Anonymous
Post 02/17/2018 12:04     Subject: Re:I told my husband brutal the truth
Anonymous wrote:I would agree to that, and then figure out my own exit plan to maximize my own benefit at your expense. Not because that’s what I would always do in the case of divorce, but because you would deserve it for your callous attitude and selfishness. Why give you a heads up when you’ve just treated me so shoddily?

Get your ducks in a row, OP.

+100
Brutal has no place in a marriage, even if the love is gone, and the fact that OP was so anxious to get this word in the title of the post that she put it in the wrong place is telling.
But by all means OP keep on thinking that you "won".
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2018 12:03     Subject: Re:I told my husband brutal the truth
Anonymous wrote:I would agree to that, and then figure out my own exit plan to maximize my own benefit at your expense. Not because that’s what I would always do in the case of divorce, but because you would deserve it for your callous attitude and selfishness. Why give you a heads up when you’ve just treated me so shoddily?

Get your ducks in a row, OP.


Why do you consider telling the truth treating someone shoddily?
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2018 12:03     Subject: I told my husband brutal the truth
Anonymous wrote:Why would he agree to essentially help increase my net worth over the next year or so knowing that I plan to leave when I feel back on my feet? Has anyone else experienced that before?


If your net worth / income increases, then his potential spousal and child support decreases. It is in his interest to have you as self-sufficient as possible so he doesn't have to pay you.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2018 12:01     Subject: I told my husband brutal the truth
"I do think he feels it is to his advantage to essentially pay for a reduction in drama and headache."


He didn't feel it was worth reducing drama and headache the whole time he was married to you, so why now? His response to the relationship with you was to check out, gain weight, focus on himself, etc... he probably wants this at least as much as you.

What are you responsible for in the deterioration of your marriage?
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2018 11:56     Subject: Re:I told my husband brutal the truth
I would agree to that, and then figure out my own exit plan to maximize my own benefit at your expense. Not because that’s what I would always do in the case of divorce, but because you would deserve it for your callous attitude and selfishness. Why give you a heads up when you’ve just treated me so shoddily?

Get your ducks in a row, OP.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2018 11:55     Subject: I told my husband brutal the truth
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I told him the truth - that I don't love him anymore (finally gave up trying to after years of disappointments and our marriage being 100% about his priorities and needs), and that I intend to ultimately leave the marriage. I told him that I would like to arrange my departure at my convenience, and he agreed to in essence be used by me, perhaps out of guilt. It feels wrong and liberating at the same time.

Why would he agree to essentially help increase my net worth over the next year or so knowing that I plan to leave when I feel back on my feet? Has anyone else experienced that before?


Love these drama posts. Love that you get to read what people really think because there are no social consequences. I hope you get 100s of responses - it's what keeps me coming back.

As for your question: I'd do what he did. I'd be super agreeable. Why do you think being super agreeable would be to my advantage?


OP here. Well, I actually did push what I really think into my real life. It got soul crushing to have to pretend that I kept loving a man who focused on himself all the while getting fat and becoming someone I am flat embarrassed to be married to. At the moment I feel so relieved.


Oh and to answer your question - well, in my husband's case, I do think he feels it is to his advantage to essentially pay for a reduction in drama and headache. I also think he thinks that I might stay if I don't leave immediately, but I did what I could to be very clear that this is not the case, so I can't do anything about his delusion.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2018 11:53     Subject: I told my husband brutal the truth
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I told him the truth - that I don't love him anymore (finally gave up trying to after years of disappointments and our marriage being 100% about his priorities and needs), and that I intend to ultimately leave the marriage. I told him that I would like to arrange my departure at my convenience, and he agreed to in essence be used by me, perhaps out of guilt. It feels wrong and liberating at the same time.

Why would he agree to essentially help increase my net worth over the next year or so knowing that I plan to leave when I feel back on my feet? Has anyone else experienced that before?


Love these drama posts. Love that you get to read what people really think because there are no social consequences. I hope you get 100s of responses - it's what keeps me coming back.

As for your question: I'd do what he did. I'd be super agreeable. Why do you think being super agreeable would be to my advantage?


OP here. Well, I actually did push what I really think into my real life. It got soul crushing to have to pretend that I kept loving a man who focused on himself all the while getting fat and becoming someone I am flat embarrassed to be married to. At the moment I feel so relieved.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2018 11:47     Subject: I told my husband brutal the truth
Anonymous wrote:I told him the truth - that I don't love him anymore (finally gave up trying to after years of disappointments and our marriage being 100% about his priorities and needs), and that I intend to ultimately leave the marriage. I told him that I would like to arrange my departure at my convenience, and he agreed to in essence be used by me, perhaps out of guilt. It feels wrong and liberating at the same time.

Why would he agree to essentially help increase my net worth over the next year or so knowing that I plan to leave when I feel back on my feet? Has anyone else experienced that before?


Love these drama posts. Love that you get to read what people really think because there are no social consequences. I hope you get 100s of responses - it's what keeps me coming back.

As for your question: I'd do what he did. I'd be super agreeable. Why do you think being super agreeable would be to my advantage?
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2018 11:44     Subject: Re:I told my husband brutal the truth
Anonymous wrote:People agree to crazy shit when they first hear messages like this. Don’t bet on any of his promises today when planning for the long term.


That's why when a company fires an employee, they want them to sign the separation agreement right away. Dirty trick.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2018 11:42     Subject: I told my husband brutal the truth
Anonymous wrote:Because he does not care and it’s the path of least resistance.

Maybe he doesn’t understand you because you talk like Yoda


Ha, well, first I had "I told my husband the truth" and then added "brutal" afterwards, evidently in the wrong place.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2018 11:40     Subject: I told my husband brutal the truth
Because he does not care and it’s the path of least resistance.

Maybe he doesn’t understand you because you talk like Yoda
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2018 11:40     Subject: Re:I told my husband brutal the truth
People agree to crazy shit when they first hear messages like this. Don’t bet on any of his promises today when planning for the long term.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2018 11:40     Subject: I told my husband brutal the truth
Anonymous wrote:His name is Brutal? That should have been a hint.


NP. Ha!
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2018 11:38     Subject: I told my husband brutal the truth
His name is Brutal? That should have been a hint.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2018 11:37     Subject: I told my husband brutal the truth
I told him the truth - that I don't love him anymore (finally gave up trying to after years of disappointments and our marriage being 100% about his priorities and needs), and that I intend to ultimately leave the marriage. I told him that I would like to arrange my departure at my convenience, and he agreed to in essence be used by me, perhaps out of guilt. It feels wrong and liberating at the same time.

Why would he agree to essentially help increase my net worth over the next year or so knowing that I plan to leave when I feel back on my feet? Has anyone else experienced that before?