Does she have an (or some) answer(s) to the “What do you want to be when you grow up?” question? I can imagine a kid who can answer that but doesn't know what s/he wants to major in. If that’s your kid, it’d give you something to work with.

I hate the “college as vacation” mentality too, but I don’t really see how gap year avoids that and I think community college could be downright counterproductive. Basically, I guess it comes down to whether you see college as a place where you explore career options or as a vocational school. For a kid who doesn’t have a vocation, gap year and/or CC don’t seem like promising places to find one. It’d be different if the kid had a specific gap year plan that enabled her to test a risky career choice. Or was burn out after HS. Or needed some time to make $ to help fund college. But it doesn’t solve “aimless.” And “aimless” isn't particularly scary at this age (when they haven’t seen a lots of different kinds of jobs and when even the focused kids often change their minds after being exposed to new options). And community college isn’t going to show her much she hasn’t already seen in HS.

So encourage the “I can thrive anywhere” mentality. Honestly, that seems like a strength. Look for schools that are well-rounded and have lots of interesting programs whose relationships to actual jobs are fairly clear. Madison and Syracuse stand out for me in that respect and Northeastern’s emphasis on internships seems like it might be helpful. Santa Cruz, probably not so much.

Anonymous wrote:Which state and provide her stats. Can she get into your IS flagship?

+1

A gap year is a terrible idea for most students. Why does DCUM suggest it so often?

Can you just let her decide? Your description makes her seem wishy-washy and unhurried. Let her step up and make some decisions instead of relying on you to do her planning.

I suggest a gap year too

This is why God (or parents) created gaps years and CC to 4 year college paths. No way am I paying $70,000a year for a kid to attend a college based on hot chocolate and cute boots. And I don’t blame your kid. It’s a lot to expect a 16 or 17 year old to have what they want in a college nailed down. I think a lot of kids go to the best state U they can get into or go where they are a legacy, or to the ivy that accepts them, or the highest rated school that accepts them. I don’t think lots of kids really put the thought into college they should.

We work on a timeline in our house. My sophomore got a list of things to consider from me (including how much we would be able to afford and resources— college confidential, unlocked US News, etc. he had until March 1 to come up with a college profile. Large vs small. Rural vs urban. Greek or not. Etc. he now has until April 15 to pick 10 colleges he thinks might work. Starting Place, not a final list. And so on. Even so, I have my doubts about whether he will be ready to make a good choice.

I know lots of kids whose parents have told them they are aiming for UVA or VT or whatever. And lots of kids who apply to top xx schools and take what they get. That’s one way to go. A gap year can be a good choice. Community college to state U can work.

Personally, I would give the kid a gap year to mature some (I want to go to college near a farmers market is not mature) or for for UVA, etc and save the difference for grad school tuition, etc.

Where do you want to retire to and/or where would you be happy to visit regularly, LOL? Lots of people end up settling in the same region where they went to college.

Look at graduation rates at 4 and 5 years and by major. Having a strong cohort that is moving along in a timely manner is a huge positive-particularly for students who aren't super academically motivated.

Which state and provide her stats. Can she get into your IS flagship?

Whoops ...

What direction do I nudge her in?

[b]
Community college for two years to get general credits out of the way and to explore ideas of what she is interested in. Then an in-state school. There is no reason to pay a lot of money out of state for a "vacation" somewhere. Until she has some idea of what she wants to do, she is better off saving money and figuring it out.

Did you go to public? If you/she would be satisfied going to a state university, apply widely. Apply to some with early rolling admission. Don't fall in love until costs are known, until acceptances are in and merit aid is known. Apply to 10-12 schools in different geographic areas including a couple in-state in case she decides she want to stay close, or incase a financial safety is needed.

Has she visited any campuses?

She kind of doesn't care where she goes. She has said "I'm easy-going; I can thrive anywhere" and it's true. Not Ivy material, doesn't care if the school is big or small, doesn't care about Greek life, doesn't want a huge party atmosphere or super religious place.

When I say "What about Northeastern?" she talks about hot chocolate and cute boots and fun parts of Boston.
When I say "What about UC Santa Cruz?" she talks about surfing and hiking and farmer's markets.
When I say "What about schools in the deep South?" she talks about slower speech and manners and Draper James.

She truly WOULD be happy anywhere. Has no idea what she wants to major in. What direction do I nudge her in?