Anonymous
Post 01/28/2018 21:33     Subject: What do you think when your child doesn't get into a school?
This is actually an uplifting thread!
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2018 21:15     Subject: What do you think when your child doesn't get into a school?
My sister didn’t get into a highly desirable boarding school. I remember my parents were devastated. She then hit pretty much every ivy/top school in this country for all her degrees/training. So at the end of the day, I always go back to that- she didn’t get in then, but still proved to me more successful than most. So when my kids don’t/didn’t get in, I just brush it off as it was not their time yet. Their success is not based on where they go to school, but what we can give to them at home to support all their strengths and weaknesses.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2018 20:14     Subject: Re:What do you think when your child doesn't get into a school?
There are many more wonderful, bright, talented children than spaces available in the school. It isn't anyone's "fault"
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2018 16:33     Subject: What do you think when your child doesn't get into a school?
Anonymous wrote:Quite honestly, I blamed 1) Primarily, DC’s lower school for not accurately assessing DC’s social abilities for years and even underestimating DC’s intellectual strength; and 2) blamed ourselves as parents for at times callng the School out on this and those conflicts probably did not make us the most desirable family to recommend. Neither of us had graduated from privates and it took us some time to learn the cultural norms. But yes, the private school DC ended up in turned out great for DC in most ways, and there were many families at the high schools that didn’t accept him that wished their children had DZc’s college placement, so it all worked out.


Mmm, hope you can let all this go by the time your child is out of grad school.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2018 13:30     Subject: What do you think when your child doesn't get into a school?
I think: “Their loss.”

Anonymous
Post 01/28/2018 12:51     Subject: What do you think when your child doesn't get into a school?
Quite honestly, I blamed 1) Primarily, DC’s lower school for not accurately assessing DC’s social abilities for years and even underestimating DC’s intellectual strength; and 2) blamed ourselves as parents for at times callng the School out on this and those conflicts probably did not make us the most desirable family to recommend. Neither of us had graduated from privates and it took us some time to learn the cultural norms. But yes, the private school DC ended up in turned out great for DC in most ways, and there were many families at the high schools that didn’t accept him that wished their children had DZc’s college placement, so it all worked out.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2018 11:53     Subject: What do you think when your child doesn't get into a school?
I think they either see that it’s not a good fit - or if it is a good fit, that there’s just not enough space for everyone.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2018 06:56     Subject: Re:What do you think when your child doesn't get into a school?
How old is the child? I certainly don't blame my K-er for only being accepted to 1 school last year. (Not my 1st choice). The school is great and DC loves it, BTW. I reflected on my application and interview answers, but ultimately decided to believe the admissions staff when they said they would like to have DC, but didn't have room for all the great kids.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2018 01:29     Subject: What do you think when your child doesn't get into a school?
Anonymous wrote:I’ll blame Obama. That seems to work well.


Please keep politics out of this thread. OP was trying to get some serious advice.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2018 23:16     Subject: What do you think when your child doesn't get into a school?
I’ll blame Obama. That seems to work well.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2018 22:40     Subject: What do you think when your child doesn't get into a school?
I don't know, but I sure as heck won't be look ing for someone to blame. There are hundreds of applicants for very few spots. Lots of wonderful kids don't get admitted.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2018 22:38     Subject: Re:What do you think when your child doesn't get into a school?
No one's "fault." Sometimes it's just not a good fit and/or it's simply a number's game.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2018 22:37     Subject: Re:What do you think when your child doesn't get into a school?
+1
Unless the child or you behaved atrociously while visiting, not getting accepted generally comes down to one of two things - (1) a situation like PP describe where the school felt the child would not be successful within the program and supports the school offers or (2) there were simply more qualified kids than spaces and at that point it's just luck of how they put the class together / how many spaces get taken by siblings, alumni, athletes, etc.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2018 22:24     Subject: What do you think when your child doesn't get into a school?

In our case, it was because of the red flags raised by his WISC. Since I was an alumni, the headmistress, who had been the assistant headmistress when I was a student there, called me personally and very kindly told me that his profile raised concerns and that he would likely not be successful at the school.

She was absolutely right, and I am grateful to her for opening my eyes to this. My son is now doing well in a gifted and learning disabled program, in public school. It's not the kind of specialized thing you could find in private.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2018 22:21     Subject: What do you think when your child doesn't get into a school?
His fault? Parents fault? Current school's fault?