Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I broach the subject of my wife's frequently bad breath and every-other-day shower habits affecting our intimacy? Honestly, sometimes I simply have to turn my head lying in bed. Also, keeping it clean and trim downstairs would be nice for other activities...

Is this real? B/c it sounds like an exact reversal of complaints women have of their men.

It does. In those threads, the women get advice to be direct and just tell the guy he needs to shower more, brush his teeth more, use mouthwash more. It is usually assumed the guy is an immature slob and needs his wife to just tell him straight up to grow up and take better care of his hygiene like an adult.

But women can't take that sort of direct advice ... seriously (said as a woman). A DH needs to be softer in his approach to get his wife to shower more (seriously? I would shower 3x/day if I had the chance). It just sounds SO exactly like what a woman would complain about of a husband (and SO exactly NOT like what a husband would complain about his wife) that it sounds wrong.

So will there be some chest beating by the folks saying "if this were reversed blah blah blah so sexist blah blah blah women suck!" ? Stay tuned.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How often DOES she shower? It's very rare for non-depressed professional women to not shower daily.

OP here. She probably showers first thing in the morning MOST days. Thing is, she never makes any effort to clean up before potential relations occur. The other day we went to bed early, which usually portends intimacy. When I get close she forewarns against anything getting to intense, as she hasn't showered that day. If this were only occasionally, it wouldn't be a big deal, but is it too much to rinse off in the shower before heading to bed every now and then. I certainly do...

First the problem was she showers every other day, and now it's that she doesn't shower twice a day? It sounds like you have some squeamishness around natural body odors if she showered in the morning but you'd like her to "freshen up" again before sex, and you do the same. That's overkill.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How often DOES she shower? It's very rare for non-depressed professional women to not shower daily.

It's right in the OP that she showers every other day...

Yep, saw that. Sorry!

But OP has she always been this way? Does she have a job outside the home? Is she depressed?

I don't think showering every other day is a sign of depression. All over the world, people don't shower every day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I broach the subject of my wife's frequently bad breath and every-other-day shower habits affecting our intimacy? Honestly, sometimes I simply have to turn my head lying in bed. Also, keeping it clean and trim downstairs would be nice for other activities...

Is this real? B/c it sounds like an exact reversal of complaints women have of their men.

It does. In those threads, the women get advice to be direct and just tell the guy he needs to shower more, brush his teeth more, use mouthwash more. It is usually assumed the guy is an immature slob and needs his wife to just tell him straight up to grow up and take better care of his hygiene like an adult.

Anonymous wrote:How often DOES she shower? It's very rare for non-depressed professional women to not shower daily.

OP here. She probably showers first thing in the morning MOST days. Thing is, she never makes any effort to clean up before potential relations occur. The other day we went to bed early, which usually portends intimacy. When I get close she forewarns against anything getting to intense, as she hasn't showered that day. If this were only occasionally, it wouldn't be a big deal, but is it too much to rinse off in the shower before heading to bed every now and then. I certainly do...

If she hasn't always been this way, find out why she's depressed. This is not normal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How often DOES she shower? It's very rare for non-depressed professional women to not shower daily.

It's right in the OP that she showers every other day...

Yep, saw that. Sorry!

But OP has she always been this way? Does she have a job outside the home? Is she depressed?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I broach the subject of my wife's frequently bad breath and every-other-day shower habits affecting our intimacy? Honestly, sometimes I simply have to turn my head lying in bed. Also, keeping it clean and trim downstairs would be nice for other activities...

Is this real? B/c it sounds like an exact reversal of complaints women have of their men.

I believe it. DH says I have bad breath. I was stubborn about it at first (in denial) but now I make an effort to brush more often (more than twice/day) or use mouthwash to freshen up.

Halitosis is a treatable disorder. Showering every other day is better for your skin in the winter. The answer to your question is: with empathy and an open mind.

Anonymous wrote:How often DOES she shower? It's very rare for non-depressed professional women to not shower daily.

It's right in the OP that she showers every other day...

Anonymous wrote:How do I broach the subject of my wife's frequently bad breath and every-other-day shower habits affecting our intimacy? Honestly, sometimes I simply have to turn my head lying in bed. Also, keeping it clean and trim downstairs would be nice for other activities...

Is this real? B/c it sounds like an exact reversal of complaints women have of their men.

Also did she have good hygiene when you MET her? You sure she's not depressed or overwhelmed (new baby, etc)?

How often DOES she shower? It's very rare for non-depressed professional women to not shower daily.

compliment her when she does it. positive reinforcement.

How do I broach the subject of my wife's frequently bad breath and every-other-day shower habits affecting our intimacy? Honestly, sometimes I simply have to turn my head lying in bed. Also, keeping it clean and trim downstairs would be nice for other activities...