Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's not spelled exactly the same way, it's not a namesake.

+1

+2

I think your grandma should let it go (or choose to be flattered rather than upset) but I agree it's not a namesake if it's a different spelling. More of an "inspired by" or "in honor of," but namesake is a pretty specific thing.

Agree with PP that the first initial thing is specifically Jewish, and it's because it's bad form to name a baby after a living family member. Meaning namesakes are off the table if the grandma is still alive. Totally apples to oranges.

Ugh there is a long standing middle name tradition in my family with a spelling this crowd would consider trashy (think Kimberlee instead of Kimberly). We went with it for DD since it was just the middle name...Had it been DD’s first name no way would we have gone with that spelling and I wouldn’t care what anyone in the family thought.

The name ISN'T the spelling.

Anonymous wrote:If it's not spelled exactly the same way, it's not a namesake.

+1

Not a mistake - you can name your child whatever you’d like. We were going to do this if we had a son and name him after my dad with a different spelling. (Alan instead of Allen.) My dad thought it was strange because it’s not his name but appreciated the thought. If your grandma is still hung up on it not being a namesake, tell her you love her and wanted to name your child in honor of her, even if it’s it her exact name.

If it's not spelled exactly the same way, it's not a namesake.

It's not a mistake. It's not something I'd be upset over and think grandma is being dramatic.

But it's not the name if you change the spelling.

^^^ cultures

Anonymous wrote:I don't see the problem. Among Ashkenazi Jews its common to honor a relative by using even just the first letter of the name. So Jennifer is named after Judith, etc. To have the same name with a slightly different spelling seems a no brainer to me. Would she be equally upset if you'd spelled it the same way and then used a diminutive or nickname? The child is named after the relative, she is not the relative's mini-me.

That’s uniquely a Jewish thing. Maybe OP is not Jewish. Not many culture would consider a name with the same first letter to be a namesake.

I don't see the problem. Among Ashkenazi Jews its common to honor a relative by using even just the first letter of the name. So Jennifer is named after Judith, etc. To have the same name with a slightly different spelling seems a no brainer to me. Would she be equally upset if you'd spelled it the same way and then used a diminutive or nickname? The child is named after the relative, she is not the relative's mini-me.

Anonymous wrote:We named our daughter after her grandmother (my mother), but used a different spelling. Think, Sophia versus Sofia. Grandmother is apparently super upset and says that grandchild is not her namesake and she is saddened. We just liked the alternative spelling better. I didn't think too much of it at the time, but years later still gets raised out of the blue. What is DCurbanmom collective wisdom on whether it was a "mistake" not to use the same spelling as the namesake.

For me, it would depend whether the honoree’s name was transliterated from another alphabet. If grandma was Sofia in Russian, then either Sofia or Sophia are acceptable transliterations from the Cyrillic alphabet. I knew an Armenian woman named that and either spelling was fine with her — it’s a different alphabet entirely in Armenian. If grandma was actually named Sofia by people who use the Latin alphabet, I can understand it would be kinda weird to spell it different and claim to honor her.

It isn't a namesake with a different spelling. The spelling is the name. I had this argument with DH years ago and went with the actual spelling of the person we were honoring.

Both my mom and MIL have middle name Ann. We gave DD middle name Anne, which I like better. Obviously we used the name in their honor but I get crap about it from each of them about once a year. It annoys me for 10 min and then I decide not to give into their pettiness.

We named our daughter after her grandmother (my mother), but used a different spelling. Think, Sophia versus Sofia. Grandmother is apparently super upset and says that grandchild is not her namesake and she is saddened. We just liked the alternative spelling better. I didn't think too much of it at the time, but years later still gets raised out of the blue. What is DCurbanmom collective wisdom on whether it was a "mistake" not to use the same spelling as the namesake.