Anonymous
02/19/2018 10:45
Subject: Sibling moving from deceased parents home
Anonymous wrote:I posted this question in another forum but it got blown out of portion so I'll ask here.
I'm the executor of my fathers estate but I still have a 55 year old brother that lives at my parents home. This sibling is financially secure and can easily afford to buy a new home on his own, just not this one because of cost. I also have 4 siblings that live on there own, some of which that can use this inheritance money to improve the quality of there life plus kids college costs. I have no real money issues so I'm in no hurry to sell this house. BUT, I know at some point my siblings will want this brother to move out so we can sell the house and move on.
My question is, how much time is fair to give him to find a new place to live? A month, 6 months, 12 months, as long as he needs? And before you start in on me, no one is being money hungry, I'm just trying to be fair with everyone and attempting to keep peace in the family.
OP we went through this exact thing two years ago. I got totally lambasted on DCUM....was accused of being evil, and money-hungry. Just ignore them.
In our case there was a total of 4 siblings, 3 of which wanted to sell. I should also add that my FIL's will clearly stated that the house should be sold upon his passing. We had to eventually evict sibling #4 who refused to move out of the house which she wasn't even taking care of. It had fallen into total disrepair.
The eviction process took a year. She refuses to take her portion of the proceeds of the sale. whatever....
Anonymous
02/19/2018 10:27
Subject: Sibling moving from deceased parents home
Wasn't this posted before?
Anonymous
02/19/2018 10:24
Subject: Sibling moving from deceased parents home
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, It's all about legal. It's not about anyone being "money hungry", it's about doing things legally. You as executor must do the right thing legally. Your siblings should be insisting - legally - that brother move from the house so is can be sold (could be to him). The estate needs to be settled and closed. If you don't understand that, I as a sibling, would act to have you legally removed as executor.
Yes. The other siblings have not insisted that the brother be removed, so why the hurry? Your brother, you and all your siblings need to have a meeting with calm heads first and come to a resolution. For all you know, your other siblings are grateful that the brother was living with parents and they were not alone.
Per op's original post, the father has not yet passed. Op is planning ahead.
Anonymous
02/19/2018 10:12
Subject: Sibling moving from deceased parents home
Anonymous wrote:I haven't seen the postings on the previous thread, so I hope I'm not repeating what others have said.
Your brother lived with your elderly parents? I'm sure it was extremely beneficial for your parents, at the same time that your brother was probably content to stay with mom and dad. However, if your parents had had to enter an assisted living facility, they would have been paying something in the ballpark of $7,000-$10,000 a month, per individual, to the tune of a minimum of $84,000 per year, per parent. He also gave them the gift of staying at home in their old age. Don't know what their health situation was, but it's wretched having to enter a facility due to health issues. It's wretched having to live in one of those facilities, period. He surely provided quite a bit of care to your parents, and comfort, and the ability to stay in their own home and to sleep in their own bed. That's BIG.
Therefore, be merciful with him. Be as merciful as you can be. Don't throw him out in a month, or in three months. I think one year is reasonable.
Maybe even give him the opportunity to buy the house from the estate. Maybe even cut him a break on what the market value is on the house. Remember, he saved something in the ballpark of $84,000/per year, per parent, for your parents. So maybe you can take that into consideration when you set the price you would like to sell the house for. If you calculate what his share is of the estate, and add to that some of the funds that would have gone to pay for a nursing home or in-home care, do you think it might be possible for your brother to buy the house? Does he even want to stay in the house?
That's my take on your situation, but I don't know all the details.
It may be true that the brother helped the parents, but the brother also benefited, did he not? A free place to live? Is that not a huge benefit as well he may have received in return for helping with the parents?
Anonymous
02/19/2018 09:46
Subject: Sibling moving from deceased parents home
If your parents left a lot of stuff behind in the house, you should probably offer to help your brother pare it down - sell stuff, donate it, throw away things that are not usable. That takes time to do and the burden of getting it all done shouldn't be placed on the brother still living in the home. You will also need to help him get the place ready to sell (painting, sprucing up the yard, etc).
Since this has been his long term home and his life is being upended with having to move, be gentle with him. He has lost a lot already.
Since this has been his long term home and his life is being upended with having to move, be gentle with him. He has lost a lot already.
Anonymous
02/19/2018 09:28
Subject: Sibling moving from deceased parents home
^^^^ She is the executor and needs to follow the parents instructions in the will. If the parents didn’t leave the brother a life estate and instead gave everything to the siblings equally, it’s time for the brother’s free ride to end. She has a duty to sell the house and divide the proceeds.
Anonymous
02/19/2018 08:44
Subject: Sibling moving from deceased parents home
I haven't seen the postings on the previous thread, so I hope I'm not repeating what others have said.
Your brother lived with your elderly parents? I'm sure it was extremely beneficial for your parents, at the same time that your brother was probably content to stay with mom and dad. However, if your parents had had to enter an assisted living facility, they would have been paying something in the ballpark of $7,000-$10,000 a month, per individual, to the tune of a minimum of $84,000 per year, per parent. He also gave them the gift of staying at home in their old age. Don't know what their health situation was, but it's wretched having to enter a facility due to health issues. It's wretched having to live in one of those facilities, period. He surely provided quite a bit of care to your parents, and comfort, and the ability to stay in their own home and to sleep in their own bed. That's BIG.
Therefore, be merciful with him. Be as merciful as you can be. Don't throw him out in a month, or in three months. I think one year is reasonable.
Maybe even give him the opportunity to buy the house from the estate. Maybe even cut him a break on what the market value is on the house. Remember, he saved something in the ballpark of $84,000/per year, per parent, for your parents. So maybe you can take that into consideration when you set the price you would like to sell the house for. If you calculate what his share is of the estate, and add to that some of the funds that would have gone to pay for a nursing home or in-home care, do you think it might be possible for your brother to buy the house? Does he even want to stay in the house?
That's my take on your situation, but I don't know all the details.
Your brother lived with your elderly parents? I'm sure it was extremely beneficial for your parents, at the same time that your brother was probably content to stay with mom and dad. However, if your parents had had to enter an assisted living facility, they would have been paying something in the ballpark of $7,000-$10,000 a month, per individual, to the tune of a minimum of $84,000 per year, per parent. He also gave them the gift of staying at home in their old age. Don't know what their health situation was, but it's wretched having to enter a facility due to health issues. It's wretched having to live in one of those facilities, period. He surely provided quite a bit of care to your parents, and comfort, and the ability to stay in their own home and to sleep in their own bed. That's BIG.
Therefore, be merciful with him. Be as merciful as you can be. Don't throw him out in a month, or in three months. I think one year is reasonable.
Maybe even give him the opportunity to buy the house from the estate. Maybe even cut him a break on what the market value is on the house. Remember, he saved something in the ballpark of $84,000/per year, per parent, for your parents. So maybe you can take that into consideration when you set the price you would like to sell the house for. If you calculate what his share is of the estate, and add to that some of the funds that would have gone to pay for a nursing home or in-home care, do you think it might be possible for your brother to buy the house? Does he even want to stay in the house?
That's my take on your situation, but I don't know all the details.
Anonymous
02/19/2018 08:17
Subject: Sibling moving from deceased parents home
Have you asked your brother what he thinks is reasonable? Has he already made it clear he does not want to move?
Anonymous
02/19/2018 08:16
Subject: Sibling moving from deceased parents home
Anonymous wrote:OP, It's all about legal. It's not about anyone being "money hungry", it's about doing things legally. You as executor must do the right thing legally. Your siblings should be insisting - legally - that brother move from the house so is can be sold (could be to him). The estate needs to be settled and closed. If you don't understand that, I as a sibling, would act to have you legally removed as executor.
Yes. The other siblings have not insisted that the brother be removed, so why the hurry? Your brother, you and all your siblings need to have a meeting with calm heads first and come to a resolution. For all you know, your other siblings are grateful that the brother was living with parents and they were not alone.
Anonymous
02/19/2018 08:12
Subject: Sibling moving from deceased parents home
OP, It's all about legal. It's not about anyone being "money hungry", it's about doing things legally. You as executor must do the right thing legally. Your siblings should be insisting - legally - that brother move from the house so is can be sold (could be to him). The estate needs to be settled and closed. If you don't understand that, I as a sibling, would act to have you legally removed as executor.
Anonymous
02/19/2018 08:02
Subject: Sibling moving from deceased parents home
If the sibling is financially secure, ask if he wants to buy the house directly from the estate.
based on my experience as an agent, contact a lawyer immediately. Your brother can dig in his heels and make it difficult to sell. One son in this circumstances banded together with older neighbors to have a tree on the lot declared historic so that a small house could not be expanded or torn down because of the tree's position on the lot.
Each of the 3 siblings had to bribe the brother to move because the County was on the brink of condemning the house and they had to preserve it so that it could be refurbished and at least sold for a lesser amount.
based on my experience as an agent, contact a lawyer immediately. Your brother can dig in his heels and make it difficult to sell. One son in this circumstances banded together with older neighbors to have a tree on the lot declared historic so that a small house could not be expanded or torn down because of the tree's position on the lot.
Each of the 3 siblings had to bribe the brother to move because the County was on the brink of condemning the house and they had to preserve it so that it could be refurbished and at least sold for a lesser amount.
Anonymous
02/19/2018 06:36
Subject: Re:Sibling moving from deceased parents home
A year is reasonable. He has lived there his whole life.
Anonymous
02/19/2018 06:14
Subject: Sibling moving from deceased parents home
Generally, I'd say a year. I assume this is not in a state with a low threshold for an estate tax? My dad died in NY a few years ago, and they have an estate tax for estates over $1mil, which can easily be hit in an area with high property values. That has to be paid 9 months after the death, so that circumstance could create a need to sell the house earlier.
Is the brother working? Are there other cash assets to the estate? Are you sure the brother couldn't get a mortgage and buy everyone else out?
Is the brother working? Are there other cash assets to the estate? Are you sure the brother couldn't get a mortgage and buy everyone else out?
Anonymous
02/19/2018 04:19
Subject: Sibling moving from deceased parents home
Was this brother a primary care giver for your parents? Was he living with them to absorb cost of elderly care?
We would need to know more about the circumstances of the situation.
We would need to know more about the circumstances of the situation.
Anonymous
02/19/2018 02:20
Subject: Sibling moving from deceased parents home
I posted this question in another forum but it got blown out of portion so I'll ask here.
I'm the executor of my fathers estate but I still have a 55 year old brother that lives at my parents home. This sibling is financially secure and can easily afford to buy a new home on his own, just not this one because of cost. I also have 4 siblings that live on there own, some of which that can use this inheritance money to improve the quality of there life plus kids college costs. I have no real money issues so I'm in no hurry to sell this house. BUT, I know at some point my siblings will want this brother to move out so we can sell the house and move on.
My question is, how much time is fair to give him to find a new place to live? A month, 6 months, 12 months, as long as he needs? And before you start in on me, no one is being money hungry, I'm just trying to be fair with everyone and attempting to keep peace in the family.
I'm the executor of my fathers estate but I still have a 55 year old brother that lives at my parents home. This sibling is financially secure and can easily afford to buy a new home on his own, just not this one because of cost. I also have 4 siblings that live on there own, some of which that can use this inheritance money to improve the quality of there life plus kids college costs. I have no real money issues so I'm in no hurry to sell this house. BUT, I know at some point my siblings will want this brother to move out so we can sell the house and move on.
My question is, how much time is fair to give him to find a new place to live? A month, 6 months, 12 months, as long as he needs? And before you start in on me, no one is being money hungry, I'm just trying to be fair with everyone and attempting to keep peace in the family.