Yes, my southern relatives write thank you notes to our family (MIL, TIP, SIL, BOL, so not one-way, youngest to oldest). Heck, if our famy goes over my sister-in-law's for dinner, they write us a thank you note for coming over. My Yankee ass thinks it's a little over-the-top and ridiculous. But it's family, you got to do what you got to do!

Anonymous wrote:Parents/in laws/brother/sister verbal thank you
Grandparents/aunts/family friends hand written note

This. Anyone besides siblings and parents gets a handwritten thank you note, no exceptions.

Parents/in laws/brother/sister verbal thank you
Grandparents/aunts/family friends hand written note

*giver

While I think sending a nice “Thank You” card is still the optimal way to go, I have read & seen some Etiquette Experts discuss that they may be a little outdated.

They have said that in this day and age of so many avenues available for communication, as long as you properly let the giver that you are thankful for their gift to you, then that is perfectly acceptable.

No more than a month is reasonable.

IME, the elderly expect to receive TY cards, but they do not feel it necessary to send them.

I was raised to write thank you notes to everyone no matter what, and my parents and MIL write thank you notes to me. I wish we could follow the "in person receipt" agreement you all seem to have.

Anonymous wrote:My parents - in person is fine.

In Laws - you know, my MIL makes a big deal about thank you cards. I was feeling guilty for not sending one this week, then I realized, in the15 years I've known her not once has she mentioned or implied mandatory thank you notes to my DH, and not once has he written her one. So...I'm gonna let that double standard go this year.

OP here. DH has to write thank you cards to his relatives. He drags his feet and there's a lot of nagging involved. His birthday and Christmas are combined so he actually has 2x the amount.

My parents - in person is fine.

In Laws - you know, my MIL makes a big deal about thank you cards. I was feeling guilty for not sending one this week, then I realized, in the15 years I've known her not once has she mentioned or implied mandatory thank you notes to my DH, and not once has he written her one. So...I'm gonna let that double standard go this year.

Anonymous wrote: Mandatory hand written thank you cards from my southern side of the family.

And your older relatives send you thank yous? Or do thank yous only go up to older people.

Mandatory hand written thank you cards from my southern side of the family.

If you already thanked the giver in person, no need to write TY cards. For mailed gifts a quick email or phone call to acknowledge that you received it and thank them is sufficient. What I hate more than anything is mailing gifts to relatives and never hear peep from them, so I'm wondering if they even got it (they always do, but just couldn't be bothered to even mention it).

For a mailed gift, I send some kind of acknowledgment--email or a phone call is fine in my family. I sent written thank-you notes for wedding and shower gifts.

If someone gives me a gift and I give them a gift in person like for Christmas, I don't write a thank you note.

If someone mails me a gift, I do send a thank you or if it is something where I received gifts but didn't give them (like a birthday celebration or shower) I always send thank you notes.

The "adults" in my family all seem to follow same. We get thank you notes from my DH's grandmothers for gift we've sent them.

Do you all send thank you cards to relatives as adults? I give my grandparents, parents and aunts/uncles very nice gifts and they give me similarly priced items. I've noticed over the years that I've never once received a thank you card from any of them for Christmas gifts. Do the elderly just not send thank you cards? Do I still have to send them thank you cards?

I'm asking partly due to laziness and partly because since I got married and since we've had children, my thank you pile is sky high. I have at least 20 I need to write and I dread it. I don't even want to receive gifts because I dread thank yous.

Maybe I should only write thank you cards to people who mailed me gifts and didn't give them in person?