Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope you don't take this the wrong way OP but the girls that I see doing this (and turning out successfully) are from wealthier families, have strong built in networks through their family, are attractive & athletic (not SEC bimbo type attractive but vineyard vines type pretty and stay pretty throughout their lives), and are sociable.

They go to nice mid-level small private colleges and end up doing well in life (both in career and dating/mating) because they have a lot going for them and don't really need the benefit of a 'top school'.

This wouldn't work for an introverted, homely type girl who might need the branding and network of a top school to get where she wants to be.

“ take this the wrong way “? How many ways are there to take such a post?

I would be proud if my daughter was balanced, wealthy, had a strong network, high eq, social, outgoing, was attractive, athletic, AND had the self awareness to shoot for happiness over gunning for something that would turn her into a Madison Holleran. So I don't think it was a 'diss' and I didn't mean it like that. It depends on OP. If I was OP I wouldn't take it as a diss but I can see how some would.

Anonymous wrote:I hope you don't take this the wrong way OP but the girls that I see doing this (and turning out successfully) are from wealthier families, have strong built in networks through their family, are attractive & athletic (not SEC bimbo type attractive but vineyard vines type pretty and stay pretty throughout their lives), and are sociable.

They go to nice mid-level small private colleges and end up doing well in life (both in career and dating/mating) because they have a lot going for them and don't really need the benefit of a 'top school'.

This wouldn't work for an introverted, homely type girl who might need the branding and network of a top school to get where she wants to be.

"SEC Bimbo type attractive" You are pathetic (and ugly, I am sure).

Anonymous wrote:I hope you don't take this the wrong way OP but the girls that I see doing this (and turning out successfully) are from wealthier families, have strong built in networks through their family, are attractive & athletic (not SEC bimbo type attractive but vineyard vines type pretty and stay pretty throughout their lives), and are sociable.

They go to nice mid-level small private colleges and end up doing well in life (both in career and dating/mating) because they have a lot going for them and don't really need the benefit of a 'top school'.

This wouldn't work for an introverted, homely type girl who might need the branding and network of a top school to get where she wants to be.

“ take this the wrong way “? How many ways are there to take such a post?

I hope you don't take this the wrong way OP but the girls that I see doing this (and turning out successfully) are from wealthier families, have strong built in networks through their family, are attractive & athletic (not SEC bimbo type attractive but vineyard vines type pretty and stay pretty throughout their lives), and are sociable.

They go to nice mid-level small private colleges and end up doing well in life (both in career and dating/mating) because they have a lot going for them and don't really need the benefit of a 'top school'.

This wouldn't work for an introverted, homely type girl who might need the branding and network of a top school to get where she wants to be.

My Holton grad was the same OP. Her profile was very similar to what you describe of your daughter and she is at a great LAC that is top 20 but not tippy top. She was told to apply to lots of the top five or ten schools but she decided it wasn't her path. She is beyond thrilled with her choice and loving her college. Because Holton prepared her so well and she was used to rigor, she finds her coursework challenging but not crazy and she has time left over to do clubs, travel with friends to visit other college, have a job giving tours on campus and more. She knows what she wants in terms of grad school and her school is one that has great results in that regard so I'm so happy she decided to go with her preference for environment over trying to look at rankings and decide which is the highest ranking school she could get into.
Good luck to your daughter!

OP, first of all when it comes time for college applications, I would not try to shield her from rejection. Pick reaches. But also pick safeties. Pick some large publics. And a small college or two. Choices. A wide spectrum. Once she knows it really is her choice, once acceptances are IN, it will be very empowering. Seniors can change a lot from Fall to May, what they want, where they view themselves fitting-in. Trying to figure it out now, I think, is too soon.

Grinnell, Carleton, Maclaster, Colby, Colorado College.

She needs to visit a vareity of schools. Also, look at different rankings, including the ones for grateful grads and happiness. There are lower stress colleges which might be a good fit for her.

Consider Colleges That Change Lives schools. My son is at one of the CTCL schools in the Midwest, and is extremely happy there. He likes the Midwestern friendliness and practicality, and is relieved, I think, to be away from the name-brand-obsessed culture here.

He enjoys his classes, has close relationships with professors, and loves his extracurriculars.

Look at College of Wooster, Ohio Wesleyan, Kenyon, Denison, Juniata, Grinnell, Beloit.

My DC shared an attitude very similar to your daughter. College has been amazing experience and DC has taken advantage of many programs and opportunities offered at university. DC is in honors college which seems to offer best of both worlds - small environment of accomplished peers and other friends that may be less intense academically but also wonderful, interesting and fun. Highly recommend exploring this sort of environment - DC has never been more confident, motivated and happy.

For smart, sporty kids who want to be fully engaged in and out of school--but without a pressure-cooker academic atmosphere--I always recommend looking at the same four schools (from east to west): Bates; Grinnell; Colorado College; and Whitman.

I went to a good but not amazing LAC in the Midwest. Got a half tuition scholarship, and had a great experience as a big fish in a small pond. Did lots of research with faculty, presented at conferences, they even waived some gen ed and other requirements for me.

I worked hard, but not as hard as many at Ivies and elsewhere did. Landed a very prestigious national scholarship for grad school overseas. I think having come from a fine quality but lesser known school was a factor in getting the scholarship and in all the opportunities I had.

Wherever your daughter goes, she will have to work hard to do well. Maybe the atmosphere will be different in terms of a school being more collaborative than cut throat, but I can tell you that kids who do well at "middle of the road" schools work very hard and feel a lot of pressure.

There is no harm putting a couple of applications out to reaches and seeing where it goes. By the time she gets an acceptance she might find she has visited and is comfortable in those environments. At the moment its all theory and no reality.

My daughter is a junior at a top 5 private. Her friends from her old public are in a top programs too. She is surrounding by many friends who are on the track to success. My daughter is doing great. GPA is 3.5 UW and will only go up as this is the first year allowed for AP’s and before that most classes but math aren’t offered as honors. She currently has 4 A’s and 2 B’s which her best year yet. She got a 34 on her first ACT. No tutors no test prep but she works hard. We have looked at many schools within reason. The counselor seems to be picking reaches because DD has a ton of leadership positions in and out of school. But the more the counselor says my daughter can do this, the less interested my daughter gets. She has seen kids above her go off to cut throat schools and were stressed. She has seen some pick middle of the road and seem happier. She confided that she doesn’t want a top notch school. She has worked really hard and wants to enjoy college. Work on things she is passionate about while maintaining A’s. Not burning herself in books all week long. Then look for graduate. Now mind you, she is not a drinker or partier but she loves sports, leading committes, working with faculty on projects etc... But this is all with like-minded kids.

I don’t want her in a high stress school either. I want her to get out of this area for sure. But then again, I am not sure a huge school would be the best. And I also don’t want her to go somewhere and not feel challenged. I also don’t know for sure if she just doesn’t want part of the rat race and is bowing out when she secretly might want to try and is scared to “fail.” Anyway....

I would love advice from people whose kids went this route.
Are they happy?
Did they have regrets?
Did they find enough to challenge them?
Pros/Cons
School examples would be nice too.