Anonymous
02/09/2018 10:07
Subject: Work at home parents who successfully crossed over to work outside of the home
Kind of a long story as to why I was a SAHM for so long, but basically, I stayed very PT telework and then went back to the office FT as soon as I had the opportunity. I loved the years before the kids started school. Once school started, to be honest, depression set in. I'm a terrible (and uninterested) homemaker and missed the career into which I'd invested so much education. Plus, we really needed the second salary.
You will likely find your partner is the key to all of this. When I went back FT, I warned everyone that they needed to step up with helping out--DH especially. It took several years and many tantrums for that to actually materialize to a balance I am mostly OK with. People had gotten reaallly used to having their every need fulfilled.
The fact is, unless you can afford super-reliable outside help, one parent has to have the more flexible job, and that's me. There are many days when I'd rather be in the office than the snow-day or doctor's appointment parent. But at this point in my career, I will never catch up to or exceed DH's salary, so it makes more sense. And I'm incredibly lucky that I do have that flexibility.
I'm rambling here, but basically, working from home isn't for everyone, even when it looks wonderful on paper. Your own sanity counts, too.
You will likely find your partner is the key to all of this. When I went back FT, I warned everyone that they needed to step up with helping out--DH especially. It took several years and many tantrums for that to actually materialize to a balance I am mostly OK with. People had gotten reaallly used to having their every need fulfilled.
The fact is, unless you can afford super-reliable outside help, one parent has to have the more flexible job, and that's me. There are many days when I'd rather be in the office than the snow-day or doctor's appointment parent. But at this point in my career, I will never catch up to or exceed DH's salary, so it makes more sense. And I'm incredibly lucky that I do have that flexibility.
I'm rambling here, but basically, working from home isn't for everyone, even when it looks wonderful on paper. Your own sanity counts, too.
Anonymous
02/08/2018 23:46
Subject: Work at home parents who successfully crossed over to work outside of the home
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As a work out of the home mom I have to say that you have no idea what you are saying. I imagine working at home can get monotonous but trying to raise kids and take care of a household when both parents work out the house totally sucks and I can assure you things get crazier as the kids get older. I would give anything to be able to work at home.
New poster...but reading this makes me think I need to work on being more grateful for my WAH (part time) status. I often feel guilty for not taking on more freelance work or not working outside the home full time because I am convinced that I am less than because I don't "do it all" with ease. This post reminds me that the grass is not always greener. (Sometimes it IS, but usually not.)
Anonymous
02/08/2018 23:19
Subject: Work at home parents who successfully crossed over to work outside of the home
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As a work out of the home mom I have to say that you have no idea what you are saying. I imagine working at home can get monotonous but trying to raise kids and take care of a household when both parents work out the house totally sucks and I can assure you things get crazier as the kids get older. I would give anything to be able to work at home.
+1
+2
What a gift, to be able to be at home.
Anonymous
02/08/2018 07:53
Subject: Work at home parents who successfully crossed over to work outside of the home
Anonymous wrote:I had been WAH 80% of the time for 7 years, but am in the office more and more now and it’s made our life more harried, but we’re managing and I’m happier. From your post, it sounds like right now you work and take care of all the kid stuff? Your partner needs to step up - just like in a situation where a SAH mom goes back to work. If you need to get out of the house for your mental health (I get that!), you need to make a change.
I’m happier now that I’m in the office more, though juggling logistics is a bit harder. Luckily, I have a partner who has always been willing to step in and a community that helps with kid logistics. Certainly look for jobs with short commutes and flexibility, but if you can find one of those, get yourself out of the house!
This is correct. I take on more kid stuff-Dh has a longer commute but is supportive/helpful. I need to hire some help. And a better paying job. I’m in a dead end role right now. Discouraging and depressing to be honest!
Anonymous
02/08/2018 07:52
Subject: Re:Work at home parents who successfully crossed over to work outside of the home
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Are you children young and at home all day? Do you have the kind of work from home job where you need to have your butt in the seat during normal working hours? I work from home full-time and also get isolated on occasion but any advice that I would give depends on the answers to those two questions.
My children are at elementary school/day care. My butt is in seat alllll day, client calls, etc...
I am the PP, my child is also an elementary school and I’m required to be but in seat during regular working hours. How do you think it work in the office job will change? You have coworkers to interact with is that the main draw for you. I have to say I love my work at home job and could not imagine going back full-time Monday through Friday to the office. Is there anyway to make sure that you can leave the house as soon as your workday is done? That is important to me, if I have not done that For two days in a row on the third day I start to go crazy.
Anonymous
02/08/2018 07:43
Subject: Re:Work at home parents who successfully crossed over to work outside of the home
Anonymous wrote:Are you children young and at home all day? Do you have the kind of work from home job where you need to have your butt in the seat during normal working hours? I work from home full-time and also get isolated on occasion but any advice that I would give depends on the answers to those two questions.
My children are at elementary school/day care. My butt is in seat alllll day, client calls, etc...
Anonymous
02/08/2018 06:36
Subject: Re:Work at home parents who successfully crossed over to work outside of the home
Are you children young and at home all day? Do you have the kind of work from home job where you need to have your butt in the seat during normal working hours? I work from home full-time and also get isolated on occasion but any advice that I would give depends on the answers to those two questions.
Anonymous
02/08/2018 06:16
Subject: Work at home parents who successfully crossed over to work outside of the home
^ pp here - should mention, I stayed at the same org but my role changed to involve much more interaction, which I found stimulating even on days that happened from home. I was looking for new positions though before that happened bc I felt stagnant, isolated, and unhappy. I was taking my time though and being picky to find something compatible with family life.
Anonymous
02/08/2018 06:11
Subject: Work at home parents who successfully crossed over to work outside of the home
I had been WAH 80% of the time for 7 years, but am in the office more and more now and it’s made our life more harried, but we’re managing and I’m happier. From your post, it sounds like right now you work and take care of all the kid stuff? Your partner needs to step up - just like in a situation where a SAH mom goes back to work. If you need to get out of the house for your mental health (I get that!), you need to make a change.
I’m happier now that I’m in the office more, though juggling logistics is a bit harder. Luckily, I have a partner who has always been willing to step in and a community that helps with kid logistics. Certainly look for jobs with short commutes and flexibility, but if you can find one of those, get yourself out of the house!
I’m happier now that I’m in the office more, though juggling logistics is a bit harder. Luckily, I have a partner who has always been willing to step in and a community that helps with kid logistics. Certainly look for jobs with short commutes and flexibility, but if you can find one of those, get yourself out of the house!
Anonymous
02/08/2018 05:56
Subject: Work at home parents who successfully crossed over to work outside of the home
Anonymous wrote:As a work out of the home mom I have to say that you have no idea what you are saying. I imagine working at home can get monotonous but trying to raise kids and take care of a household when both parents work out the house totally sucks and I can assure you things get crazier as the kids get older. I would give anything to be able to work at home.
+1
Anonymous
02/07/2018 23:18
Subject: Work at home parents who successfully crossed over to work outside of the home
Anonymous wrote:As a work out of the home mom I have to say that you have no idea what you are saying. I imagine working at home can get monotonous but trying to raise kids and take care of a household when both parents work out the house totally sucks and I can assure you things get crazier as the kids get older. I would give anything to be able to work at home.
That’s discouraging. Perhaps I should mention how depressed and isolated I feel, or that I think at this point a break from the kids would be good (and a sitter may be better for them). Do you work from home at all?
Anonymous
02/07/2018 23:15
Subject: Work at home parents who successfully crossed over to work outside of the home
My spouse just did this. Started working outside the home twenty hours a week. It's been a hard adjustment, but for me, the spouse who has always worked full time outside the home. Easy for spouse and a good move too.
Anonymous
02/07/2018 22:20
Subject: Work at home parents who successfully crossed over to work outside of the home
As a work out of the home mom I have to say that you have no idea what you are saying. I imagine working at home can get monotonous but trying to raise kids and take care of a household when both parents work out the house totally sucks and I can assure you things get crazier as the kids get older. I would give anything to be able to work at home.
Anonymous
02/07/2018 22:12
Subject: Re:Work at home parents who successfully crossed over to work outside of the home
I am in this situation and co to us to work at home because it works so well for everyone. We would have to pay for before and after care if I went to an office (right now I do some hours at home when the kids are sleeping).
I just tell myself it won’t last forever
I just tell myself it won’t last forever
Anonymous
02/07/2018 19:56
Subject: Work at home parents who successfully crossed over to work outside of the home
This is for any adult who worked at home for the sake of their kids. Did you get sick of working at home, or just sick of the job? And did you successfully start working outside of the home? (As in, is the household managing? Kid care? Appts, food, etc..) I’m the default parent and I’m so ready to work outside of the home, or ideally find an office to go into a few days a week and work the other days from home. But I wonder how this will impact everyone else.