Anonymous
Post 04/16/2018 11:39     Subject: No grandchildren
Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone else out there that has come to the realization that grandchildren are not happening? Are you having a hard time dealing with it? I had my children young and just assumed that I would be a young grandparent. I'm 57, kids are 37 and 32 and neither want kids. I realize it's their decision and no one should have kids if they don't want them, kids are tough. I don't bug them to have children but I have to admit that it makes me really sad. A huge thing that I thought would fill and give some purpose to the remainder of my life is not happening. I love babies, children and teenagers and was looking forward to experiencing all of the fun stuff again without the day to day responsibilities. I have lots of grand nieces and nephews but it isn't the same. And yes, I have a life, career, a husband that I love etc. but so much that I was looking forward to as part of getting older is not happening. And of course, this means no great grandchildren either.


I know this may be painful for you but I think this better than my painter's situation in which his unmarried 21 year old is pregnant. To help you get over this situation keep repeating to yourself that your kids have their own lives and it is better for them to remain childless rather to bring a child into the world just to make you a grandmother. How would you feel if your parents told you that you made a mistake because you had kids when you were young OR pressured you to have kids when you didn't. My grandma told my mom only to have two kids so she did the opposite and had the third kid.

Keep repeating the mantra..it isn't my life. Repeat.

I suggest you find kids who do need grandmotherly love. Does it really matter if they aren't related?
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2018 11:35     Subject: No grandchildren
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe you can "adopt" the kids of a close friend to be your 'grandkids". My kids only have one living grandparent and she is across the country and 80, not crazy about kids. I wish we had some honorary grandparents!


This. My aunt and uncle are like honorary grandparents to my DS and it is so wonderful. And we have a neighbor who has also semi adopted him as her grandson.

I know it’s probably mot the same as having real grandkids for them, but for DS I don’t think it feels any different.


+2.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2018 11:34     Subject: No grandchildren
OP here again. I will look into volunteering once I retire. Right now with my career and a 1 1/2 hour commute, it would be a little tough and I don't want to sign up for something and not be reliable. Thank you for understanding and I think I just wanted to vent a bit. I certainly don't want to vent to my children although I have complained to my husband about it. He is sad about it as well.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2018 11:31     Subject: No grandchildren
Op, DH and I joke about it every now and then. His mom died unexpectantly and his dad is distant and uninterested. My parents live far away and are uninterested generally as well. We are so in need of a set of involved GPs!! GL to you.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2018 11:30     Subject: Re:No grandchildren
This would be devastating for me. I understand.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2018 11:28     Subject: No grandchildren
You should volunteer to help children and young parents who really need it.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2018 11:27     Subject: No grandchildren
My mother volunteers at a head start program. She loves the work and the children. Maybe you should look into this.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2018 10:23     Subject: No grandchildren
OP here. Oldest is a girl, youngest is a boy. My oldest is in a long term relationship and her SO does not believe in marriage and doesn't want kids so I don't think anything is happening there. The youngest does not even seem to be interested in any kind of relationship so even though there is time for him, I realize it probably won't happen. He has also stated that he has no interest in having children although I realize that can change. All of my grand nieces and nephews have very involved parents and grandparents and don't live close. As for adopting grandchildren, I don't know anyone with young kids and people are very suspicious these days. I have joked with my husband when we vacation in our regular beach town that we should offer free "play with your children on the beach" services.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2018 10:21     Subject: No grandchildren
Anonymous wrote:Maybe you can "adopt" the kids of a close friend to be your 'grandkids". My kids only have one living grandparent and she is across the country and 80, not crazy about kids. I wish we had some honorary grandparents!


This. My aunt and uncle are like honorary grandparents to my DS and it is so wonderful. And we have a neighbor who has also semi adopted him as her grandson.

I know it’s probably mot the same as having real grandkids for them, but for DS I don’t think it feels any different.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2018 10:16     Subject: No grandchildren
I'm sorry! I wouldn't write them off though until the youngest turns 40 though. Boys or girls? Some men have kids in their 40s even.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2018 10:13     Subject: Re:No grandchildren
Because of years of fertility treatments, I had my kids very late life. I have made my peace with the fact that, even if my kids have kids, I will likely be in my mid-to-late 70s and won’t be the same kind of involved grandparent I would have been if I had been younger. There is also a reasonable chance I won’t live to see any grandchildren. It just is what it is.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2018 10:08     Subject: No grandchildren
Maybe you can "adopt" the kids of a close friend to be your 'grandkids". My kids only have one living grandparent and she is across the country and 80, not crazy about kids. I wish we had some honorary grandparents!
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2018 10:06     Subject: Re:No grandchildren
Are they boys or girls?

Men can have babies a lot later, obviously. So that might still work out for you.

Best laid plans and all. I think there are a lot of ways to have children in your life. I'm sure some of those grand nieces and nephews don't have in-town grandparents and the parents would be thrilled to have you more involved (cough, free babysitting, cough).
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2018 10:06     Subject: No grandchildren
I don't know if I want my kids to have babies in this world. For now, I am perfectly okay with no grandkids.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2018 10:03     Subject: No grandchildren
Is there anyone else out there that has come to the realization that grandchildren are not happening? Are you having a hard time dealing with it? I had my children young and just assumed that I would be a young grandparent. I'm 57, kids are 37 and 32 and neither want kids. I realize it's their decision and no one should have kids if they don't want them, kids are tough. I don't bug them to have children but I have to admit that it makes me really sad. A huge thing that I thought would fill and give some purpose to the remainder of my life is not happening. I love babies, children and teenagers and was looking forward to experiencing all of the fun stuff again without the day to day responsibilities. I have lots of grand nieces and nephews but it isn't the same. And yes, I have a life, career, a husband that I love etc. but so much that I was looking forward to as part of getting older is not happening. And of course, this means no great grandchildren either.