If you are thinking about this already, just imagine what will happen when your DC starts looking at colleges. Just send your DC to the best school that they get into, and that you can afford. If you have the $ saved up for their education and your retirement, go for the best. That's what we did!

We did, passed on several top 20 schools. I was torn and struggled with the decision. My DC also struggled a bit. I had lots of student debt and did not want DC to be ham strung by it. One night I looked at the financial paperwork for prestige U and it really hit me. $300 k for undergrad! Even the top state U that I graduated from would have been 240 k. So we choose a school with the most merit aid that was top ranked in DC’s major.

It was the best decision for us, older parents who still need to save some for retirement. Everyday, I become more confident that we made the right choice. DC is doing well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Financially responsible families who fall in the doughnut-hole will do this. Better off going to the Honors College of a strong state U and saving the money for grad school.

Also depends so much on what your child wants to do. My best friend's son went to an Ivy and she really struggled with the decision to spend so much but his goal is to work on Wall St. so the Ivy offered a clear benefit and for that field probably is worth the investmnet. In contrast, my sister turned down U of Penn for a state U -- she wanted to be a nurse and Pen offered no aid. Hospitals don't care where you went to college as long as it's an accredited program so it would have been stupid to go into debt for a nursing degree.

There is no “donut hole” if one is financially responsible. That is kind of the point.

It certainly is financiallly responsible to save regularly and still not save enough for a private school with no merit aid.

I'm asking for no pity that my kid couldn't go to a private school without merit aid, but your claim is naive. Plus, we value grad school more than most -- more important to me to have funds for that than it is for my kid to go to any specific college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Financially responsible families who fall in the doughnut-hole will do this. Better off going to the Honors College of a strong state U and saving the money for grad school.

Also depends so much on what your child wants to do. My best friend's son went to an Ivy and she really struggled with the decision to spend so much but his goal is to work on Wall St. so the Ivy offered a clear benefit and for that field probably is worth the investmnet. In contrast, my sister turned down U of Penn for a state U -- she wanted to be a nurse and Pen offered no aid. Hospitals don't care where you went to college as long as it's an accredited program so it would have been stupid to go into debt for a nursing degree.

There is no “donut hole” if one is financially responsible. That is kind of the point.

So speaks the poster who has no clue what the real world is like.

Pray, tell, what are the donut hole families supposed to do? Sacrifice all their retirement savings just for a fancy college? Or take on a second mortgage? There's a thing called life and it's damn expensive and that's not even figuring in college. Being financially responsible is making sure you have enough retirement savings and paying down your mortgage and providing your family with a safe and decent place to live and ensuring there's food on the table. A fancy college is strictly a privilege, not a right. And guess what, a fancy college does virtually nothing in terms of advancement compared to a good state school for a highly capable student.

I turned down an Ivy League to go to a state school tuition free. I am so happy because in 2009 I was able to graduate debt free. It hasn’t held me back either. I just casually state I got a perfect math score on my SATs during an interview.

I grew up in Northern CA so it happened very frequently because the Big State U that was chosen almost always was UC Berkeley.

"My best friend's son went to an Ivy and she really struggled with the decision to spend so much but his goal is to work on Wall St. so the Ivy offered a clear benefit and for that field probably is worth the investmnet."

This is part of the problem I have. This makes sense for an adult who actually knows what they want to do. But having sent two to college and watched what happened, I don't believe it applies to many kids.

Anonymous wrote:Financially responsible families who fall in the doughnut-hole will do this. Better off going to the Honors College of a strong state U and saving the money for grad school.

Also depends so much on what your child wants to do. My best friend's son went to an Ivy and she really struggled with the decision to spend so much but his goal is to work on Wall St. so the Ivy offered a clear benefit and for that field probably is worth the investmnet. In contrast, my sister turned down U of Penn for a state U -- she wanted to be a nurse and Pen offered no aid. Hospitals don't care where you went to college as long as it's an accredited program so it would have been stupid to go into debt for a nursing degree.

There is no “donut hole” if one is financially responsible. That is kind of the point.

Financially responsible families who fall in the doughnut-hole will do this. Better off going to the Honors College of a strong state U and saving the money for grad school.

Also depends so much on what your child wants to do. My best friend's son went to an Ivy and she really struggled with the decision to spend so much but his goal is to work on Wall St. so the Ivy offered a clear benefit and for that field probably is worth the investmnet. In contrast, my sister turned down U of Penn for a state U -- she wanted to be a nurse and Pen offered no aid. Hospitals don't care where you went to college as long as it's an accredited program so it would have been stupid to go into debt for a nursing degree.

Some do. That's always been the case even when the top schools were cheaper.

But it's also a self-selecting pool. Plenty of people don't bother applying to Ivies or other top colleges because they know they won't qualify for aid and only apply to the flagship state universities.

Quietly work on your perception of your child as an extension of yourself and a status symbol. Now, while your kid is a bit younger.

If private is what you want, you will have a problem regardless of whether it is Ivy or a lower ranked private institution.

The kind that thinks about grad school. Some top students choose state college, get into the honors program, then go to grad school and save 200K in the process.

You will pay if he/she gets in. You are thinking about, so you will pay. More like 80-90k per year by that time.

And we can afford it, but do you do everything you can afford? Obviously not.

I've always thought Big State U would be preferable for DC financial reasons. I mean, really, $70,000 a year? For 4 years? For what exactly? But I went to a Top 10-15 school (yeah it was like $20K then) and I'm having a hard time sticking to my frugal principles now that high school is approaching for DC. And a lot of it, I'm being honest here, has to do with status and how I'll feel saying DC is going to an Ivy or whatever. And how DC will feel. It's a normal human reaction, everyone considers status to some degree throughout their day so don't judge people!!! But does this happen often that kids turn down the > $70K school for the < $30K school? Can I ignore the siren song of the Ivy League? And yes, obviously DC may not get in but let's just say for argument's sake DC is admitted. And because DH and I are alumni, evidently DC will have to apply early to get the alumni bump so we can't just apply to both Top 10 and BSU and see what happens.