A text randomly popping up on your laptop? Yea. Ok.

You sound jealous and insecure and not mature enough to handle an adult relationship with someone who has kids and a good relationship with the ex.

First of all - SO? It makes you uncomfortable? Ummm WHO ARE YOU? Why would anything that he is doing with his money that doesn't affect you cause you any reaction whatsoever? Apparently he trusts THE MOTHER OF HIS KIDS to not...oh I don't know what scenario you actually envisioned - rob him in the middle of the night for his credit union balance?

Get over your jealousy and inputs into what is not your business now. Frankly - the best for the kids is for you to just step off now permanently. This won't end well.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Ok noted. I just think its odd an ex spouse would have direct access to his funds. But I guess I am wrong.

No you aren't wrong. It would really concern me.

I think its odd too. Ex is probably responsible and there has never been an issue but if he has that attitude now, what will happen when you are married. I married a man with kids and if he said that to me, I'd run. He should just send her a bank check. She can cover it for a few days.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team Dad.

I don’t understand your reaction. This seems like a perfectly sensible setup to me for a coparenting situation.

She is jealous and possessive.

+1. This is so far outside of the realm of “your business”, OP, you’re gonna need a map to find your way back to the land of “stuff you get a say in”. Kudos to him for shutting you down hard.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like they have a very amicable relationship and do their best to split expenses. Don't rock the boat otherwise you might get tossed overboard.

Exactly, she will get dumped.

OP here. Ok noted. I just think its odd an ex spouse would have direct access to his funds. But I guess I am wrong.

It sounds like they have a very amicable relationship and do their best to split expenses. Don't rock the boat otherwise you might get tossed overboard.

Anonymous wrote:Team Dad.

I don’t understand your reaction. This seems like a perfectly sensible setup to me for a coparenting situation.

She is jealous and possessive.

Anonymous wrote:If this is how they do things and it's working for them and proved over time then that seems reasonable. Unless she's demonstrated a penchant for stealing before, I don't see why you'd be concerned. Let it go.

+1. This is really none of your business. And you are overstepping majorly especially if you don't have combined finances. Personally, I think it's great that he has a good relationship with his ex.

Team Dad.

I don’t understand your reaction. This seems like a perfectly sensible setup to me for a coparenting situation.

Sounds like they are handling their shared responsibilities maturely.

If this is how they do things and it's working for them and proved over time then that seems reasonable. Unless she's demonstrated a penchant for stealing before, I don't see why you'd be concerned. Let it go.

Sounds reasonable to me, and a sign he can find a way to work with his ex to meet kids needs. If you ever combine finances, revisit.

He Is right, get used to it. You will never come first.

BF and I have been dating 3 years and moved in together 3 months ago. Things are going really well. He has 2 kids with his ex wife. They have 50/50 but the kids stay over at ex house more before of logistics and their preference. BF and Ex never talk on the phone but text regularly and attend sporting events together. I recently saw a text (that popped up on my laptop) saying "cheer camp is 300 dollars. I will write 150 from my own account, can I write the other 150 out of your credit union." He responds "sounds great, thanks." I brought it up immediately and he admitted to giving her a few (3-5) blank checks to write for various school things. He said she always tells him what she is writing it for and its just easier. I said this makes me very uncomfortable and he snapped back "we have separate finances so this isn't your business." Red flag? Up until this point things were great, this makes me uneasy.