018 09:40
Subject: People who disguise their meanness as "honesty"
Pro tip: you can be respectful and be honest. What is it with people who are cutting, critical etc but justify their behavior because they're "just being honest."