Anonymous wrote:This is good advice. It works ONLY in a relationship where both people are good people who have the other person's best interests at heart.

Slight correction there!

Anonymous wrote:

Well, actually, marriage is ultimately for my kids. I made sure to marry a person who agrees with me on that.

By you may not have been able to have children? And he was there first, and will be there long after the kids are grown and moved away.

Anonymous wrote:

Well, actually, marriage is ultimately for my kids. I made sure to marry a person who agrees with me on that.

+1

I married to raise a family. Not that I don't love my DH but he didn't have to be my H.

Well, actually, marriage is ultimately for my kids. I made sure to marry a person who agrees with me on that.

Anonymous wrote:This is good advice. It works mostly in a relationship where both people are good people who have the other person's best interests at heart.

I think women tend to fall more easily into this role though and are taken advantage of more frequently. So both parties need to be aware of balance and a woman who isn't being loved well should feel empowered to think of herself once in awhile.

But overall I do agree with the give and take of marriage and the necessity of making sure it isn't about 'you'.

+1 This is me and my DH, as good a person as he is, sometimes I have to remind me to be there for me or give.

Notice my father is the same way, but he's gotten better with age and my mother's recurring health issues.

This is good advice. It works mostly in a relationship where both people are good people who have the other person's best interests at heart.

I think women tend to fall more easily into this role though and are taken advantage of more frequently. So both parties need to be aware of balance and a woman who isn't being loved well should feel empowered to think of herself once in awhile.

But overall I do agree with the give and take of marriage and the necessity of making sure it isn't about 'you'.

I agree with this wholeheartedly. Women nowadays would say this is a backwards approach, but I love making my husband happy, and in return, he is very eager to make me happy. Sometimes, life is all about him and sometimes, it’s all about me. Sometimes I give and he takes, sometimes I take and he gives. But the key is to not complain when it’s the others turn to take, and to give with your whole heart. It truly comes back around, and in doing so, there isn’t resentment.

So I know that we all see way too many "inspirational" chain letters and FB posts, but this one resonated with me. I agree with the sentiment (read the post). I see way too many people on DCUM complaining about what they do and don't get out of a marriage or relationship and I think that too many go into a relationship for what they will get out of it and not what they will give or do for their partner. And that is where many relationships break down.

TL;DR version - marriage is not for you, but for the person you love.

https://sethadamsmith.com/2013/11/02/marriage-isnt-for-you/