Don't tell me you're upset about this. They didn't know, you didn't know, there is far more at stake than date preferences...

Come on, OP.

I have a similar experience. My cousin and I are the same age- our birthdays are a week apart and we got married the same year as well. I always knew I would need fertility treatments because I have PCOS, and thyroid problems. I always assumed my cousin would get pregnant first because she didn’t have those hurdles. She had to turn to IVF just like me and I do not know why, nor does it matter. We went to different doctors in the same clinic. Our transfers were about a week apart. I was so nervous that she would get pregnant and I wouldn’t. I was like fixated on it... because I was being hormonal and an irrational jealous person. Well from that cycle I ended up with identical twins- they are almost 3 now. My cousin was not successful and hasn’t been since. We also don’t talk anymore- her choice. Bottom line- don’t say a thing!-

I wouldn’t say anything because if you are successful and they aren’t- it would be really hard for them...let’s just acknowledge human emotions and how jealousy can factor in here. Your mom shouldn’t have said anything because if they are successful, and your FET doesn’t take, it may make you feel upset. Obviously the best scenario is both FETS work and you both have successful pregnancies. it’s quite the coincidence that’s it’s the same day!! Good luck!!

Does your mom know about your fet? Are you sure she hasn't told them?

I wouldn't say anything. Since neither cycle is a guaranteed success there is a lot of potential for unpleasant comparisons.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
And at the least my brother HAS To know my mom told me - she has a rep for having a BIG mouth.

IVF/FET aside, THIS will have to be addressed to your brother!! I do not want to have my mom spreading such a delicate sensitive private information to anyone!!

Or your MIL!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's kind of neat. It's nice to have cousins close in age.

Sure, if both FETs implant and continue on to be healthy pregnancies.

Team Do Not Say Anything here. If they wanted you to know, they would’ve told you themselves. Let them disclose if/when they are ready.

+1. Another Team Do Not Say Anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's kind of neat. It's nice to have cousins close in age.

Sure, if both FETs implant and continue on to be healthy pregnancies.

Team Do Not Say Anything here. If they wanted you to know, they would’ve told you themselves. Let them disclose if/when they are ready.

Do not say anything until they tell you they are pregnant. I had a FET in October that didn’t work. A few weeks later, my SIL announced that she was pregnant with the EXACT same due date that that cycle would have had. I’m now 7 weeks pregnant from my next FET cycle and I’m sure it will be funny someday if all the pregnancies work out. But hearing my in laws crow over her due date was like daggers to my eyes at first. Since nobody knew, I could just smile and congratulate them and keep that to myself.

Anonymous wrote:
And at the least my brother HAS To know my mom told me - she has a rep for having a BIG mouth.

IVF/FET aside, THIS will have to be addressed to your brother!! I do not want to have my mom spreading such a delicate sensitive private information to anyone!!

Anonymous wrote:I think it's kind of neat. It's nice to have cousins close in age.

Sure, if both FETs implant and continue on to be healthy pregnancies.

Team Do Not Say Anything here. If they wanted you to know, they would’ve told you themselves. Let them disclose if/when they are ready.

Anonymous wrote:could be an opportunity for growing closer to family. maybe if you dont mind, mention youre doing an FET today? Honestly isolation is the last thing any of us need!

OP here
that's what I'm thinking. They are around every other weekend or so because they are looking to buy a house around our current neighborhood. So maybe I'll mentioned something super casual.
And at the least my brother HAS To know my mom told me - she has a rep for having a BIG mouth.

could be an opportunity for growing closer to family. maybe if you dont mind, mention youre doing an FET today? Honestly isolation is the last thing any of us need!

I think it's kind of neat. It's nice to have cousins close in age.

Maybe you could get to be closer if you have "twin" cousins!

Good luck to both of you!

Anonymous wrote:weird right?
I'm not that close to my brother and my SIL but my mom spilled the beans last night.
No reaching out right? They know we used IVF for DD but not sure if they know we are trying for #2. They are trying for their first.

Your mom should not have told you. Don't reach out to them--they know you used IVF, so if they had wanted to contact you about it, they would have.

Best of luck to you both!

weird right?
I'm not that close to my brother and my SIL but my mom spilled the beans last night.
No reaching out right? They know we used IVF for DD but not sure if they know we are trying for #2. They are trying for their first.