Toddlers are annoying. The only thing to do is get through it. If you have them close together you get it done more quickly than if they're far apart.

Is there time to think about it? I had my first at 28 and did not feel ready for a second until my first was 4+ for a ton of reasons, including having a VERY difficult child (later diagnosed ADHD).

I then dealt with unexplained secondary infertility for a while, which put me on the other end of things - wondering how I would feel if I just wasn't able to have a second.

I'm an only and I had a good life. I always saw myself with more than one, but it was not because I had problems with being an only.

We did eventually have a happy surprise second child. They are 8.5 years apart. My second child is much easier than the first. At least so far

Unless you are feeling pressure to have a second, give yourself some time to think about it.

I kind of regret having one, but I see the benefits too. I don’t want my child to be alone when she’s older. I value the bond I have with my siblings. The top reason: I don’t want her to have to deal with aging parents on her own. I didn’t foresee that possibility back when having another was an option.

The toddler years are very short in terms of a lifetime of having two children and/or a sibling. Food for thought.

Anonymous wrote:I’m an only, who by the time I was a teenager could see the benefits of being an only. As an adult, I still can. Doesn’t meen I don’t wish for that imagined “perfect” sibling. I come from an extended family that is quite big, and all of my aunts tend to say, they wish they had one more than whatever they had. That it was so much work when the kids were little, but when they are grown in hindsight you realize what a short period of chaos it was.

I’m due with my second. I’d love 3 but DH was barely on board with 2, so I focus on being happy with what I’ve got.

I would also love a #3 but we have to stop at 2. Ultimately it’s not the chaos of the early years that’s keeping us from having #3, it’s the cost of childcare and college

I'm very content with 1. But how old is your toddler? Eighteen months to age 2 was very hard; so was age 3.5. Age 4 has been amazing.

I’m an only, who by the time I was a teenager could see the benefits of being an only. As an adult, I still can. Doesn’t meen I don’t wish for that imagined “perfect” sibling. I come from an extended family that is quite big, and all of my aunts tend to say, they wish they had one more than whatever they had. That it was so much work when the kids were little, but when they are grown in hindsight you realize what a short period of chaos it was.

I’m due with my second. I’d love 3 but DH was barely on board with 2, so I focus on being happy with what I’ve got.

Not in the least. I love having an only. And my only loves being an only.

Anonymous wrote:Oh poor OP. There are many women on here who love to complain about this topic. I think for myself, I struggled with feeling allowed to only want one child.

to specify, they love to complain about the content of the thread and that you'd dare ask this question when so many forums exist. I'm cool with it but you've been warned.

Oh poor OP. There are many women on here who love to complain about this topic. I think for myself, I struggled with feeling allowed to only want one child.

Yes, but hopefully it is in God's plan for me to have more soon.

Nope.

No. I don't regret it, but it's also all I know.

Yes, others do, but they are romanticizing how it would be with more.

These posts won't help you. You decide for YOU. If you aren't sure, for heaven's sake, don't have a 2nd.

I had two, back to back and while it was hard it was also easier because they were less demanding of me, having each other. I grew up a single child and I know I was very demanding of my parents, particularly my mother. I think that is quite normal.

I don't know what to say - if you don't instinctively really want another, probably better not to do it. I know some families whose last kid has really broken things in terms of the family dynamic, like two nice kids and a 3rd one who is very badly behaved and causes a lot of stress etc.

I have one child. I'm not sure if I should have more. I reLly enjoyed having a baby, but the toddler years are HELL to me. My kid annoys the crap out of me constantly. I don't like the tantrums, whining, helplessness. It really sucks in comparison to the baby phase for me. I always thought that I'd have more than one, but after the toddler phase I'm reconsidering. Is this a good enough reason to only have one? Anyone have one and regret it when it was too late?