I am guessing a lot of it has to do with COL. A six figure salary will let you live very well in most of the country. The exception being here and a couple other major metro areas

I would suggest moving to a smaller city. We moved to Richmond and are living way better than we did in DC and on a lower HHI too

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's you not investing in the stock market.

Op - I invest a lot between a maxed out 401k (IRS max not co match) plus another brokerage acct but I never feel comfortable pulling $ out of brokerage to buy things.

It's called dividends, my dear. You don't touch the capital.
It's amazing to me how many supposedly intelligent and capable people earning decent salaries are out there, not knowing how to leverage their money.

I'm not OP but I reinvest my dividends, I don't use them to buy consumer goods. I'm trying to build wealth, not spend it.

Then you're not investing in the right things, or have just started investing. After a while, it makes sense to spend the dividends, unless you really don't want to... but then you shouldn't create a thread like this!

Sounds like you’re investing. They likely aren’t. If they’re responsible, they’re maxing out 401ks but then feeling like ok — I’ve saved/invested, time for a vacation and a Mercedes. Think of how much you’ve invested in the last year (or 2 or 3) — couldn’t that amount have bought you a luxury car? I’m guessing it could have.

Pp - “...wasn’t complaining about debt..”

I agree don’t change your course based on others’ actions. Similar to a pp, all became clear to me in my 20’s when the supposed richer kids had college loans, cc debt from no personal finance education or discipline, parents who were in precarious situations due to poor retirement planning...meanwhile my conservative parents were living elder years comfortably and stress-free and taught us to plan similarly. I had the worst car in my condo building but at least i wasn’t complaint about debt and needing to take a second job to pay cc’s like some who could have easily avoided the problem by not continuing the high consumption lifestyle. With high spending/little saving, the charade lasts generations sometimes. Your kids will thank you when they someday realize they are set up/schooled on solid financial ground.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t claim to know everyone’s exact salary but in my extended family people brag about salaries — so I do know quite a few; and many of my peers have the same exact job as me so I know the range and many are lower. Yet I look at others’ lives and think — how are they doing this — with 2 luxury cars, McMansions (if they live in other places) or close in homes if they live here. Meanwhile I’m like if I did all those things, I’d have no financial cushion — yet I don’t get the sense these folks are living without a financial cushion. For extended family members I know they don’t have family money — all immigrant parents who just don’t have those kind of means; I guess some friends/coworkers might. Is it just me being too conservative?

The people you're comparing to are probably just higher leveraged than you are. Financing the cars and taking out bigger mortgages. Don't worry about what other people are doing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's you not investing in the stock market.

Op - I invest a lot between a maxed out 401k (IRS max not co match) plus another brokerage acct but I never feel comfortable pulling $ out of brokerage to buy things.

It's called dividends, my dear. You don't touch the capital.
It's amazing to me how many supposedly intelligent and capable people earning decent salaries are out there, not knowing how to leverage their money.

I'm not OP but I reinvest my dividends, I don't use them to buy consumer goods. I'm trying to build wealth, not spend it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's you not investing in the stock market.

Op - I invest a lot between a maxed out 401k (IRS max not co match) plus another brokerage acct but I never feel comfortable pulling $ out of brokerage to buy things.

It's called dividends, my dear. You don't touch the capital.
It's amazing to me how many supposedly intelligent and capable people earning decent salaries are out there, not knowing how to leverage their money.

Huh? I reinvest the dividends and the capital. I get the market, thanks.

Different priorities. Totally felt like this growing up - engineer dad, working mom and we NEVER went on vacation and they were constantly looking at sales circulars, while their peers often with just 1 engineer salary and a stay home mom lived larger. Never understood why. Later I realized it was bc they were hell bent that both kids would go to Ivys/top private and they’d pay all/majority of it. Their peers mocked them with “waste of money, I went to no name u in Punjab and look how great I’m doing, I’m not spending $ on college when in America good grades get you free rides at whatever school.” That freed up a LOT of cash for these other families to take vacations, drive Mercedes, new cars for kids at age 18 etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's you not investing in the stock market.

Op - I invest a lot between a maxed out 401k (IRS max not co match) plus another brokerage acct but I never feel comfortable pulling $ out of brokerage to buy things.

It's called dividends, my dear. You don't touch the capital.
It's amazing to me how many supposedly intelligent and capable people earning decent salaries are out there, not knowing how to leverage their money.

Do you mean, are you too conservative spending money, when other people (whose financial situations you don't know everything about) are spending more money? No, you aren't being too conservative.

As you say, they may have family help. Or they may have no financial cushion. Either way, their spending decisions should not impact your spending decisions.

Anonymous wrote:
It's you not investing in the stock market.

Op - I invest a lot between a maxed out 401k (IRS max not co match) plus another brokerage acct but I never feel comfortable pulling $ out of brokerage to buy things.

Lots of people live above their means.

It's you not investing in the stock market.

I don’t claim to know everyone’s exact salary but in my extended family people brag about salaries — so I do know quite a few; and many of my peers have the same exact job as me so I know the range and many are lower. Yet I look at others’ lives and think — how are they doing this — with 2 luxury cars, McMansions (if they live in other places) or close in homes if they live here. Meanwhile I’m like if I did all those things, I’d have no financial cushion — yet I don’t get the sense these folks are living without a financial cushion. For extended family members I know they don’t have family money — all immigrant parents who just don’t have those kind of means; I guess some friends/coworkers might. Is it just me being too conservative?