Anonymous wrote:Outsource the laundry. I hired a twice weekly housekeeper who does the laundry, and it has been awesome. Gives me more time, takes weight off DH (felt bad about the work imbalance). Cheaper than couples therapy.

OP doesn't want solutions, she wants to complain. I can not imagine that outsourcing the laundry, cleaning, or cooking aren't options discussed in her SES circle. I know they are common themes in the 100k to 200k HHI income bracket very frequently.

A family member's wife, who is a SAHW (no kids) complained that her husband had not packed his share of the house for the upcoming move. I listened and just shook my head.

Outsource the laundry. I hired a twice weekly housekeeper who does the laundry, and it has been awesome. Gives me more time, takes weight off DH (felt bad about the work imbalance). Cheaper than couples therapy.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you should certainly bring it up.

In my family our scenarios are reversed (I, DW, make more). I wake up at 5am and get home by 6pm so I can be with the kids and family. Then when they go to bed at 8pm, I'm back on the computer as long as I can stand it. He doesn't work after leaving the office. Believe me, DH would have ZERO problem bringing up workload allocations to me just because he makes less. In fact, I'd say our workload around the house was equal.

I make the sacrifice of sleep/personal time in order to be there for my kids and family. People make the choices that are right for them, but if you feel like his particular schedule could be modified somewhat, you should say it. You could also suggest small changes, like he gets home to do an activity with the kids, and then gets back on the computer, or he picks 1 weeknight each week to be home by 5:30, etc. Sometimes small changes have a large impact.

And realize that these things can have consequences for him career-wise. Nothing exists in a vacuum.

Anonymous wrote:OP, the title of your post - it is about the tenth one this week. Do you keep posting? If so, STOP. No one cares. And no one wants your husband.

What? No I have not posted before. What other posts are there? Sorry for the repeat content though.

OP, you should certainly bring it up.

In my family our scenarios are reversed (I, DW, make more). I wake up at 5am and get home by 6pm so I can be with the kids and family. Then when they go to bed at 8pm, I'm back on the computer as long as I can stand it. He doesn't work after leaving the office. Believe me, DH would have ZERO problem bringing up workload allocations to me just because he makes less. In fact, I'd say our workload around the house was equal.

I make the sacrifice of sleep/personal time in order to be there for my kids and family. People make the choices that are right for them, but if you feel like his particular schedule could be modified somewhat, you should say it. You could also suggest small changes, like he gets home to do an activity with the kids, and then gets back on the computer, or he picks 1 weeknight each week to be home by 5:30, etc. Sometimes small changes have a large impact.

Anonymous wrote:No. I can complain about anything I want.

With consequences

--signed a woman who can see the forest

OP, the title of your post - it is about the tenth one this week. Do you keep posting? If so, STOP. No one cares. And no one wants your husband.

No. I can complain about anything I want.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its the trade off of him making a lot of money. Hire a housekeeper and babysitter if you need help.

+100. You do not have the normal stressors that come with having a much lower HHI. Seek out all of the wonderful options for outsourcing things that are available in this area.

You can easily outsource the laundry. They will wash, fold, and bag up the clothes for you. I live in a lower to middle class area and there are a ton of these services in the local laundromat. Please be resourceful.

And please keep in mind, there are many women that would love to be in your shoes and gladly take your place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its the trade off of him making a lot of money. Hire a housekeeper and babysitter if you need help.

+100. You do not have the normal stressors that come with having a much lower HHI. Seek out all of the wonderful options for outsourcing things that are available in this area.

You can easily outsource the laundry. They will wash, fold, and bag up the clothes for you. I live in a lower to middle class area and there are a ton of these services in the local laundromat. Please be resourceful.

Anonymous wrote:Its the trade off of him making a lot of money. Hire a housekeeper and babysitter if you need help.

+100. You do not have the normal stressors that come with having a much lower HHI. Seek out all of the wonderful options for outsourcing things that are available in this area.

So why are you complaining? Do you think your DH would love to hear you whining about the kids and laundry? I don't think so. Don't complain unless you want something resolved. It is what it is. If your husband was a loser earning minimum wage, then yes complain.

i think it is healthy that each of you can vent, with the invitation for the other person to do so as well. As long as you are acknowleding his long hours and lack of time with the kids and family (not as blame, but as empathy)... you can to

and yes, we make about 60% of what you do, but have a babysitter/housekeeper who helps out a ton--I dont feel guilty at all as it has taken a lot of stress out of our life and is cheaper than therapy or divorce.

Its the trade off of him making a lot of money. Hire a housekeeper and babysitter if you need help.

Do you sometimes feel like you can't complain about things to your husbands because they are working so hard to provide for your family?

My DH makes good money (probably close to $400k this year) and I make much less ($60k). Due to this imbalance I end up being the default parent (which is expected and was previously communicated between both parties) and do most of the stuff around the house. I am actually fine with this since I WAH and can do all of the cooking, laundry, basic cleaning and kid stuff while I am at home. I do all pick ups, drop offs, doctor appointments, bedtimes, etc. DH works A LOT right now and I know that he is making sacrifices so that we can provide for our family and hopefully provide a good future for our children.

There are some times though when I feel like I just can't complain about the menial things I do around the house or with my job because I don't want to both my DH or annoy him with trivial things. He wakes up early (5:30) and gets home late (8pm usually) and then lately has been working until bed time. He tries to see the kids before bed every night but sometimes doesn't make it home until after they go to sleep.

Do any other wives feel this way?