Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry your husband is cheating on you, OP.

Maybe try working with a therapist to help you see where to place the blame. It’s not randos on the internet.

Therapist don't do that. Further, nobody is in an affair. I'm just pointing out facts. There seems to be a lot of folks on here that think marriage is a game.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you one of the posters who was trying to shame others who considered affairs when their spouse refused sex for years at a time? Grow up and worry about yourself. Keep your own house in order and hopefully you won't have to deal with the issue of infidelity in your marriage- which is the only one you should feel this strongly about.

But why not get a divorce or ask for an open marriage? I agree that sex is an integral part of marriage but affairs aren’t just wrong because of the sex but also the deception.

But if you don’t want to screw your husband, and you know sex is an integral part of marriage, why not just tell him to go find it elsewhere? Why set him up to lie to you?

Anonymous wrote:Are you one of the posters who was trying to shame others who considered affairs when their spouse refused sex for years at a time? Grow up and worry about yourself. Keep your own house in order and hopefully you won't have to deal with the issue of infidelity in your marriage- which is the only one you should feel this strongly about.

But why not get a divorce or ask for an open marriage? I agree that sex is an integral part of marriage but affairs aren’t just wrong because of the sex but also the deception.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you one of the posters who was trying to shame others who considered affairs when their spouse refused sex for years at a time? Grow up and worry about yourself. Keep your own house in order and hopefully you won't have to deal with the issue of infidelity in your marriage- which is the only one you should feel this strongly about.

So we are talking about sex? Are you kidding me? That's what makes you want to ruin people's lives? Just divorce and don't waste people's time.

We are talking about affairs. Of course that means sex.

Just divorce him and stop wasting our time.

Anonymous wrote:What is the deal? I know a lot of these posts and comments are probably trolls, but there seems to be a lot of legitimate cheaters. To the serial cheaters, why are you getting married and having kids? You had to know that you weren't marriage material before you got married. Like "well I am kinda a hoe, so maybe I shouldn't make any vows." Then you just ruin the lives of everyone around you. Like a wrecking ball.

Look, you are pretty horrible people and I don't expect you to listen, but if you're not marriage material, let the people know beforehand. Please don't get married and more importantly have children. Just the avoid the family life. Let someone a better person, that will not make your partner miserable, find love. You are just blocking up traffic. Like the person on the Metro rests their feet on the seat next to them. Move and let someone else have it.

This message was brought to you by St. Monica, the patron saint of difficult marriages, disappointing children, victims of adultery or unfaithfulness, and victims of (verbal) abuse.

I’m sorry your husband is cheating on you, OP.

Maybe try working with a therapist to help you see where to place the blame. It’s not randos on the internet.

Anonymous wrote:Are you one of the posters who was trying to shame others who considered affairs when their spouse refused sex for years at a time? Grow up and worry about yourself. Keep your own house in order and hopefully you won't have to deal with the issue of infidelity in your marriage- which is the only one you should feel this strongly about.

So we are talking about sex? Are you kidding me? That's what makes you want to ruin people's lives? Just divorce and don't waste people's time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the deal? I know a lot of these posts and comments are probably trolls, but there seems to be a lot of legitimate cheaters. To the serial cheaters, why are you getting married and having kids? You had to know that you weren't marriage material before you got married. Like "well I am kinda a hoe, so maybe I shouldn't make any vows." Then you just ruin the lives of everyone around you. Like a wrecking ball.

Look, you are pretty horrible people and I don't expect you to listen, but if you're not marriage material, let the people know beforehand. Please don't get married and more importantly have children. Just the avoid the family life. Let someone a better person, that will not make your partner miserable, find love. You are just blocking up traffic. Like the person on the Metro rests their feet on the seat next to them. Move and let someone else have it.

OK, so I'm one of those people. But I was faithful for 20 years and had kids. But ... then I got all broken inside, made bad decisions, had some faulty coping mechanisms. Serial cheater? I only cheated with one person, but it was lots and lots of times.

I sure as hell didn't know when I got married that I wasn't going to stay faithful. I had no idea. I surprised myself. I'd never cheated on anybody up to that point. In hindsight I realized I'd had some emotional affairs and I pushed the boundaries of what was OK before marriage, and maybe even a bit after, but at the time I did NOT have any clue, no idea, and it was only after cheating "for real" and reading reading reading up on myself did I realize that I'd had issues my whole life, that I just didn't know it.

If I'd known then what I know now ... things WOULD be different. I probably would not have married the person I married. And sure, I might be a horrible person. Pretty much, I agree, I'm a selfish, horrible, cheater and I can't seem to find empathy for my spouse. But I didn't know in my 20s.

So you were like: "I am having some issues, well time to crush my family." You were on this planet for twenty years and you still couldn't figure out that you were a horrible person? Like even before you had kids? You just wasted someone's life. Like people only have one of those.

Are you one of the posters who was trying to shame others who considered affairs when their spouse refused sex for years at a time? Grow up and worry about yourself. Keep your own house in order and hopefully you won't have to deal with the issue of infidelity in your marriage- which is the only one you should feel this strongly about.

Anonymous wrote:What is the deal? I know a lot of these posts and comments are probably trolls, but there seems to be a lot of legitimate cheaters. To the serial cheaters, why are you getting married and having kids? You had to know that you weren't marriage material before you got married. Like "well I am kinda a hoe, so maybe I shouldn't make any vows." Then you just ruin the lives of everyone around you. Like a wrecking ball.

Look, you are pretty horrible people and I don't expect you to listen, but if you're not marriage material, let the people know beforehand. Please don't get married and more importantly have children. Just the avoid the family life. Let someone a better person, that will not make your partner miserable, find love. You are just blocking up traffic. Like the person on the Metro rests their feet on the seat next to them. Move and let someone else have it.

OK, so I'm one of those people. But I was faithful for 20 years and had kids. But ... then I got all broken inside, made bad decisions, had some faulty coping mechanisms. Serial cheater? I only cheated with one person, but it was lots and lots of times.

I sure as hell didn't know when I got married that I wasn't going to stay faithful. I had no idea. I surprised myself. I'd never cheated on anybody up to that point. In hindsight I realized I'd had some emotional affairs and I pushed the boundaries of what was OK before marriage, and maybe even a bit after, but at the time I did NOT have any clue, no idea, and it was only after cheating "for real" and reading reading reading up on myself did I realize that I'd had issues my whole life, that I just didn't know it.

If I'd known then what I know now ... things WOULD be different. I probably would not have married the person I married. And sure, I might be a horrible person. Pretty much, I agree, I'm a selfish, horrible, cheater and I can't seem to find empathy for my spouse. But I didn't know in my 20s.

Anonymous wrote:This website has normalized affairs to me. I used to think it was rare, but now it seems common.

Right! What's most horrible, there's hardly any remorse. It's like they just enjoy destroying people's lives. Just like Rick James on Eddie Murphy's couch.

If you're genuinely curious, read Esther Perel's book on fidelity to monogamy. She researched the issue and her insights are really interesting.

Like anything in life, it's much more complicated than inane comments like the PP's about players and such. There's nuance there. But people who are black-and-white thinkers who can't/don't want to acknowledge gray struggle with this.

I post that as someone who's been faithful for 20 years and plan to continue.

This website has normalized affairs to me. I used to think it was rare, but now it seems common.

Players gotta play...

What is the deal? I know a lot of these posts and comments are probably trolls, but there seems to be a lot of legitimate cheaters. To the serial cheaters, why are you getting married and having kids? You had to know that you weren't marriage material before you got married. Like "well I am kinda a hoe, so maybe I shouldn't make any vows." Then you just ruin the lives of everyone around you. Like a wrecking ball.

Look, you are pretty horrible people and I don't expect you to listen, but if you're not marriage material, let the people know beforehand. Please don't get married and more importantly have children. Just the avoid the family life. Let someone a better person, that will not make your partner miserable, find love. You are just blocking up traffic. Like the person on the Metro rests their feet on the seat next to them. Move and let someone else have it.