Anonymous wrote:*shrug* my homebody went to school 15 hours from home, really struggled, and then transferred to a school 30 minutes from home (and comes home regularly) and is billions of times happier. Being able to come home when she wants has been a saving grace.

+1
I would never discourage my child from coming home, if he or she wanted/needed to. Some kids are just happier when they're close to home. It doesn't mean "failure to launch" or anything ridiculous like that.

*shrug* my homebody went to school 15 hours from home, really struggled, and then transferred to a school 30 minutes from home (and comes home regularly) and is billions of times happier. Being able to come home when she wants has been a saving grace.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High school you are stuck going to school with kids who happen to live near you. In college, you go to school with kids who all chose the school/major and presumably have similar interests to you. I'm an introvert and really didn't fit in with kids in my high school, but totally found my people at college. Still not a huge social butterfly, but developed many strong, long term friendships.

+1 This.

+2

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High school you are stuck going to school with kids who happen to live near you. In college, you go to school with kids who all chose the school/major and presumably have similar interests to you. I'm an introvert and really didn't fit in with kids in my high school, but totally found my people at college. Still not a huge social butterfly, but developed many strong, long term friendships.

+1 This.

I'm hoping for this. I'd like the school to be far enough away that it's not easy to come home but doable once in awhile. Skype idea is a great one.

Some home bodies should be encouraged to commute or go to a commuter school near home.

They don't have to figure out everything all at once in September of their freshman year.

If they commute, their first semester can be about getting good grades.

Will this slow their integration with the other students, certainly, but the idea is not how fast they can find a group they don't hate.

The idea is to find a group that is ideal for them. This may not happen in college at all.

I went to several different colleges and grad schools for several different reasons.

I found better and worse groups but none turned out to be as good as my group from HS.

When I moved across the country for my first job, I finally found my ideal group.

Just tell her that you would like her to spend a month at school w/o visits from you or her coming home.

She needs to get used to having a new routine and if she is constantly coming home it'll take her longer to settle in.

Oh, forgot to add, we Skype on a regular basis and play online games/watch Netflix together. Distance is irrelevant now. No need to miss your kid or have them come home.

My DD is very much an introvert in an introverts’ major. She signs up for clubs and goes to colloquium on a regular basis. She can’t study in her one bedroom apartment because of distractions, so she spends all her time hanging out in coffee shops. When school gets to be too much she does an internship. Last spring she was in California for the semester as a break. This year she’s on the east coast. She is far more confident than she used to be and very personable, but still prefers her own company.

I also worry about her going to a school that is more than a few hours away from home

I would worry she would come home - - too often. I think that should be your worry. Actually, projecting that you have every confidence in her that she will enjoy college is what you need to do.

I think the most important thing for her to know going into the whole college thing is that you may not become friends with your roommate or hall mates, and that’s okay. But finding friends can take some work. She needs to sign up for clubs, maybe get a part time job, volunteer with the groups that do volunteer work. The more she puts herself in situations with people that share her interests, the more she’ll find like-minded people who may become friends.

Anonymous wrote:High school you are stuck going to school with kids who happen to live near you. In college, you go to school with kids who all chose the school/major and presumably have similar interests to you. I'm an introvert and really didn't fit in with kids in my high school, but totally found my people at college. Still not a huge social butterfly, but developed many strong, long term friendships.

+1 This.

High school you are stuck going to school with kids who happen to live near you. In college, you go to school with kids who all chose the school/major and presumably have similar interests to you. I'm an introvert and really didn't fit in with kids in my high school, but totally found my people at college. Still not a huge social butterfly, but developed many strong, long term friendships.

I am following this thread, because my child is similar.

You might want to look up another thread on here about good schools for a kid who is "sweet" (assuming your homebody is that

DDs roommate is a homebody . . . and has struggled because she is close enough to go home. It’s too much of a draw and her parents are always quick to go get her most weekends. DD is friendly and outgoing but not a party girl or social butterfly. She’s found a great group of kids and what they all have in common is they live hours away so going home on weekends is not an option.

My DD doesn't socialize much in high school. She has a few organized activities but for the most part she spends her weekends at home. She has friends at school but doesn't do much with them outside of school. I guess you'd call her an introvert although she can be quite engaging when having a conversation with others. High school has been tough for her, there are lots of cliques and she isn't in a group. She does go to a camp each summer and has made some friends there and loves it, which gives me hope that she'll make friends in college. I'm hoping she will find a nice set of friends when she goes to college. I also worry about her going to a school that is more than a few hours away from home.
Can anyone share info. on how their similar child has done socially in college?