Anonymous
04/24/2018 09:42
Subject: Re:Come in if you're in a happy marriage
How long have you been married? Married for 20 years; truly happy. We enjoy each other's company, have a great sex life, and just generally like the other person for who they are.
Do you have kids and do you think that adds or detracts from your happiness as a married couple? We have three teens. I wouldn't want to parent with anyone else. He was always the better parent to our kids when they were young. I think we are about equal now, but we rely on each other to actively parent every day.
Do you think it's mostly luck that you're happy together or effort or both? Neither? We chose each other because we are happier together. In 20 years I think we've only had one real tough spot, and that was after my husband suffered a TBI from an accident. Other than that, it's like I found my other half. I don't have to force it, or create a date night, or schedule intimacy (physical or emotional). The spark is just there. If anything we foster it by taking care of the other person, but that doesn't generally take a conscious effort. It's just part of who we are as people, and as a couple.
Do you have kids and do you think that adds or detracts from your happiness as a married couple? We have three teens. I wouldn't want to parent with anyone else. He was always the better parent to our kids when they were young. I think we are about equal now, but we rely on each other to actively parent every day.
Do you think it's mostly luck that you're happy together or effort or both? Neither? We chose each other because we are happier together. In 20 years I think we've only had one real tough spot, and that was after my husband suffered a TBI from an accident. Other than that, it's like I found my other half. I don't have to force it, or create a date night, or schedule intimacy (physical or emotional). The spark is just there. If anything we foster it by taking care of the other person, but that doesn't generally take a conscious effort. It's just part of who we are as people, and as a couple.
Anonymous
04/24/2018 09:37
Subject: Come in if you're in a happy marriage
Married twelve years with two kids. Married a good person who is all in (as am I). 80% effort, 20% luck, because I think luck plays a part in all of our lives and relationships. Not always easy but no regrets.
Anonymous
04/24/2018 09:29
Subject: Come in if you're in a happy marriage
Married 10 years with a 4 year old. He definitely challenges our marriage (moderate special needs), and we're both looking forward to when he's older and a bit more independent so we can have some couple time back. I don't want to do the journey with anyone else though.
Anonymous
04/24/2018 09:25
Subject: Come in if you're in a happy marriage
Anonymous wrote:Married for 18 years. We have two kids, both early teens, and it very much adds to our happiness as a couple (and to my sense of fulfillment as an individual).
It's not all sunshine and rainbows. When the kids came along, our sex life took a dive which is still a sore point. But, even with that, the marriage is happy and the kids are a net positive.
I don't think it's luck exactly. I think we're both generally friendly people with fairly modest material needs. That reduces the stress. And we both are generally very loyal people who expect and appreciate that quality in others. So, we both have a pretty good sense that the other one has our back and has our best interests in mind. We knew all these things about each other when we got married, and they were big parts of the attraction. With those things in place, the relationship started off on "easy" mode and has more or less stayed there.
Wait, what? You've had a bad sex life for 13+ years? How is this a happy marriage?
Anonymous
04/24/2018 09:17
Subject: Come in if you're in a happy marriage
Anonymous wrote:Together 26 years. Two kids. It's hard work, but worth it. It helps that we are on the same page around raising kids, money and what's important. And we make each other laugh a lot.
Exact same here, except married 13 years. The laughing really helps!
Anonymous
04/24/2018 09:06
Subject: Come in if you're in a happy marriage
10 years. We have a toddler and I am 8 months pregnant with #2. We got together very young and waited a long time to have children (plus a little infertility) and we truly enjoyed everything about that DINK stage of life. Our toddler definitely adds to our happiness daily. She's such a joy and we couldn't imagine our lives without her.
We have always put a lot of effort into our marriage, but we really just click. No great arguments, no great drama. I can't remember the last argument we had. I care about DH a lot and I know he cares for me too. We have a babysitter every single weekend that comes when the toddler is asleep.
We have always put a lot of effort into our marriage, but we really just click. No great arguments, no great drama. I can't remember the last argument we had. I care about DH a lot and I know he cares for me too. We have a babysitter every single weekend that comes when the toddler is asleep.
Anonymous
04/24/2018 08:59
Subject: Come in if you're in a happy marriage
Together 26 years. Two kids. It's hard work, but worth it. It helps that we are on the same page around raising kids, money and what's important. And we make each other laugh a lot.
Anonymous
04/24/2018 08:52
Subject: Come in if you're in a happy marriage
Anonymous wrote:Married for 18 years. We have two kids, both early teens, and it very much adds to our happiness as a couple (and to my sense of fulfillment as an individual).
It's not all sunshine and rainbows. When the kids came along, our sex life took a dive which is still a sore point. But, even with that, the marriage is happy and the kids are a net positive.
I don't think it's luck exactly. I think we're both generally friendly people with fairly modest material needs. That reduces the stress. And we both are generally very loyal people who expect and appreciate that quality in others. So, we both have a pretty good sense that the other one has our back and has our best interests in mind. We knew all these things about each other when we got married, and they were big parts of the attraction. With those things in place, the relationship started off on "easy" mode and has more or less stayed there.
I second this. Not all sunshine and rainbows, but having a child has definitely added joy and brought structure and meaning to our joint lives!
Anonymous
04/24/2018 08:47
Subject: Come in if you're in a happy marriage
Married for 18 years. We have two kids, both early teens, and it very much adds to our happiness as a couple (and to my sense of fulfillment as an individual).
It's not all sunshine and rainbows. When the kids came along, our sex life took a dive which is still a sore point. But, even with that, the marriage is happy and the kids are a net positive.
I don't think it's luck exactly. I think we're both generally friendly people with fairly modest material needs. That reduces the stress. And we both are generally very loyal people who expect and appreciate that quality in others. So, we both have a pretty good sense that the other one has our back and has our best interests in mind. We knew all these things about each other when we got married, and they were big parts of the attraction. With those things in place, the relationship started off on "easy" mode and has more or less stayed there.
It's not all sunshine and rainbows. When the kids came along, our sex life took a dive which is still a sore point. But, even with that, the marriage is happy and the kids are a net positive.
I don't think it's luck exactly. I think we're both generally friendly people with fairly modest material needs. That reduces the stress. And we both are generally very loyal people who expect and appreciate that quality in others. So, we both have a pretty good sense that the other one has our back and has our best interests in mind. We knew all these things about each other when we got married, and they were big parts of the attraction. With those things in place, the relationship started off on "easy" mode and has more or less stayed there.
Anonymous
04/24/2018 08:40
Subject: Come in if you're in a happy marriage
Together 10 years. Married for 9. Have an 8yo and a 9mo. I love parenting with my husband. He’s an amazing dad and I find that very attractive. Having a baby again (particularly with the huge gap) was hard at first but now that she sleeps through the night, it’s easier for us to connect as a couple.
I feel very lucky to be married to someone with whom I’m so compatible, but marriage also requires attention and effort. It’s not just luck.
I feel very lucky to be married to someone with whom I’m so compatible, but marriage also requires attention and effort. It’s not just luck.
Anonymous
04/24/2018 08:35
Subject: Come in if you're in a happy marriage
19 years married, 27 years together. 3 kids who bring us joy and headaches. We were lucky to find each other at a young age and we have grown together. We put effort into maintaining our relationship and have weathered many challenges. We have both been faithful. We have a happy marriage.
Anonymous
04/24/2018 08:30
Subject: Come in if you're in a happy marriage
Anonymous wrote:How long have you been married? Do you have kids and do you think that adds or detracts from your happiness as a married couple?
Do you think it's mostly luck that you're happy together or effort or both?
Almost 10. Yes kids, definitely detracts at this stage. (And i have an optimistic view, but man, they exhaust us constantly)
Effort that we are happy together. When we have not been happy, it’s due to lack of effort (addicted to phones, not handling our own personal stress positively, or not being considerate).
Anonymous
04/24/2018 08:29
Subject: Re:Come in if you're in a happy marriage
Anonymous wrote:Going on 12 years of marriage, but have been together for 18. Our marriage has its ups and downs, but I would describe it as happy. Kids definitely help. We both like kids and are good parents.
Effort vs luck? 100% effort.
Agree with all of the above. Married 22 years. Bunch of kids. Happy. I also believe happiness is a choice.
Anonymous
04/24/2018 08:27
Subject: Re:Come in if you're in a happy marriage
Going on 12 years of marriage, but have been together for 18. Our marriage has its ups and downs, but I would describe it as happy. Kids definitely help. We both like kids and are good parents.
Effort vs luck? 100% effort.
Effort vs luck? 100% effort.
Anonymous
04/24/2018 08:10
Subject: Come in if you're in a happy marriage
How long have you been married? Do you have kids and do you think that adds or detracts from your happiness as a married couple?
Do you think it's mostly luck that you're happy together or effort or both?
Do you think it's mostly luck that you're happy together or effort or both?