I hear you. The schools are mostly privates, 3-7 hours away. So, it means more money on hotels and missing class (for him) and work (for me). I agree that more "data" at this point though (especially overnights) are valuable bases for his decision.

I think it is hard for my DC to let go of caring about grades so much. But, I am trying to explain (without adding pressure) that his future academic home is more important at this point than high school classes. I am trying to emphasize that we are in an enviable position: schools want to wine and dine him now, in hopes of gaining his acceptance. I am trying to frame this part of the process as an acknowledgement of his hard work and strong individual characteristics.

This is perfectly normal. All college bound kids are tired and totally toasted at this point. But there is no magic pill for cure. He will have to hang on for another month or so. Been there, done that. Good luck.

The admitted student days are a lot of fun. Mine didn't feel like going either but it was worth it both substantively and to actually enjoy part of the process. It's a good idea too to take a break from the testing and pressure. If your DC is going to score high enough for a difference, he/she is at the point in this year that more studying is a low incremental return. Whatever school he/she picks will be home for the next 4 years. And it's an expensive purchase. He/she wouldn't buy a car without a test drive right?

Any tips from parents of seniors or reflections of what you would do differently? I have a h.s. junior and have realized this year that the more selective colleges I imagined are likely not gonna happen for this kid so...I want to back off a bit but also not cause her to miss out on good college opportunities. What did you do, wish you did, regret you did with your senior during this college admission process? Any tips?

If he's not wanting to go to Admitted Student's Day he probably knows himself and knows it will not help with his decision. The students in the DMV have to work so hard just to have the option of the better in-state publics. Is this the case?

Raise your hand if your senior is tired & stressed...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can blame the OP all you want..but the system has become toxic to teens whose childhoods have ended on this note.

You can’t change the system but you can change how you as a parent help your child navigate it. It is almost always the crazy parents who are the root cause of the problem and the child becomes the victim. People need to examine their own behavior, the motivation behind it and the impact that it is having on their child.

Generalize much?

I hear ya. I was expecting this to be a happy time, too!

And it is not.

It is a misery.

Good luck to your son with making a choice.

Anonymous wrote:You can blame the OP all you want..but the system has become toxic to teens whose childhoods have ended on this note.

You can’t change the system but you can change how you as a parent help your child navigate it. It is almost always the crazy parents who are the root cause of the problem and the child becomes the victim. People need to examine their own behavior, the motivation behind it and the impact that it is having on their child.

You can blame the OP all you want..but the system has become toxic to teens whose childhoods have ended on this note.

OP, I hear you. My son is completely burned out by this whole process. He's already made his decision, but doesn't seem excited about it at all. I think he's just so over all of this college talk. He could probably benefit from a gap year, just to get away from school, but he says he doesn't want to take one.

Way to turn him off even more.

I agree that you need to step back. He's burnt out on it because she's had people breathing down his neck about it constantly for several months now. Let him decide if he needs/wants to attend admitted students days to help him make a decision.

Take a step back. Let him take a break and breathe. He’s put in the hard work already and now is the time to let up and let him make the decision on his own terms.

I am pressuring him a bit to attend the Admitted Students Days, just to help him form some strong preference. But he seems burnt out on it all.

Don't get me wrong, he has done well...but the decision will be hard, especially with those stupid AP classes still breathing down his neck.

I wish this was an exciting, happy time...but these kids just seem fried from all of it.