Anonymous wrote:My wife never really initiates but we still do it a few times a week. I’m going to take on a similar challenge and do something nice for her every day. She seems to value acts of service the most so I’ll figure out what I can do to take something off of her plate daily.

My husband jumps in the bed around 9, when all three kids are asleep. He watches tv. I am up doing hw, laundry, dishes, going over paper work, fixing dinner for the next day, going over children’s hw, then work out and shower. I am in bed at 12/1. He wakes up and wants to have sex. I want to stab him... men do not realize (like another poster said) that we want sex but it’s hard to disconnect from the mental and physical crap we have to do in order to get in the mood.

Anonymous wrote:My wife never really initiates but we still do it a few times a week. I’m going to take on a similar challenge and do something nice for her every day. She seems to value acts of service the most so I’ll figure out what I can do to take something off of her plate daily.

You are awesome!

Some men are bent on refusing to recognize that women stress over child care, house chores, and other responsibilities. When you take something off their plate, it can help them relax.

Anonymous wrote:My wife never really initiates but we still do it a few times a week. I’m going to take on a similar challenge and do something nice for her every day. She seems to value acts of service the most so I’ll figure out what I can do to take something off of her plate daily.

Sorry for posting twice - my phone did something funky.

My wife never really initiates but we still do it a few times a week. I’m going to take on a similar challenge and do something nice for her every day. She seems to value acts of service the most so I’ll figure out what I can do to take something off of her plate daily.

My wife never really initiates but we still do it a few times a week. I’m going to take on a similar challenge and do something nice for her every day. She seems to value acts of service the most so I’ll figure out what I can do to take something off of her plate daily.

Anonymous wrote:I tried something like this last year. My wife hated it. This is a good idea where the low sex life is mostly a function of inertia. Where the low sex is a function of something else (e.g. body image, dislike of sex, discomfort, relationship resentments) it'll likely cause problems.

I’m like this. Forcing myself to have sex just makes me feel worse. But we have a lot of problems.

I posted elsewhere about initiating sex with my dh 2x a week whether I want to or not, and I got BLASTED. Like I was doing him the biggest disservice in the world and should divorce him right now because I clearly don't love him because I don't desire his body.

You cannot win. No, that's not true. I cannot win!

Anonymous wrote:2-4x a month is not a sexless marriage, wtf?

once a week is normal for married couples

So what? If the OP is unhappy with that frequency, she can try to bump it up. Join in or don't.

2-4x a month is not a sexless marriage, wtf?

once a week is normal for married couples

Anonymous wrote:If you’re in a sexless marriage and you’re the one who has lost interest in sex, the challenge is to initiate and have sex with your partner 2x/week for the next 4 weeks. Then report back here on if & how it changes your relationship. Will be trying this with my DH. We have 2 young kids & I am exhausted all the time. We’ve gone from having sex a few times/week to 2-4x/ month.

Believe it or not, 2-4x/ month is not a "sexless marriage"!

I tried something like this last year. My wife hated it. This is a good idea where the low sex life is mostly a function of inertia. Where the low sex is a function of something else (e.g. body image, dislike of sex, discomfort, relationship resentments) it'll likely cause problems.

I'm in.

I am in! I have one toddler and a five month old baby. I get super tired and basically in bed by 8 pm.

This is a good challenge. And I accept.
Signed,
DW who is kinda tired of initiating...but I'll do it anyway

If you’re in a sexless marriage and you’re the one who has lost interest in sex, the challenge is to initiate and have sex with your partner 2x/week for the next 4 weeks. Then report back here on if & how it changes your relationship. Will be trying this with my DH. We have 2 young kids & I am exhausted all the time. We’ve gone from having sex a few times/week to 2-4x/ month.