Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know they can also just use their friends phones for social media and lie to you and because its not your phone you have no control.

But they'll do this anyway. If a parent gets a phone and limits social media the kid will use a friend's phone.
Are you saying this is hopeless? Perhaps we should just give up and let the kids use whatever they want because they'll find a way to do it anyway?
At least if I don't get the phone, they won't have it during all the hours they're in my house.

No, I'm saying you teach them proper use, you put restrictions on the phone, limit access to the internet and app store, etc. You have all text go to your phone or your iPad, etc. They don't have to have it all the time at home, it can stay on the counter or by the door charging except when you give permission. Parent. Pushing off what is going to happen anyway or they will sneak around you isn't going to help as much as you think. My kids know if they go on social media or something I don't approve of and find out they lose their phones. Simple. You keep their account passwords, and if they refuse, they lose the phone. You are on their friends list and if not they lose the phone.

But why do I need to get them a phone at all at this age?

We gave our 7th grader a flip phone. He will be getting a smart phone in 8th grade with a ton of parental controls.

I agree with the PPs who say that you shouldn't feel pressured into it. I don't see anything in your post that suggests it's necessary. They aren't using friends' phones unless they need to call you in a rare emergency. I don't see this as an issue.

We do dumb phones at age 11/6th grade.

Basic smart phone in 8th if they can take care of the dumb phone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know they can also just use their friends phones for social media and lie to you and because its not your phone you have no control.

But they'll do this anyway. If a parent gets a phone and limits social media the kid will use a friend's phone.
Are you saying this is hopeless? Perhaps we should just give up and let the kids use whatever they want because they'll find a way to do it anyway?
At least if I don't get the phone, they won't have it during all the hours they're in my house.

No, I'm saying you teach them proper use, you put restrictions on the phone, limit access to the internet and app store, etc. You have all text go to your phone or your iPad, etc. They don't have to have it all the time at home, it can stay on the counter or by the door charging except when you give permission. Parent. Pushing off what is going to happen anyway or they will sneak around you isn't going to help as much as you think. My kids know if they go on social media or something I don't approve of and find out they lose their phones. Simple. You keep their account passwords, and if they refuse, they lose the phone. You are on their friends list and if not they lose the phone.

Anonymous wrote:You know they can also just use their friends phones for social media and lie to you and because its not your phone you have no control.

But they'll do this anyway. If a parent gets a phone and limits social media the kid will use a friend's phone.
Are you saying this is hopeless? Perhaps we should just give up and let the kids use whatever they want because they'll find a way to do it anyway?
At least if I don't get the phone, they won't have it during all the hours they're in my house.

OP, don't listen to the naysayers. We held out til Christmas of 8th grade with no ill effects. And I wish we could have held out longer. Once you get them one, there is no going back.

My 7th grader does not have a cell phone.

The reason is that if we get him one, we would probably want to do a family plan with data and internet, sync our calendars, and generally drag ourselves into the 21st century... whereas now my husband and I are still functioning on old cell phones that have been given to us and don't have data plans, just phone and text.

So it's the expense of it all, that makes us pause.
At some point we'll get to it. It's not our priority.

Anonymous wrote:You know they can also just use their friends phones for social media and lie to you and because its not your phone you have no control.

But they'll do this anyway. If a parent gets a phone and limits social media they'll use a friend's phone.
Are you saying that i should just get them the phone and allow free reign? Are you saying this is hopeless?
At least if I don't get the phone, they won't have it during all the hours they're in my house.

You know they can also just use their friends phones for social media and lie to you and because its not your phone you have no control.

Anonymous wrote:I don't want your kid on my child's phone. Get your own. If your child breaks mine, they who pays for it? Use common sense. Supervise them and monitor what is on the phone. Kids are on instagram as parents don't care or aren't supervising.

Wow, most of these kids have been to my house for days on end. Dozens of hours. I have fed them many, many meals. I have taken them on vacation with us. Thankfully their parents are my good friends and don't resent my kid using their phone once every other month.

Both our kids got their first phones in Dec of 7th grade. The delay had no ill effects. Neither kid uses any social media or seemed inclined to binge on screen time after finally getting phones.

My son got his last year for his 13th birthday.

I don't want your kid on my child's phone. Get your own. If your child breaks mine, they who pays for it? Use common sense. Supervise them and monitor what is on the phone. Kids are on instagram as parents don't care or aren't supervising.

My 5th grade b/g twins don't have cell phones. Originally I had said we'd get them phones for middle school but now I'm hoping to delay them another few years.
As it stands, they walk home from school with friends several days per week. If they need to call me after school (exceedingly rare) they borrow a friends' phone or call from the school office.
They're both in travel sports so they're busy most afternoons. After practice they come home and do homework. On the weekends they have a ton of sleepovers and play dates so they're very social kids. I know they're exposed to things on friends' phones but I
really don't want them on Instagram constantly like I see so many kids. Am I being realistic? Anyone else delay phones or at least smart phones until 7th grade+?